Bystander Theme - Kohaku's Good

[theiyobsessed]

Kohaku grimaced at his opponent, a stuffed, man-sized doll, complete with armor. He was expected to demonstrate what he’d learned in the use of the Kusarigama, a weapon he’d been using for over a year now. It was a sickle attached to a chain, commonly used by ninja and very effective in demon slaying.

His previous weapon had been a sword, but he

Comments

[amara_anon]

Wow, this was really good. I could feel Kohaku's uneasiness at the end. The last line really drove that home.

[theiyobsessed]

Thanks a lot. ^_^

[forthrightly]

Very, very good, hon! I like how you set Kohaku's desire to please his family against his own distaste for and discomfort with the family business.

Just a quick note: 'attacked' in the first paragraph should be 'attached' ::wink::

~forthright

[theiyobsessed]

AGH! Typo! Well, a taste of my own medicine I guess (I'm always pointing out typos to people ^^")

And thank you for the comment. ^_^ I thought about having this be while he was under Naraku's control (the last line would've suited that scenario better), or after he got his memories back but I was more interested in what he was like before all that happened. Right before, in fact. I like how it turned out. Thanks again.

[caitriona695]

Good Job. You did well keeping him in character as a nervous youth trying to please his family. I wonder if the Kohaku inside thought about this day when Naraku forced him to kill his family?

[theiyobsessed]

Now there's an interesting thought. I don't think he thinks about much when he's under Naraku's control, but if he did it'd sure be torture!

[caitriona695]

I have often thought that one of the truly cruel things that Naraku would do is to allow Kohaku to be aware of self when he is under complete physcial control. And then block the memories when he gives the body back. What better form of psychological torture than to see what your body is doing and be unable to stop it. You despair over your body's actions; you despair over your soul's inability to regain control.

I personally think this second is the reason, in the manga, that Kohaku isn't able to join his sister.

Just my two yen worth though.

[theiyobsessed]

Yeah. That does sound like Naraku. I haven't really gotten very far in the manga (only up to like vol. 25) and the rest of my knowledge comes from the show and from fanfictions and other fans. So I haven't really seen much of Kohaku. But when I wrote this I was thinking about the first episode he was in, and another when he was taken into a village and then he started killing everybody. That's a time that I felt like he was really a bystander in his body. So I guess even then I was imagining it that way--him having to watch his body do those things and not be able to stop them. ^^ Thanks for the input.

[shalinilahiri]

Very excellent fic! Nice to see Kohaku's viewpoint.

[theiyobsessed]

Thank you!