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[iyet2beawake]

She think I can't get through college, she believes that I can't do anything. She believes that I have no direction in life, that because I'm asking for help in school and I'm still not getting little things that it's going to ruin everything

Comments

[tokyo_18]

Stop taking her critism to heart. seriously, she's not all together yet. And may never be. She's not the same person, and she refuses to admit it. And accept it.

you're doing peachy keen.

Go to college for yourself. Not to prove the world wrong. It isn't worth it. College isn't worth trying to prove the world wrong. It isn't waht you accomplish that will be worth your energy when proving the world wrong, it'll be your actions.

You know, the whole, the its not hte destination its the journey thing? Yeah that. Some of those dumb saying really mean something.

I'm far from the perfect daughter. I'm far from mom's ideal of the A'Lisa she keeps spouting and comparing you to. If she tells a story or uses and example, come ot me, I'll set the record straight.

To be frank, I don't think she remembers most of the time I was in high school. She was in and out of the hospital and nearly dead too many times. All she heard was that I was doing well. She wasn't there. Mentally nor physically.

Besides, I think you two will never get along. You two are too much alike. WAY too much alike. ( the parts of the personality that shine through the insanity she's speaks in)

Both stubborn like no other, both very quantity driven, both so completely lost in what they really want. (Mom has never figured out what she wants in her life and I really don't think you either... jack of all trades sort of thing) Math is not mom's strong suit no matter what she thinks.

Something that she missed when growing up, is that math is ALL about the steps you take to get there. Doing it in your head is a nice trick. But can you prove it? That's the real tell of mathematicians.

she can probably teach it, but not the way you need to learn. I couldn't learn from her either. She tried. Bunches. Not really worth your time or energy.

I think out of all these comments I've been trying to say, chill out. Relax. Live. Breathe! count back from ten. And stop thinking I'm perfect, there are more things in my closet then clothing.

Wanna know another secret? I love you.

and another more serious one? I don't really want to be in college. I don't really want a career. I don't really want a job or to be a neurosurgeon. I want to be a mom. I want to have a husband and a family. Screw the degrees. But since I don't think that'll ever work out, I'll just work my ass of becoming a neurosurgeon so that I can enjoy cutting open people's heads and fixing their problems.

and another secret? I'm totally taking you to a rated R movie when you turn 17. It'll be awesome! I love you. I always will. kisses and hugs from houghton. (and if you really want to, any of the summers I'm up here, feel free to move in with me.) I just really want you near me. I miss my little sister. More and more every day.