Today I Went Cliffjumping (A Poem)
Today was the day that my life would change
I set my resolve, and agreed to finally do it
Nothing was going to turn me away
I was going to give up the resistance and let it happen
I got the call around 11:20 in the evening
She said, "We need to talk."
I hemmed and I hawwed and I gave in
I climed the mountain to the apex
I checked my parachute one last time
Made sure it was firmly attached to my body
I sent up a prayer for a safe landing
We laid our cards out on the table
Got it all out in the air
Discussed how we felt about each other
I approached the edge of the cliff
Felt the wind rushing through my hair
Readied myself for takeoff...
...and backed down
I talked myself in circles around the issues
She told me everything I wanted, needed to hear...
...and I couldn't committ
I skulked away from the cliff, defeated
Felt the blood in my veins settle
Lowered my chin in defeat
I couldn't make the jump that I had waited for
I did not trust myself enough to tell her how I really feel
I did not explain to her how badly I wanted to say yes
I did not allow myself to be happy
People told me not to climb that mountain
They said that it is much too dangerous
much too unstable
not firm enough to launch myself from
In the end, the only one that won is them
Those who placed the doubt in my mind
Those who told me it wouldn't work
Those who told me she wasn't ready
Those who don't want me to be happy
I'm kicking myself for not going through with it
I brought myself to tears realizing that I hadn't changed
I've always been afraid to let myself be happy
I realize now that I haven't changed at all
That mountain will always be too high for me
I need to forget about what they say
what they warn
and let myself be happy
I know that I could be happy by taking that jump
Feeling the exhiliration of the descent
Tomorrow I will climb the mountain again
And convince myself to jump
I set my resolve, and agreed to finally do it
Nothing was going to turn me away
I was going to give up the resistance and let it happen
I got the call around 11:20 in the evening
She said, "We need to talk."
I hemmed and I hawwed and I gave in
I climed the mountain to the apex
I checked my parachute one last time
Made sure it was firmly attached to my body
I sent up a prayer for a safe landing
We laid our cards out on the table
Got it all out in the air
Discussed how we felt about each other
I approached the edge of the cliff
Felt the wind rushing through my hair
Readied myself for takeoff...
...and backed down
I talked myself in circles around the issues
She told me everything I wanted, needed to hear...
...and I couldn't committ
I skulked away from the cliff, defeated
Felt the blood in my veins settle
Lowered my chin in defeat
I couldn't make the jump that I had waited for
I did not trust myself enough to tell her how I really feel
I did not explain to her how badly I wanted to say yes
I did not allow myself to be happy
People told me not to climb that mountain
They said that it is much too dangerous
much too unstable
not firm enough to launch myself from
In the end, the only one that won is them
Those who placed the doubt in my mind
Those who told me it wouldn't work
Those who told me she wasn't ready
Those who don't want me to be happy
I'm kicking myself for not going through with it
I brought myself to tears realizing that I hadn't changed
I've always been afraid to let myself be happy
I realize now that I haven't changed at all
That mountain will always be too high for me
I need to forget about what they say
what they warn
and let myself be happy
I know that I could be happy by taking that jump
Feeling the exhiliration of the descent
Tomorrow I will climb the mountain again
And convince myself to jump