Like the phoenix rising from the ashes
Thank you everyone for your warm comments to my post yesterday. It's good to know that ya'll still remembered that I was alive! I feel like I owe everyone a short novella to read to make up for the lost time. Where to begin...
This last four months of my life have been the most trying four months I have ever gone through. Things ranged from over-stress to depression to over-time-committed...not very fun. I was able to pull through my first semester of grad school with a 3.5 though, although, it DID require withdrawing from a class (the petition is still pending).
I said earlier that I suffered some depression...I'm not sure if it would be clinically diagnosed, but it'd have to be a dense doctor to not diagnose it. I had no energy to do anything that even resembled fun, pulled away from most of my friends, rarely left my dorm room (even to attend class), and lived on the bare-bones essentials and racking up debt. Things seem to be better now, though. My mindset has changed a little, I have found a great group of guys that I am becoming very close to, I'm regularly attending my classes now, and have even ventured out into what you earthlings call sunlight.
Women suck. Well, actually, I should just say that matters of the heart suck. One girl (the one that I wrote the poem about) kept stringing me along, and would only express an interest in me when it seemed (to me) to be convenient for her, but when she did, it was a deep interest. It was just enough to confuse the hell out of me and aid me sinking further into my fits of depression. There's now this one girl that I am starting to get to know, and slowly develop an attraction to, but I doubt anything will come of that. There is another girl that I have been attracted to since the beginning of the fall semester, but I have never been able to build up the courage to ask her out, and she is now getting VERY close to a friend of mine, so I can see that nothing is going to happen there. That hurts, but it's my own fault.
On dorm life. I love living in Viking Hall, and now that I've calmed down a little bit and have allowed myself to talk to more people, I'm finding that there are a lot of great people living in the same building as me. I hope to be able to build some nice friendships out of all that.
On fraternities. My entire undergraduate career (6 years), I never thought I was cool enough to join a fraternity. It was over winter break this year that I realized that it doesn't matter whether you are Joe Cool or not. I have started talking to a bunch of guys from one of the fraternities here, and am in the process of joining their brotherhood. One good thing about it is that I bring age, wisdom, and experience to the bunch. It's actually amazing to see the age range of the active members of this fraternity. The active members range from 18 to 40+. I can see myself fitting in real well with them. Hopefully everything will go well there.
On communication. Now that I have received my student loan refund check, I have been able to catch up on my past-due bills, and have finally got a new cell phone. If you want the number, feel free to e-mail me. I'll try to set up LJ to let you text me from my info screen.
All in all, life is going better than it was, but it isn't quite as good as it could be yet. Hopefully the matters of the heart will settle down and I will find a girl that I can be truly happy with, and that we can build a meaningful relationship together. School should go well this semester, so I look forward to another successful term.
I am sorry that I had not posted much in the fall, but I hope to correct that and post more regularly now. I have missed all of you very much, and hope that everything is going well with all of you!
This last four months of my life have been the most trying four months I have ever gone through. Things ranged from over-stress to depression to over-time-committed...not very fun. I was able to pull through my first semester of grad school with a 3.5 though, although, it DID require withdrawing from a class (the petition is still pending).
I said earlier that I suffered some depression...I'm not sure if it would be clinically diagnosed, but it'd have to be a dense doctor to not diagnose it. I had no energy to do anything that even resembled fun, pulled away from most of my friends, rarely left my dorm room (even to attend class), and lived on the bare-bones essentials and racking up debt. Things seem to be better now, though. My mindset has changed a little, I have found a great group of guys that I am becoming very close to, I'm regularly attending my classes now, and have even ventured out into what you earthlings call sunlight.
Women suck. Well, actually, I should just say that matters of the heart suck. One girl (the one that I wrote the poem about) kept stringing me along, and would only express an interest in me when it seemed (to me) to be convenient for her, but when she did, it was a deep interest. It was just enough to confuse the hell out of me and aid me sinking further into my fits of depression. There's now this one girl that I am starting to get to know, and slowly develop an attraction to, but I doubt anything will come of that. There is another girl that I have been attracted to since the beginning of the fall semester, but I have never been able to build up the courage to ask her out, and she is now getting VERY close to a friend of mine, so I can see that nothing is going to happen there. That hurts, but it's my own fault.
On dorm life. I love living in Viking Hall, and now that I've calmed down a little bit and have allowed myself to talk to more people, I'm finding that there are a lot of great people living in the same building as me. I hope to be able to build some nice friendships out of all that.
On fraternities. My entire undergraduate career (6 years), I never thought I was cool enough to join a fraternity. It was over winter break this year that I realized that it doesn't matter whether you are Joe Cool or not. I have started talking to a bunch of guys from one of the fraternities here, and am in the process of joining their brotherhood. One good thing about it is that I bring age, wisdom, and experience to the bunch. It's actually amazing to see the age range of the active members of this fraternity. The active members range from 18 to 40+. I can see myself fitting in real well with them. Hopefully everything will go well there.
On communication. Now that I have received my student loan refund check, I have been able to catch up on my past-due bills, and have finally got a new cell phone. If you want the number, feel free to e-mail me. I'll try to set up LJ to let you text me from my info screen.
All in all, life is going better than it was, but it isn't quite as good as it could be yet. Hopefully the matters of the heart will settle down and I will find a girl that I can be truly happy with, and that we can build a meaningful relationship together. School should go well this semester, so I look forward to another successful term.
I am sorry that I had not posted much in the fall, but I hope to correct that and post more regularly now. I have missed all of you very much, and hope that everything is going well with all of you!