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[iyaaalilbro]

So, after a quick laugh when thinking of ways to pimp, I'm going to share a few reasons as to why We Don't Talk About the Chrno Crusade Anime. These are all off the top of my head, so I may have forgotten some of the lesser evils. . .

• Rosette abuses, uses, and hits Azmaria a lot.


• Chrno does not top. . . Ever. This is inherently wrong.


• Rosette, as a nun, dressed up as a sexy Santa. She also wears a burlap sack for an entire episode.


• Satella claims the worst treatment award after being raped by Aion. -This is not a hyperbole. There are hands places that hands should not go unless someone is willing and not chained to the wall of a cave.


• Aion also has a mindless slave that worships him as the Devil and wears next to no clothing.


• Joshua confuses Fiore for his sister. He also does not smack Jenai for hurting Fiore, but instead rushes to comfort and hug her.


• Rather than [having a demon's spine infused into his body], Remington is an angel.


• Shader dresses up in a comedic and large cat costume then dances and sings around at the bungalow the night before Shit Goes Down.


• On Shit Going Down, the plan in the manga was [to collect all of the Apostles and use their power to kill Pandaemonium]. In the anime, Aion collects the Apostles to awaken another "martyr" to lead and conquer the world. I can't remember the exact term for it.


• Clichely enough, Mary was a former martyr and Rosette as her reincarnation bears the same ability. This leads to Aion abducting Rosette, after a quick make-out, and parading her around town while she is brainwashed.


• Instead of blowing Chrno in half, Joshua instead stabs him after a quick aerial battle. Chrno gets back at him by ripping his horns off before he turns to stone.


• Chrno is restored from being a statue by a kiss from Mary's spirit. . . That has been reincarnated. . . Into Rosette.


• This creates the duo of the later half of the series: Chrno and Azmaria. This is not sudden as Azmaria steals Rosette's thunder easily as the more moe and redeemable of the two throughout the series.


• After losing the horns, Joshua forgets everything about his life, before and during the horns. He reverts to being mentally eleven while being in the body of a fifteen year old.


• Fiore abducts Joshua after the Magdalen Order takes him in. She claims to be his sister.


• The fight between Satella and Fiore occurs in another dimension while Chrno and Azmaria make off with Joshua. Instead of [freezing herself in stone with Fiore], Satella kills Fiore then dies of injuries from the battle.


• Rosette, while brainwashed, demands for Chrno to return her life at gunpoint. Eventually, the fight dissolves into Rosette breaking the hold, and Chrno and Rosette killing Aion together.


• They die together shortly thereafter in some abandoned shack that they spend the last of their days at. There is too much to cover, so if you want to know how divergent this is from the manga, I suggest you read it.


• Azmaria grows up to become a nun of the Magdalen Order in the image of Rosette. While cute, Azmaria would likely accidentally shoot herself in the foot.


• Apparently not dead, Aion goes on to kill the Pope while Remington is visiting the Vatican then cause the Depression. Sorry to steal your thunder, Hyuuga.

YEAH. YEAH, I DON'T KNOW EITHER.