(no subject)
Okay. . . I think I can get this down.
Now, Joshua came to camp in a year and a half ago. He arrived to a huge culture shock considering what he'd been raised with for the past four years with the Sinners. To cut it short, he was a spoiled brat who got to hobo up on couch while he waited for his sister to come to him. Yes, he did a few things to pull her closer, but, really, he just kept tabs on what Aion was up to and involved himself when he could. In the time that he's spent in camp, he's had to learn to think for himself and how to deal with people. . . Which was completely new as he'd never really interacted with a living human since he came to be with the Sinners. He has come a long way, but it never really meant anything to him. As I stated before, Joshua could not understand or allow camp to mean anything to him, because he knew that as soon as Aion came to get him, or camp set him free, he would end up going forward with the plan Aion had sent which would lead to his eventual death.
However, a lot has happened in camp! He thought he found his sister then lost her, he saw Chrno again and developed a complex towards him too, along with being led around and leading others around with some of his core matters. Not all as Joshua never tells anyone about the death or genocide issues though. Joshua kept a lot of this under lock and key while having Fiore to confide in. Canonically, if Joshua has a problem, then he talks to Fiore about it and whatever advice she gives. . . He follows. Joshua trusts Fiore faithfully. (APP MY MAID, GUYS. D:) Now, Fiore has left camp which Joshua is a little better at coping with than he did before she was in camp as he's had a year and a half to sort of learn to stand on his own feet. While basic functions are beyond his grasp right now, Joshua has learned enough to keep himself alive in camp which comes before being able to eat or sleep in the long run. Then. . . Chrno came! It was a second chance to finally do what he needed to! If it weren't for the issue that Joshua just can not outsmart Chrno which is reminding Joshua of just why he never did kill him before, not for lack of trying, no. So, camp is being a bitch to Joshua, essentially, and he takes great issue with it. He's very vulnerable right now and defensive of the fact. Joshua won't even sleep in his own shack- That's how shaken he is.
So, to get closer to the point, Joshua went to Rui and just pondered what camp is to him. It was a stray tangent thought that was just fussing at him, and Joshua never minds a good intellectual discussion, especially when someone can hold up the other end of the conversation well, even without audible words. After tossing some Hamlet, Cummings, Dickinson, and Neruda around. . . Rui managed to succinctly make his point and give Joshua a new poem to memorize. While it can overlap Joshua's life as a whole, which will take so much longer to suss out than just this, the fact is that Rui said the time in camp matters and Joshua actually listened to this. It helped that Fiore said something similar to Joshua months ago, though not as overreaching. In camp, Joshua has time. More than that, he has a life- An honest, completely normal life. Well, in as much as Joshua's life is ever normal. He can make whatever he wants of his time in camp, because there is nothing pressing on him right now. Joshua doesn't have to worry about his impending death or the fact that he's bringing about genocide to the planet. He can't even reach his sister as much as that fact hurts him. While he still has to deal with his body and his mind being tampered with like it is. . . Compared to the fact that he essentially has a clean break where he can forge his own fate in camp, it's an incredibly good deal.
Before anyone jumps to any assumptions- No, Joshua has no plans of turning on or running from Aion, or giving up on his sister. These things will happen, but he has been in camp so long that he knows that it's not just going to happen anytime soon. Besides, Joshua waited four years, while keeping his allegiance with Aion, for his sister. . . What's another few years when he still can't do anything about it? He will still miss her a lot, wishes she was with him, and carries the gun of the girl that might really have been her, but that's about all he can do. However, after all of that, there is a lot left and a lot that doesn't come into bearing with camp. What it boils down to is that Joshua is going to go with this idea. He's going to treat camp as another life and do what he wants with it.
What does all this mean? Well, Joshua is taking a lot of time to think on it and slowly pushing at it all to see what exactly he wants. It's second nature for Joshua to set aside whatever he wants in light of adversity, so that the last time he wanted something was his childish wish of seeing the world and writing a book on all the strange things he sees. . . Which he has been following in camp already! It was out of sheer boredom, but he's going to pursue it strongly now while he still ponders everything out. The idea of what he wants to do with his life is just as daunting an idea for Joshua as it is for any person, after all. Perhaps even more so. As for his interactions, well, Joshua seems to be leaning to be more honest to others. Truly, he's a quiet and withdrawn person in reality rather than what most people see on surface level, because he's been acting so people will see what he wants them to see to a certain extent. There's a lot beneath the surface, however, and he's going to stop hiding it for the most part, I think. As aforementioned, it's a gradual process! It's changing a year and a half's worth of habits, so it will take time. I can already feel that Joshua is likely not going to want to deal with a whole host of people who could take advantage of his situation. He is processing and does not want to deal with people who can fuss him while he's doing it. (Pro-tip: Fuss him.) As for laying low. . .
The Chrno problem! Joshua sincerely wants him dead for a host of perfectly logical reasons in his mind! However, he is in a weak spot, so perhaps. . . Trying to take on one's mortal enemy in such a place at such a time is not in the best interest of baby angel demons. It doesn't mean he won't rackle at the thought, but he can't afford to expel his energy trying to kill Chrno and end up getting killed in the process by Chrno or another. I'm not saying Joshua is not self possessed enough not to try to claw his face off if he crosses him, but he will make an honest effort to just lay low on his own. It's not truce; it's a regrouping to strategize how to get this done right at last.
Okay, I'm good. As always, thoughts, questions, and commentaries. I am thrilled to be getting to play with something like this, guys, so talk to me nowww.
Now, Joshua came to camp in a year and a half ago. He arrived to a huge culture shock considering what he'd been raised with for the past four years with the Sinners. To cut it short, he was a spoiled brat who got to hobo up on couch while he waited for his sister to come to him. Yes, he did a few things to pull her closer, but, really, he just kept tabs on what Aion was up to and involved himself when he could. In the time that he's spent in camp, he's had to learn to think for himself and how to deal with people. . . Which was completely new as he'd never really interacted with a living human since he came to be with the Sinners. He has come a long way, but it never really meant anything to him. As I stated before, Joshua could not understand or allow camp to mean anything to him, because he knew that as soon as Aion came to get him, or camp set him free, he would end up going forward with the plan Aion had sent which would lead to his eventual death.
However, a lot has happened in camp! He thought he found his sister then lost her, he saw Chrno again and developed a complex towards him too, along with being led around and leading others around with some of his core matters. Not all as Joshua never tells anyone about the death or genocide issues though. Joshua kept a lot of this under lock and key while having Fiore to confide in. Canonically, if Joshua has a problem, then he talks to Fiore about it and whatever advice she gives. . . He follows. Joshua trusts Fiore faithfully. (APP MY MAID, GUYS. D:) Now, Fiore has left camp which Joshua is a little better at coping with than he did before she was in camp as he's had a year and a half to sort of learn to stand on his own feet. While basic functions are beyond his grasp right now, Joshua has learned enough to keep himself alive in camp which comes before being able to eat or sleep in the long run. Then. . . Chrno came! It was a second chance to finally do what he needed to! If it weren't for the issue that Joshua just can not outsmart Chrno which is reminding Joshua of just why he never did kill him before, not for lack of trying, no. So, camp is being a bitch to Joshua, essentially, and he takes great issue with it. He's very vulnerable right now and defensive of the fact. Joshua won't even sleep in his own shack- That's how shaken he is.
So, to get closer to the point, Joshua went to Rui and just pondered what camp is to him. It was a stray tangent thought that was just fussing at him, and Joshua never minds a good intellectual discussion, especially when someone can hold up the other end of the conversation well, even without audible words. After tossing some Hamlet, Cummings, Dickinson, and Neruda around. . . Rui managed to succinctly make his point and give Joshua a new poem to memorize. While it can overlap Joshua's life as a whole, which will take so much longer to suss out than just this, the fact is that Rui said the time in camp matters and Joshua actually listened to this. It helped that Fiore said something similar to Joshua months ago, though not as overreaching. In camp, Joshua has time. More than that, he has a life- An honest, completely normal life. Well, in as much as Joshua's life is ever normal. He can make whatever he wants of his time in camp, because there is nothing pressing on him right now. Joshua doesn't have to worry about his impending death or the fact that he's bringing about genocide to the planet. He can't even reach his sister as much as that fact hurts him. While he still has to deal with his body and his mind being tampered with like it is. . . Compared to the fact that he essentially has a clean break where he can forge his own fate in camp, it's an incredibly good deal.
Before anyone jumps to any assumptions- No, Joshua has no plans of turning on or running from Aion, or giving up on his sister. These things will happen, but he has been in camp so long that he knows that it's not just going to happen anytime soon. Besides, Joshua waited four years, while keeping his allegiance with Aion, for his sister. . . What's another few years when he still can't do anything about it? He will still miss her a lot, wishes she was with him, and carries the gun of the girl that might really have been her, but that's about all he can do. However, after all of that, there is a lot left and a lot that doesn't come into bearing with camp. What it boils down to is that Joshua is going to go with this idea. He's going to treat camp as another life and do what he wants with it.
What does all this mean? Well, Joshua is taking a lot of time to think on it and slowly pushing at it all to see what exactly he wants. It's second nature for Joshua to set aside whatever he wants in light of adversity, so that the last time he wanted something was his childish wish of seeing the world and writing a book on all the strange things he sees. . . Which he has been following in camp already! It was out of sheer boredom, but he's going to pursue it strongly now while he still ponders everything out. The idea of what he wants to do with his life is just as daunting an idea for Joshua as it is for any person, after all. Perhaps even more so. As for his interactions, well, Joshua seems to be leaning to be more honest to others. Truly, he's a quiet and withdrawn person in reality rather than what most people see on surface level, because he's been acting so people will see what he wants them to see to a certain extent. There's a lot beneath the surface, however, and he's going to stop hiding it for the most part, I think. As aforementioned, it's a gradual process! It's changing a year and a half's worth of habits, so it will take time. I can already feel that Joshua is likely not going to want to deal with a whole host of people who could take advantage of his situation. He is processing and does not want to deal with people who can fuss him while he's doing it. (Pro-tip: Fuss him.) As for laying low. . .
The Chrno problem! Joshua sincerely wants him dead for a host of perfectly logical reasons in his mind! However, he is in a weak spot, so perhaps. . . Trying to take on one's mortal enemy in such a place at such a time is not in the best interest of baby angel demons. It doesn't mean he won't rackle at the thought, but he can't afford to expel his energy trying to kill Chrno and end up getting killed in the process by Chrno or another. I'm not saying Joshua is not self possessed enough not to try to claw his face off if he crosses him, but he will make an honest effort to just lay low on his own. It's not truce; it's a regrouping to strategize how to get this done right at last.
Okay, I'm good. As always, thoughts, questions, and commentaries. I am thrilled to be getting to play with something like this, guys, so talk to me nowww.