..just had an interesting phone call..made me write this
It hurts to love
I love to hurt
It hurts to love you
You love to hurt me
I hurt to love you
hurt me again
The definition of marriage is a legal union between a husband and a wife. So why do people get married? I think there are several reasons.
1. They both deeply love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.
2. Some 18 year old guy got his 16 year old girlfriend pregnant so to satisfy his girlfriend’s parents he marries her, to later end in a nasty divorce.
3. They meet up in Las Vegas, see a Little White Chapel, and think “Gee, that’s a church, hey your kinda hot, lets get married.”
4. Some lonely, depressed, 40 year old marries a mail order bride to have her use his money, get him into major debt, then eventually leave him for the bellboy.
5. Two lonely people = two lonely people together.
6. The idea is flattering, no matter how jerky the guy is.
I can think of numerous more reasons as to why people get married, but I think I gave a sufficient amount to get my point across. I would like to think that people get married for reason number 1, however, I believe that is not the case many times. Through my life experiences, and watching other people I have come to the conclusion that sex, is a major factor. I’m not talking in the sense of “I want to tap her so bad, but she wants to wait until we get married, so why not marry her? We can get divorced in a week” (although, this could be number 7). I’m talking in the sense of sexual desire clouding judgment. I know everyone has been there once in their lifetime. It is different for everyone. Do you remember helping that good looking guy in chemistry with his lab just so you could sit next to him? Or helping the nice girl with a heavy box? Or going out of your way, so you can give the hot boy/girl a ride home? Yes people, this is all sexual desire. I will note, that there are a few people who are generally nice, and go out of their way a lot of times just to be nice (like me, and some other people I know) without it being a sexual thing. I will admit, I have done these things and others because I wanted them to like me more. I believe everyone does at least once or twice in their lifetime.
Back to the issue at hand, because of this disillusioned idea of boy liking girl and visa versa, people generally don’t take into consideration a lot of things. They are too busy allowing their emotions to lead the way, instead of applying logic. Love is not an emotion people. Love is an action. I believe all relationships start out with infatuation and eventually either turns into love, or the relationship ends. There are other factors, but I'll skip that.
People tend to think with emotion rather than logic, and this is why many marriages end in divorce. Many people rush into marriage without fully knowing the person. Seriously, how good can you know a person that you have known for a 6 months? Really. Say you are 21 and just got engaged after knowing the guy/girl for 6 months. That means 20 and 1/2 years of your life did not include them. Most relationships take about 7 months to find out who the person really is. Many want desperately for the person they are seeing to like them more so much that they change themselves in the process. But no one wants to be someone they aren’t. It eventually does catch up on you. This is where you get the “you were different when we first started going out”.
Here is my simple solution to all marriages. I think the federal government should pass a law making it impossible to get married without signing a lot of papers. As a friend once told me (he works at a divorce attorney’s office), ”If people who wanted to get married had to file as many papers as someone who got divorced, there would be less marriages ending in divorce.” This is because in order to file all those papers, you must spend a great deal of time going over them. This allows you to think deeply about getting married, such as “is this really worth all this work” etc. Secondly, I believe there should be mandatory sessions with a relationship counselor. Now, I’m not big on therapists or counselors but sometimes they can shed light on problems and issues. All I’m saying is, marriage isn’t something Barbie and Ken showed with their perfect plastic images. Marriage is something sacred, that should be for someone who is committed for their lifetime to the other person.
phew.
:/
I love to hurt
It hurts to love you
You love to hurt me
I hurt to love you
hurt me again
The definition of marriage is a legal union between a husband and a wife. So why do people get married? I think there are several reasons.
1. They both deeply love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.
2. Some 18 year old guy got his 16 year old girlfriend pregnant so to satisfy his girlfriend’s parents he marries her, to later end in a nasty divorce.
3. They meet up in Las Vegas, see a Little White Chapel, and think “Gee, that’s a church, hey your kinda hot, lets get married.”
4. Some lonely, depressed, 40 year old marries a mail order bride to have her use his money, get him into major debt, then eventually leave him for the bellboy.
5. Two lonely people = two lonely people together.
6. The idea is flattering, no matter how jerky the guy is.
I can think of numerous more reasons as to why people get married, but I think I gave a sufficient amount to get my point across. I would like to think that people get married for reason number 1, however, I believe that is not the case many times. Through my life experiences, and watching other people I have come to the conclusion that sex, is a major factor. I’m not talking in the sense of “I want to tap her so bad, but she wants to wait until we get married, so why not marry her? We can get divorced in a week” (although, this could be number 7). I’m talking in the sense of sexual desire clouding judgment. I know everyone has been there once in their lifetime. It is different for everyone. Do you remember helping that good looking guy in chemistry with his lab just so you could sit next to him? Or helping the nice girl with a heavy box? Or going out of your way, so you can give the hot boy/girl a ride home? Yes people, this is all sexual desire. I will note, that there are a few people who are generally nice, and go out of their way a lot of times just to be nice (like me, and some other people I know) without it being a sexual thing. I will admit, I have done these things and others because I wanted them to like me more. I believe everyone does at least once or twice in their lifetime.
Back to the issue at hand, because of this disillusioned idea of boy liking girl and visa versa, people generally don’t take into consideration a lot of things. They are too busy allowing their emotions to lead the way, instead of applying logic. Love is not an emotion people. Love is an action. I believe all relationships start out with infatuation and eventually either turns into love, or the relationship ends. There are other factors, but I'll skip that.
People tend to think with emotion rather than logic, and this is why many marriages end in divorce. Many people rush into marriage without fully knowing the person. Seriously, how good can you know a person that you have known for a 6 months? Really. Say you are 21 and just got engaged after knowing the guy/girl for 6 months. That means 20 and 1/2 years of your life did not include them. Most relationships take about 7 months to find out who the person really is. Many want desperately for the person they are seeing to like them more so much that they change themselves in the process. But no one wants to be someone they aren’t. It eventually does catch up on you. This is where you get the “you were different when we first started going out”.
Here is my simple solution to all marriages. I think the federal government should pass a law making it impossible to get married without signing a lot of papers. As a friend once told me (he works at a divorce attorney’s office), ”If people who wanted to get married had to file as many papers as someone who got divorced, there would be less marriages ending in divorce.” This is because in order to file all those papers, you must spend a great deal of time going over them. This allows you to think deeply about getting married, such as “is this really worth all this work” etc. Secondly, I believe there should be mandatory sessions with a relationship counselor. Now, I’m not big on therapists or counselors but sometimes they can shed light on problems and issues. All I’m saying is, marriage isn’t something Barbie and Ken showed with their perfect plastic images. Marriage is something sacred, that should be for someone who is committed for their lifetime to the other person.
phew.
:/