WhAt'S WrOnG wiTh Me?
It's like 10 something and I should probably get into bed. I've been working mornings at the coffee shop from 5:45 to 1:30.
It's actually pretty cool. The morning shifts are the best because it goes by so fast and I make pretty good tips. I'm lovin the job! I'm really starting to get used to it over here and it's growing on me. I'm not sure if I'm gonna move back or not or if I'll stick it out here and see what life brings my way.
I've been changing lately about my views of life and responsibility and relationships. It's extremely confusing because I have next to no idea of how to deal with it. Being out here alomst on my own makes me see life for the thing that it really is and makes me realize that I've got some growing to do. I'm so petrified that I'm going to change dramatically and fall out of love with Eric. I was so sure that things were meant to be between us but now it seems as if they are changing even without us knowing it.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do about him or what I'm going to do about other serious issues that are being brought my way.
I desperately want to run away and hide under a rock until all of the odd feelings vanish from within me. I want all the obstacles to be mere games instead of battles. WHY DO THINGS HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT?!?!?!
It's as if God is giving me tests back to back until I master a skill. I just don't feel so confident about anything anymore, mainly just relationships and the adult life. Don't you just miss the carefree days of being a child or a adolescent? Life seemed so peachy. What the hell happened?! I might sound all over the place but all of these feelings and thought are flowing through me and I don't know how to get them out.
What makes everything worse is that i feel like God is so far away. I haven't had any one-on-one time with Him lately and that's realy affecting me. It seems that even when I ask for His help, it just seems so much harder to do. I hate to admit this but the Devil's way looks so much easier and more appealing sometimes. I kinow that I'm being lured and distracted but its hard to turn my cheek.
I NEED SOMETHING! ANYTHING!
I feel like I couldn't even qualify as a Christian anymore. That hurts to think that but its true. What do we fall away? What could possibly get our attention more than God? It seems to overpower me a lot lately and I'm sick of it but too scared to stand up against it.
It's actually pretty cool. The morning shifts are the best because it goes by so fast and I make pretty good tips. I'm lovin the job! I'm really starting to get used to it over here and it's growing on me. I'm not sure if I'm gonna move back or not or if I'll stick it out here and see what life brings my way.
I've been changing lately about my views of life and responsibility and relationships. It's extremely confusing because I have next to no idea of how to deal with it. Being out here alomst on my own makes me see life for the thing that it really is and makes me realize that I've got some growing to do. I'm so petrified that I'm going to change dramatically and fall out of love with Eric. I was so sure that things were meant to be between us but now it seems as if they are changing even without us knowing it.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do about him or what I'm going to do about other serious issues that are being brought my way.
I desperately want to run away and hide under a rock until all of the odd feelings vanish from within me. I want all the obstacles to be mere games instead of battles. WHY DO THINGS HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT?!?!?!
It's as if God is giving me tests back to back until I master a skill. I just don't feel so confident about anything anymore, mainly just relationships and the adult life. Don't you just miss the carefree days of being a child or a adolescent? Life seemed so peachy. What the hell happened?! I might sound all over the place but all of these feelings and thought are flowing through me and I don't know how to get them out.
What makes everything worse is that i feel like God is so far away. I haven't had any one-on-one time with Him lately and that's realy affecting me. It seems that even when I ask for His help, it just seems so much harder to do. I hate to admit this but the Devil's way looks so much easier and more appealing sometimes. I kinow that I'm being lured and distracted but its hard to turn my cheek.
I NEED SOMETHING! ANYTHING!
I feel like I couldn't even qualify as a Christian anymore. That hurts to think that but its true. What do we fall away? What could possibly get our attention more than God? It seems to overpower me a lot lately and I'm sick of it but too scared to stand up against it.