I've Messed Up Today...
I tried to hold Joel's hand, because he was picking at his scabs. He pulled away and left for awhile. I felt really bad, I was really scared that he didn't like me anymore.
Then, when we went to bed he gave me some clean pajamas so I could sit on his bed with him. We hugged, and he even kissed me! I was very surprised. It's weird, because he doesn't like me touching his hands but I can touch his face. I felt his cheek :D.
Adam made me really sad earlier tonight too. I laughed at him, but not meanly!! Oh I felt so bad, he yelled at me! It was weird though, because after that, he wanted to make out with me. I didn't want to upset him so I said "ok." When he sat on my lap I had to pull away. I couldn't make out with him when I like Joel...so I told him so. I feel kinda proud. But then at the moment I was really really upset because he left, calling us a bore. I went to talk to him to tell him I was sorry. Yeah...
I tried getting sleeping pills from Dr. Timmeh but he wouldn't give them to me. I wish someone would just give one to me! I've been turned down by two doctors...two! Oh well. Life goes on, I hope.
So far I've been able to avoid Patrick. I really hope I don't run in to him, he was really mean to Conor today. Really mean. I don't even want to talk about it.
I really should be getting to bed. I'm sorta tired, but not really. Ok goodnight.
Then, when we went to bed he gave me some clean pajamas so I could sit on his bed with him. We hugged, and he even kissed me! I was very surprised. It's weird, because he doesn't like me touching his hands but I can touch his face. I felt his cheek :D.
Adam made me really sad earlier tonight too. I laughed at him, but not meanly!! Oh I felt so bad, he yelled at me! It was weird though, because after that, he wanted to make out with me. I didn't want to upset him so I said "ok." When he sat on my lap I had to pull away. I couldn't make out with him when I like Joel...so I told him so. I feel kinda proud. But then at the moment I was really really upset because he left, calling us a bore. I went to talk to him to tell him I was sorry. Yeah...
I tried getting sleeping pills from Dr. Timmeh but he wouldn't give them to me. I wish someone would just give one to me! I've been turned down by two doctors...two! Oh well. Life goes on, I hope.
So far I've been able to avoid Patrick. I really hope I don't run in to him, he was really mean to Conor today. Really mean. I don't even want to talk about it.
I really should be getting to bed. I'm sorta tired, but not really. Ok goodnight.