I'm just so happy!! Happy happy happy...
(Private post)
Let's see here. Yesterday I tried getting out of this whole place. Saw the stairs to the basement, the black down at the bottom looked quite inviting. Perhaps I will visit that place again...in secret of course. Joel followed me and found me before I could do anything. I just wish he would have stayed in the bedroom like I begged him to.
How did all that come around? Joel wanted to go home. I wasn't mad, not in the least. He needs to be happy and he's not happy here. I'm not being a good boyfriend. I'm not paying enough attention to him. He told me he had to let me go because he's holding me back and he needs to go home. Like a little bitch, I freaked out and whatnot. So we were in the corridor, and I was demanding him to leave...to go back to the room so that I could take care of my business. Turns out he went back but then turned around and found me.
Just my luck right? Fuck it all to hell. I'm getting tired of this all. I've talked to Dr. Mandy...this isn't gonna work. Not now, not tomorrow, or any day after. I just wanna fuckin' die already, but now that Joel's staying and he wants me back I have to keep my promise.
How sad is that phrase, "Joel wants me back." It's like I come crawling back to him no matter what. I'm not knocking him in any way, I couldn't do that. I love him way too much to EVER talk negative things about him. I'm a pathetic waste of skin, breath, life, soul. That's what I mean. Fuck you Benji, you aren't worth anything....anything whatsoever.
(End private post)
Life's good, I'm happy...considering yesterday's slipup. Just a minor thing. Goodnight all!! :D
Let's see here. Yesterday I tried getting out of this whole place. Saw the stairs to the basement, the black down at the bottom looked quite inviting. Perhaps I will visit that place again...in secret of course. Joel followed me and found me before I could do anything. I just wish he would have stayed in the bedroom like I begged him to.
How did all that come around? Joel wanted to go home. I wasn't mad, not in the least. He needs to be happy and he's not happy here. I'm not being a good boyfriend. I'm not paying enough attention to him. He told me he had to let me go because he's holding me back and he needs to go home. Like a little bitch, I freaked out and whatnot. So we were in the corridor, and I was demanding him to leave...to go back to the room so that I could take care of my business. Turns out he went back but then turned around and found me.
Just my luck right? Fuck it all to hell. I'm getting tired of this all. I've talked to Dr. Mandy...this isn't gonna work. Not now, not tomorrow, or any day after. I just wanna fuckin' die already, but now that Joel's staying and he wants me back I have to keep my promise.
How sad is that phrase, "Joel wants me back." It's like I come crawling back to him no matter what. I'm not knocking him in any way, I couldn't do that. I love him way too much to EVER talk negative things about him. I'm a pathetic waste of skin, breath, life, soul. That's what I mean. Fuck you Benji, you aren't worth anything....anything whatsoever.
(End private post)
Life's good, I'm happy...considering yesterday's slipup. Just a minor thing. Goodnight all!! :D