"jesus christ, the girl's trying. but god- she's forgotten how to breathe."
people like me do not, in any way, deserve anything that they have. i feel like such a shitty person yet i have amazing friends and a pretty good family for the most part to suport me. i'm lucky enough to have a home, money, and on paper, everything seems peachy. but there are just these times when i want someone to come kick me in the face to remind me that life isn't always going to go so well and to just appreciate what i have.
but i can't. because i'm selfish and i dont feel happy and i'm always looking for something else when i don't need anything else.
ugh. i just feel so horrible these days and i'm sick of pretending like i don't. and its not like i dont like the way things are, but i just wish i could leave and never have to look back. i want to go as far as i can and forget how much it would hurt to leave it all behind.
but i can't. because i'm selfish and i dont feel happy and i'm always looking for something else when i don't need anything else.
ugh. i just feel so horrible these days and i'm sick of pretending like i don't. and its not like i dont like the way things are, but i just wish i could leave and never have to look back. i want to go as far as i can and forget how much it would hurt to leave it all behind.