WHY
WHY...SOMEONE TELL ME WHY..HOW AND WHEN THIS HAPPEND...I WISH I COULD WAKE UP AND BE 6 AGAIN...OR 9...HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO HIMSELF....HE HAD EVERYTHING....EVERYTHING...THE JOB OF A LIFETIME...DOING WHAT HE DREAMT OF HIS WHOLE LIFE...MAKING MONEY YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED A GUY FROM THE SLUMS OF TRINIDAD WAS CAPABLE OF...A FAMILY THAT LOVED HIM UNCONDITINALLY...THE WORLD WAS HIS TO DO WHAT HE WANTED IN IT...AND LITTERALY I WAKE UP ONE DAY AND ALL OF A SUDDEN ITS GONE...ITS BEEN YEARS BUT IT FEELS LIKE ITS HAPPEND SO FAST...I CANT LOOK AT A 747 AND NOT THINK OF HIM...WHEN IM FLYING IN A CESSNA I HAVE TO KEEP THE TEARS BACK...WHEN I SEE AN AVIATION MAGAZINE I CANT TAKE IT BECAUSE I REMEMBER HIM SITTING DOWN ON THE COUCH READING THE SAME ONE...MY MUSIC...ELVIS...INDIAN MUSIC...ANY OLDIE...THE EAGLES...ELTON JOHN...CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL....HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH...I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT...I CANT FOCUS ON THE SONG...I THINK OF ONE THING...ONE PICTURE...AND THATS HIM...IN THE COCKPIT OF A 747 IN HIS UNIFORM...THE SCARY THING IS...THE PART I CANT TAKE IS...HE HAD EVERYTHING I WANT...EVERYTHING I DREAM OF BEING...AND ACCOMPLISHING...AND THE SICK PART IS...THE SAME WAY HE DID IT...IS THE SAME WAY EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE WORKING OUT FOR ME...NOT IN SCHOOL...GETTING MY GED...FLYING ALL DAY...GETTING A FEW HOURS OF SLEEP IF IM LUCKY...MY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD...EVERYTHING...RIGHT DOWN TO ME PLAYING THE GUITAR...I WOULDNT BE A PILOT...A GUITARIST...MY LOVE FOR MUSIC....NOTHING IF IT WASNT FOR HIM...WHY....WHY DID IT HAVE TO END UP LIKE THIS...I JUST WISH FOR ONE MOMENT....I COULD BE BACK ON THE GOLF COURSE WITH HIM TALKING ABOUT LIFE...WATCHING HIM COOK....TO SEE HIM FLYING A PLANE AND SAY TO MYSELF...WOW..THATS MY DAD...DAD...I HAVENT SAID THAT WORD IN SO LONG...IS DESTINY THIS SICK...FATE...WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT...I WANT TO BE BACK IN THAT TOYOTA TACOMA...VOLUME ON MAX...WINDOWS DOWN...AND WATCH HIM SING HIS HEART OUT...WATCHING HIM PLAY THE GUITAR...WORK ON THE CARS...BUT I'LL NEVER GET THAT BACK...NEVER