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Today started out okay, but then I logged on to the journal system, went to the home page, and checked to see if any birthdays were rolling around...
And HIS name was at the bottom. As if I needed any more reminders. Seeing the 24th still marked on the calendar for the one year anniversary of our engagement is bad enough. If Larxene hadn't ( Read more... )
And HIS name was at the bottom. As if I needed any more reminders. Seeing the 24th still marked on the calendar for the one year anniversary of our engagement is bad enough. If Larxene hadn't ( Read more... )
I can't fight you anymore. You don't want me to try and help you; you won't listen to me, you don't care about anyone but yourself and your own sadness and you have no idea how to cope but won't let anyone help you get through this!
You're not the first person to have loved and lost, and you won't be the last. Stop acting like you're the only person to ever have your heart ripped out, torn to pieces and buried at the bottom of the ocean.
Tip #1: Stop being an asshole
Tip #2: To do tip #1, try to accept that you can't do this alone (that much is freaking obvious) and you need support. Everyone needs it. Won't make you any less of a person to admit that and accept it.
Tip #3: Start accepting that, no matter how much you cry and weigh up shit, it's not going to change anything. You can play "What If..." all you want, it won't change the fact that he's dead. Oh yeah. Fucking dead. As the dodo. And because you can't accept that, you're missing out on something just as good: a young family all your own.
Here, I'll play too: My mother is dead. It took me three years (and then some) to be able to admit that to myself. She's dead. And so is my dad. Both dead. I can tell myself "oh, if I'd only done this, maybe they'd be alive", but it won't change the fact that they're gone and I'm never going to be with them again. It hurts, but what have I got now? I have a man in my life I adore with every piece of my heart, I have friends whom I consider family... and then there's you. Who's just cool enough to get his own spot.
Get how to do it? You're starting to turn out just how I did when I was seventeen, so I guess I just feel compelled to stop you...
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God, Larxene... Can you do me a favor, Riku? Call her and tell her to come take this stuff from me? She's not answering when I call, and if I stand up, it's likely I'm gonna fall over.
... I fucking hate me.
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What, like you think she'll do it? Bitch is steamed. You should know how she gets when she goes off on one...
Don't worry, I fucking hate you too. And I'm pretty sure other people fucking hate you, as well. You're currently disliked, but you're around same-minded folk. It's all good company.
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Well, goddamn, I hope she does SOMETHING. She's always bitching about how she wants me to let her help, well here's her fucking chance.
Fuck, I'm getting pissed at the wrong people. It's not her fault. Not her fault at all.
Nope, can't stand. Fuck.
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