i love him but he inspires me.
well my boyfriend chris. i love him dearly.
we had this huge conversation about how were not sure if we want to be together, if we can be together right now. it took us like 4 hours to decide we really do want to be together. but it kinda had a feel to it like we only said it because the alternative is too painful.
anyway, the day after we have this conversation, i got to his house. its an hour and a half to get there. i walk uo and his whole family is leaving. had i shown up 2 minutes later i would have been sitting outside for like 4 hours.
the reason they were leaving was to go get a parts 3 wheeler so chris could fix up his 3 wheeler he already has. hes sooo exicted about it blah blah. i got stuck watching the dog, that i dont know how to control.
then in 2 days i got to spend like 2 hours before going to sleep, which comsisted of him trying to get me horny so i would have sex with him, and then actualy having sex. and like 20 minutes after we woke up, which consisted of more sexual activies.
so im really frustrated. i was to spend time with my boyfriend and like build a relationship. with all the shit going on and all the shit thats going to happen, ie, him spending 3 months in boot camp where i cant so much as call him, i really dont think we have the foundation to get through it, as much as i wish we did.
but ive gotten 3 songs out of this so far.
2 directly based and one loosely based on our relationship.
i still dont know how to do an LJ cut so ill post them later.
this is all so fuckimg complicated. i wish i knew what to do. like if we could last or not. staying together if its just going to fall apart will only cause that much more pain. but breaking up if we could last would be a huge waste of something amazing.
we talked about this too. *sigh*
all this bullshit and weve only been together like 6 weeks. fucking mother fucker.
i want him to come to my house but he works with his step dad and hes always like "no, we gotta work" even though his brother is just as able bodied, regardless of the state if his liver and never has to do anything. hes partys, comes and goes as he pleases and his parents give him more and buy him booze. all i want is like maybe everyother weekend. id be fucking so happy.
i think onyl jessica with read this when she gets back, maybe angel. id post it on my myspace but then he owuld see it and get mad. fuck.
im basically ranting to myself when i have to wake up in like 6 hours.
we had this huge conversation about how were not sure if we want to be together, if we can be together right now. it took us like 4 hours to decide we really do want to be together. but it kinda had a feel to it like we only said it because the alternative is too painful.
anyway, the day after we have this conversation, i got to his house. its an hour and a half to get there. i walk uo and his whole family is leaving. had i shown up 2 minutes later i would have been sitting outside for like 4 hours.
the reason they were leaving was to go get a parts 3 wheeler so chris could fix up his 3 wheeler he already has. hes sooo exicted about it blah blah. i got stuck watching the dog, that i dont know how to control.
then in 2 days i got to spend like 2 hours before going to sleep, which comsisted of him trying to get me horny so i would have sex with him, and then actualy having sex. and like 20 minutes after we woke up, which consisted of more sexual activies.
so im really frustrated. i was to spend time with my boyfriend and like build a relationship. with all the shit going on and all the shit thats going to happen, ie, him spending 3 months in boot camp where i cant so much as call him, i really dont think we have the foundation to get through it, as much as i wish we did.
but ive gotten 3 songs out of this so far.
2 directly based and one loosely based on our relationship.
i still dont know how to do an LJ cut so ill post them later.
this is all so fuckimg complicated. i wish i knew what to do. like if we could last or not. staying together if its just going to fall apart will only cause that much more pain. but breaking up if we could last would be a huge waste of something amazing.
we talked about this too. *sigh*
all this bullshit and weve only been together like 6 weeks. fucking mother fucker.
i want him to come to my house but he works with his step dad and hes always like "no, we gotta work" even though his brother is just as able bodied, regardless of the state if his liver and never has to do anything. hes partys, comes and goes as he pleases and his parents give him more and buy him booze. all i want is like maybe everyother weekend. id be fucking so happy.
i think onyl jessica with read this when she gets back, maybe angel. id post it on my myspace but then he owuld see it and get mad. fuck.
im basically ranting to myself when i have to wake up in like 6 hours.