'The consonants and vowels.'
Is it my fault that I feel sad for the murderers and thieves and hit-and-runners in the world? I do. I wonder what brought them to do such things. They had to have suffered. A lot. I believe, and I believe very firmly, that nobody is born bad. We are all born into goodness and empathy, small and shining. There's no way to be a bad person without first becoming one. I have invested the whole weight and depth and breadth of my heart in this belief.
Rapists are just a bit harder than the others to feel sad for, though. But that's probably just me.
I don't know. I feel like a bad person for believing what I do. Sometimes I can't bring myself to say certain things, not because I think others will think I'm a terrible person, but because I will too, I genuinely will. Sometimes I understand things I shouldn't understand, and then I am ashamed. But sometimes I like feeling ashamed, I feel healthier, because sometimes I am shockingly empty.
Do not ask me to do math, because I will miscalculate. I can't believe I was recommended for Pre-Calc/Trig. I was amazed and terrified.
But the one thing I still can't understand nor tolerate is shallowness. I despise shallowness. It's a waste of human life, if you ask me, but you didn't, and besides, everything is relative anyway, and there are very few things in the world that aren't.
I hate it when you think you had a lot to say, but you really didn't; and when you think you had just a little to say but it grew and grew like cells dividing unchecked and disorganized; until it formed a giant balloon that lassoed itself around your neck and carried you away. I hate that sometimes.
'What has thinking ever done for me? I've thought myself out of happiness a million times, but never once into it.' - Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
^ Please read that book. If you are reading this and you are a stranger, do a favor for a stranger, because I know that comes easier sometimes than doing favors for your friends. I'm very sad sometimes, and very lost, but one thing that always makes me happier is when someone reads a book for my sake. Then I feel sheepish for asking them and taking up their time, but it's better than feeling sad and lost. I feel happy then, so fragile but so happy, like translucent petals opening, like tiny freckles, like little half-imagined oceans.
Just don't be guilt-tripped. I hate guilt-tripping people. Trust me, the guilt is twice as bad on my side.
'The national geographic was being too graphic
When all she had wanted to know was the traffic...
But we leave the sound on 'cause silence is harder and
No one's the killer and no one's the martyr.' - Regina Spektor