May 17, 2010 18:32
Not the usual update..you'll see...
I'll only include the guys in my life right now...
B - Still in Seattle...omg! He's killing me! Weird stuff going on with him. He's living with his old bf while he's taking care of his business with the courts. No more house arrest, but I know he' back to drinking =( His old bf freaked out because of a text I sent him telling him I missed and Loved him...wtf? I can't stand jealous people, and people who don't understand that it's okay to Love your friends and tell them. Anyways, our road trip is coming along fine. Looks like Las Vegas and San Francisco...definitely doing to be a blast!
Punk - He finally broke up with his back stabbing bf finally!!! I told him he was a dick for leaving me hanging like that when I told him was an idiot (in not such harsh words) for staying with that cheating bastard! But all is forgiven and he's making it up to me. He still needs to treat for drinks next time out too...HA!
Speak of the devil...he just started texting me right now...haha
Pilot - He's getting a little distant but I have new guys to occupy my time with. He's been so aloof lately, but he's entitled. School and work always kill him especially towards finals etc. It also looks like he might not come visit this summer like we were thinking. =(
Driver - We are going to hang out tonight. He took it real hard when I told him that I could never see him and I as a couple (sound familiar right). He's dealing okay I guess, but it still feels weird because of the texts he sends me sometimes, but I do my best to be and do the right thing with him. But today I realized that something is still off...I need to put my finger on it, but something bothers me about our friendship even.
NEW........
Smiles - Just a beautiful guy inside and outside. He's young (too young), but he's got passion. He's so honest and cool. He doesn't speak much but what he says always makes sense. He already knows what he wants out of life and for his future. He does have his moments though where he's just a retard =) He's always fun to be around and when we kiss, it's amazing! He kisses me exactly how I want to be kissed! He dresses real good, has a great collection of shoes and his hair always looks so good...MMMmmmm.
Happy Pants - Love this guy with all my heart! He is so amazing as a human being it boggles me sometimes. He is already considered to be one of my best friends and one of my closest as well. He told me last week that he hasn't been so close to anyone like me in a while =) It was weird...we met online and went out that same night to a movie. It felt that safe and right....when we were waiting for the movie we just talked an talked like we've known each other for years. As with all my friends, we hang out once a week...sometimes more (60 miles apart so we take turns). He gives Authentic a good run for his money in the amazing heart and compassion category...actually to be honest, he outshines us both. So effn cute too...omg! I need not so cute friends...but in my defense his online pic was bleh.
Authentic - The man that my dreams are all about...
Well, on April 16th or actually the 17th we shared/had intimacy in the most intimate ways possible.
I took him to the mountains for the night, we shared a lot of talk and opened up more to each other. We went to bed and of course I wanted to hold him as we did on Valentine's Day. Well after a few minutes there was movement and Authentic made a move and the rest was awwwwwsummmm!!! <3 <3 <3
We are not a couple...he still doesn't want a relationship with me or anyone for that matter but we are closer than we've ever been. The only downside is that I miss him more during the week. But we hang out like crazy even though work and school is challenging for both of us. We used to hang out about 3-4 times a month...now we hang out about eight times a month or more. We don't always have sex, but we show lots of affection and he sends me the cutest texts sometimes =) Btw...yeah, I am very grounded even though this intimacy is amazing!!!
I am starting a new poem for him...all I have is this...
It was inspired by our Astronomy hobby...we just found out that in our galaxy alone, we have about 500 billion stars!!!
When I look up to the stars
That's how much I Love you!
Thanks for reading...
-Jim
intimacy,
friends,
love