Five Times Darren Made A Really Bad Choice, Plus One Time Chris Made A Good One [RPF]
Author: Odd
Title: Five Times Darren Made A Really Bad Choice, Plus One Time Chris Made A Good One [RPF]
Series Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 560
Pairing: Chris/Darren (established relationship)
Spoilers: You can never spoil what doesn’t exist.
Notes: For the prompt: "C/C - Pets!"
I.
“No.”
“Come on, he’s so cute!”
“No, Darren.”
“You said we could get a pet, now that things have calmed down and we’re actually going to be home enough to take care of it.”
“I know, but I thought you meant a kitten or a puppy. Not…this.”
“But look how cute he is!”
“No illegal pets, Darren.”
“But-but-but, FERRET!”
“If they ever become legal, I promise to buy you one. Until then-“
“No Fernando?”
“Fernando?”
“I’ll have you know that Fernando is an awesome name for a ferret!”
“Darren?”
“Yes, Chris?”
“Still illegal.”
“Damn.”
---
II.
“You have to be kidding.”
“What? They’re totally legal. I checked.”
“Darren?”
“Yeah?”
“We live in a condo.”
“So?”
“Condos aren’t well suited for pigeon coops.”
“That’s what the balcony’s for!”
“Darren?”
“Yes?”
“No.”
“Damn.”
---
III.
“Oh, no. No no no no no.”
“What? He’s quiet, he won’t make a big mess, you won’t even know he’s here.”
“No.”
“But WHY?”
“Because I’ve been deathly afraid of snakes for as long as I can remember?”
“You’re afraid of snakes?”
“The fact that I grab you and hide my eyes every time we watch “Chamber of Secrets” wasn’t enough to clue you in?”
“I thought you just wanted to be close to me.”
“No, Darren.”
“No Salazar?”
“You named him Salazar?”
“Duh, what else would I name a snake?”
“How about ‘free to a good home?’”
“So that’s definitely a ‘no,’ huh?”
“Definitely.”
“Damn.”
---
IV.
“This is getting ridiculous.”
“What’s the excuse this time, Chris? They’re not illegal, they aren’t scary, and they won’t cause anyone to call us Bert and Ernie any more than they already do.”
“But what do they do?”
“Do?”
“Yes, Darren. What, if anything, do they do?”
“They, uh, float?”
“Darren?”
“Yes, Chris?”
“No on the Sea Monkeys.”
“They are kind of boring, aren’t they?”
“Just a little bit.”
“Damn.”
---
V.
“Do I even want to know?”
“Well, none of my ideas have worked, so I thought outside of the box.”
“That’s definitely one way of putting it.”
“Does that mean you like it?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then what do you say?”
“I say that I’d really like to know what you want me to do with those kitty ears and that butt plug with the tail.”
“I was hoping you’d be my kitty. You’re already cute and cuddly, but this way, I could skritch you behind your ears and pet you and stroke you and-“
“Darren?”
“Yeah?”
“You can pet me and stroke me all you want, but I am not wearing either of those things.”
“Does that mean I can’t call you ‘mon chaton?’”
“No. I mean yes. I mean…no kitty ears or butt plugs with tails.”
“Not even once?”
“No.”
“Damn.”
---
+1
“Darren?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve got someone who wants to say hello.”
“OhmygodthisisthecutestthingEVER.”
“Does that mean you like him?”
“Have you seen this face? Is this the face of someone who isn’t looking at the cutest thing on the face of the planet?”
“I’m not sure that I’d know.”
“He’s so soft and cute and would you look at these feet!?”
“Then I guess we’ve found our pet, haven’t we?”
“Oh, totally. This is definitely the right choice. I’m gonna’ love him and pet him and squeeze him and call him-“
“George?”
“No; Bugs. What kind of name for a bunny is George?”
“Darren?”
“Yeah?”
“Never change.”
flickrbilder
Title: Five Times Darren Made A Really Bad Choice, Plus One Time Chris Made A Good One [RPF]
Series Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 560
Pairing: Chris/Darren (established relationship)
Spoilers: You can never spoil what doesn’t exist.
Notes: For the prompt: "C/C - Pets!"
I.
“No.”
“Come on, he’s so cute!”
“No, Darren.”
“You said we could get a pet, now that things have calmed down and we’re actually going to be home enough to take care of it.”
“I know, but I thought you meant a kitten or a puppy. Not…this.”
“But look how cute he is!”
“No illegal pets, Darren.”
“But-but-but, FERRET!”
“If they ever become legal, I promise to buy you one. Until then-“
“No Fernando?”
“Fernando?”
“I’ll have you know that Fernando is an awesome name for a ferret!”
“Darren?”
“Yes, Chris?”
“Still illegal.”
“Damn.”
---
II.
“You have to be kidding.”
“What? They’re totally legal. I checked.”
“Darren?”
“Yeah?”
“We live in a condo.”
“So?”
“Condos aren’t well suited for pigeon coops.”
“That’s what the balcony’s for!”
“Darren?”
“Yes?”
“No.”
“Damn.”
---
III.
“Oh, no. No no no no no.”
“What? He’s quiet, he won’t make a big mess, you won’t even know he’s here.”
“No.”
“But WHY?”
“Because I’ve been deathly afraid of snakes for as long as I can remember?”
“You’re afraid of snakes?”
“The fact that I grab you and hide my eyes every time we watch “Chamber of Secrets” wasn’t enough to clue you in?”
“I thought you just wanted to be close to me.”
“No, Darren.”
“No Salazar?”
“You named him Salazar?”
“Duh, what else would I name a snake?”
“How about ‘free to a good home?’”
“So that’s definitely a ‘no,’ huh?”
“Definitely.”
“Damn.”
---
IV.
“This is getting ridiculous.”
“What’s the excuse this time, Chris? They’re not illegal, they aren’t scary, and they won’t cause anyone to call us Bert and Ernie any more than they already do.”
“But what do they do?”
“Do?”
“Yes, Darren. What, if anything, do they do?”
“They, uh, float?”
“Darren?”
“Yes, Chris?”
“No on the Sea Monkeys.”
“They are kind of boring, aren’t they?”
“Just a little bit.”
“Damn.”
---
V.
“Do I even want to know?”
“Well, none of my ideas have worked, so I thought outside of the box.”
“That’s definitely one way of putting it.”
“Does that mean you like it?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then what do you say?”
“I say that I’d really like to know what you want me to do with those kitty ears and that butt plug with the tail.”
“I was hoping you’d be my kitty. You’re already cute and cuddly, but this way, I could skritch you behind your ears and pet you and stroke you and-“
“Darren?”
“Yeah?”
“You can pet me and stroke me all you want, but I am not wearing either of those things.”
“Does that mean I can’t call you ‘mon chaton?’”
“No. I mean yes. I mean…no kitty ears or butt plugs with tails.”
“Not even once?”
“No.”
“Damn.”
---
+1
“Darren?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve got someone who wants to say hello.”
“OhmygodthisisthecutestthingEVER.”
“Does that mean you like him?”
“Have you seen this face? Is this the face of someone who isn’t looking at the cutest thing on the face of the planet?”
“I’m not sure that I’d know.”
“He’s so soft and cute and would you look at these feet!?”
“Then I guess we’ve found our pet, haven’t we?”
“Oh, totally. This is definitely the right choice. I’m gonna’ love him and pet him and squeeze him and call him-“
“George?”
“No; Bugs. What kind of name for a bunny is George?”
“Darren?”
“Yeah?”
“Never change.”
flickrbilder