(no subject)
so here it is all on a screen. the display of every emotion ive felt for the past twenty-four hours. first off id like to start off with betrayl. so i had this best friend. her names nicole scibelli we've been friends for years and only had the best of times. never a fight that wasnt over come within an hour or so. never a tear shed over eachother. never. ever a moment where i didnt think we wouldnt be best friends forever. best friends ha what a misunderstood term. nicole otherwise known as shib was my sister. i dont have the best of relationship with my family and shib became my family through many talks, many laughs many tears, many years. she knows more about me then possibly anyone on this earth and quite honestly the sad thing is i dont think i could ever look at her int he eye again. she sat there and watched me fall for shayna. she watched me be happy she watched me share everyhting with shayna she watched me grow with shayna, she watched shayna and i kiss. while the entire time she knew someone she couldn fess up and tell me. her and shayna had feelings for eachother. shayna lieing to me is another story but my best friend, my sister lying to me. looking me int he eye after so many years and lying to me. so wed. we all went to a club where an incident occured where shayna and shib kissed. but ofcourse what was sent to me what shayna kissed shib. i was upset but i promised shayna we would work through it she continued to tell me it was a test to see if she still had feelings for shib, and after her seeing my face she continued to state that she couldnt see her life without me. and it meant nothing so i believed her. i stayed with her. stupid as shit but i stood by her side and continued to defend her. little did i know that my best friend was lying to me behind my back the whole time. if shib woulndt have lied to me i wouldnt have coontinued to let my feelings for shayna get stronger, and shayna kept feeding into it. she claims it wasnt like that. but of course shes going to. so in the matter of ten minutes i lost my other half, and my girlfriend. the feelings and emotions which went through my body were like nothing that has ever been imbeded into my head. i wanted to die. i will never be able to look at shib in the eye again. she has hurt me in such a way i feel like ive been stabbed in my back a million and five times. a friendship so amazing, gone within a second. i cant stand her. i cant stand to think about her and mostly i cant stabnd to think about what she did to me. the worst thing a best friend could do to another is an understatement for her actions.
i dont know how amanda is going to stay with her, but i only wish her the best of luck, but once a cheater always a cheater. you dont know how much me and shib meant to eachother.it sounds as if i wa sin love with her but it wasnt like that at all. we just i dont know, best friends get out of control, and quite honestly she deserves a punch in the face for not only what she did to me but what shes doing to amanda and what she will probably continue to do to amanda. but i really do hope shib fucking slaps back into reality for amandas sake. amanda is an amazing person of course we have our differnces and what not but i care about her a lot, and to see her be treated like that is ridiculous but once again i do wish them the best of luck <3
shayna. i had to say goodbye to her. she made it quite clear today that i was the one who ended it so i suppose i was. i cant sit here and think about all of the good times we had and all of the things weve been through together and done and all of the things shes looked into my eyes and said and then know in the back of my mind that shib, my best friend was always in the back of her mind. and then for her to continue to lie to me about it. i want nothing to do with it. it hurts. it hurts soooo bad. ive sat in my bed and cried for the past two days. i finally got up to go online i couldnt sit in that bed anymore. i woke up to our song on the radio while napping to only find out that shes called 4 times today since i hung up on her. i cant talk to her if its meant to be shell come back. who knows if i would take her back it would honestly have to mean the world to her. i cant sit there and deal with that. shes made me look like an asshole for too long, and i have more respect for myself then that. so thats really all i should say on this thing before i get in some sort of trouble for spilling everyones business even though it is my life thats been affected. so quite honestly fuck it all.
i dont know how amanda is going to stay with her, but i only wish her the best of luck, but once a cheater always a cheater. you dont know how much me and shib meant to eachother.it sounds as if i wa sin love with her but it wasnt like that at all. we just i dont know, best friends get out of control, and quite honestly she deserves a punch in the face for not only what she did to me but what shes doing to amanda and what she will probably continue to do to amanda. but i really do hope shib fucking slaps back into reality for amandas sake. amanda is an amazing person of course we have our differnces and what not but i care about her a lot, and to see her be treated like that is ridiculous but once again i do wish them the best of luck <3
shayna. i had to say goodbye to her. she made it quite clear today that i was the one who ended it so i suppose i was. i cant sit here and think about all of the good times we had and all of the things weve been through together and done and all of the things shes looked into my eyes and said and then know in the back of my mind that shib, my best friend was always in the back of her mind. and then for her to continue to lie to me about it. i want nothing to do with it. it hurts. it hurts soooo bad. ive sat in my bed and cried for the past two days. i finally got up to go online i couldnt sit in that bed anymore. i woke up to our song on the radio while napping to only find out that shes called 4 times today since i hung up on her. i cant talk to her if its meant to be shell come back. who knows if i would take her back it would honestly have to mean the world to her. i cant sit there and deal with that. shes made me look like an asshole for too long, and i have more respect for myself then that. so thats really all i should say on this thing before i get in some sort of trouble for spilling everyones business even though it is my life thats been affected. so quite honestly fuck it all.