. in the darkness she is all i see .
so woah for my memorial day weekend all i can say is woah. the weirdest shit occured. alright so thursday night i think i just kinda stayed home. in all honesty i dont remember what i did haha. then friday i went to nicks party ha it was fucking insane. i dont rememeber 3/4 of it. but i know i lost a few friends due to the fact that i need a filter for what i say. but in all honesty i wouldnt take it back if i could. you cant runaway from your problems, and because i was the one to come out and say it. thats not my problem, and in the long run youre going to hurt my best friend. so yeah i was very cross id and me and shib got into another durnken fight and amanda had to break it up in the bathroom and i have a brusie on my arm =( i have no idea wtf i was thinking all night, but whatever. so saturday me and martica came back to my house and slept pretty much all day with huge hangovers then lauren and emily came by and we went out with them to kims job, out to deer park idk then we went to this kids party down boyle. ha it was fun. i guess? idk but me martica and lauren just kinda left with beers in our pockets. well lauren didnt she was driving. hmm i really should be careful what i say on here though 'cause someone might start to think that all i do is drink and how i should grow up and whatever someone stated all over that comment ha. either way then sunday nicole willis came over while martica was still here and we had a lot of fun. i won a game of horse;) haha and then we came back here when christina got here. from there. it was just a disaster. christina hasnt made me feel like that much shit since probably like 7th grade. that girl is just out of control. i cant take it anymore. she is just an overgrown fucking piece of shit. and i mean it.honestly. i was full of disguist that whole night i dont even want to get into it. but you know andrea made a good point. why do i need her? i always reassured myself because it was a comfort zone for the both of us. but you wanna know something. its not. shes a cunt. a fucking full blown cunt. not to be putting someone down like that because i am not a person to do that but in all honesty i dont have a bit of respect for that girl.and i know shes going to read this and agree with it so i dont really have a problem with saying it. so i am going to continue speaking my mind because it is MY journal. and i fucking can. so she was here with an attitude to begin with. but you know what i just dealt with it. so the entire E-N-T-I-R-E night she was ont he phone with her boyfriend and fucking asks me. can justin stop by. are u really that self centered and fucking stupid? i really didnt think so but apparently shes such a cunt you know what actually i changed my mind im not even going to get into the rest maybe another day right now im too happy to be thinking about this bullshit. and the waste of five years this girl has brought upon my life. and yes. she has fucked up everything in my life. and that is why we werent friends for so long because she knew what a fuck up she was towards me. and how she feels she has to choose between me and her boyfriends. thats not my problem. shes the one whos GAY. christina guess what youre a lesbian. stupid ass. you wouldnt feel things like that and look at me like that an treat me the way you do if you werent deeply in love. and you know what you can fuck yourself now 'cause its gunna bite you in the ass someday. forget it i dont even want to finish this entry im pissed. k bye