(no subject)
argh. Today was a fucked up day. Really FUCKED UP. me and my mother went to pixies house with jen and pixie and johna. garg. bad idea. we dropped them off while my mother and i went to look for hair dye at the mall, and the mall was closed. Then we went to target and got some stuff looked for dickies and found two book and some shirts... but otherwise we got back to megans house and there was a cop car. FIRst sign of bad news. anyway the cops came because joe, megans husband told johna and jen that he would shoot them if they didnt get out, and they were just getting pixies stuff. megan was like FREAKING out. it was a little funny. but pixie got arrested for a warrant and shes in jail right now because of megans pills. megan says that pixie owes her 50 dollars, and then she owes her 300 dollars. dude i hate fucking drama. jens family is huge and really dramatic. jen is talking to johna right now, cause shes mad at him a little..
anyway i am pretty confused about life. I just want life to just be blah blah blah. BLAH. BLAHBLAHBLAH. i kind of wish the world would slow down a LOT. i wish i had some more friends. i fucking push everybody away and i end up lonely like this. and i get to know so many people who i just drop after awhile. either i get to know who they really are, or like taylor, we just kind of broke apart, i guess i just got lazy and thought that i didnt really make her very happy. now im just stupid and lonely. i miss taylor and i miss jade. even though jade has done some fucked up stuff.. so much SHIT coming out of everyones mouths. i dont know what to care about anymore. i dont feel unhappy, just lonely. i hung out with becca, but i realized shes selfish, i hung out with jen, but realized shes using me, and im still friends with them, because i dont care that much. i really dont care that much that people are using me because i know i ask everyone for things all the time so i dont feel like its that that makes me lonely, its more that i just cant stand many people which makes me lonely.
god my mom thinks im a little stupid. shes all comparing me to aurora. hm.. i hate this sometimes.. i tell my mom so much. SO MUCH.
and its always wrong i dont see why she cares so much about drama with her friends.
like rowshawn is awesome. but sara is so nice, but very like.. i dont know..
my mom is being a weirdo. i dont know.
FUCK.
i sometimes want to bleed. a lot...
anyway i am pretty confused about life. I just want life to just be blah blah blah. BLAH. BLAHBLAHBLAH. i kind of wish the world would slow down a LOT. i wish i had some more friends. i fucking push everybody away and i end up lonely like this. and i get to know so many people who i just drop after awhile. either i get to know who they really are, or like taylor, we just kind of broke apart, i guess i just got lazy and thought that i didnt really make her very happy. now im just stupid and lonely. i miss taylor and i miss jade. even though jade has done some fucked up stuff.. so much SHIT coming out of everyones mouths. i dont know what to care about anymore. i dont feel unhappy, just lonely. i hung out with becca, but i realized shes selfish, i hung out with jen, but realized shes using me, and im still friends with them, because i dont care that much. i really dont care that much that people are using me because i know i ask everyone for things all the time so i dont feel like its that that makes me lonely, its more that i just cant stand many people which makes me lonely.
god my mom thinks im a little stupid. shes all comparing me to aurora. hm.. i hate this sometimes.. i tell my mom so much. SO MUCH.
and its always wrong i dont see why she cares so much about drama with her friends.
like rowshawn is awesome. but sara is so nice, but very like.. i dont know..
my mom is being a weirdo. i dont know.
FUCK.
i sometimes want to bleed. a lot...