hey diary dude.
whats up.
hm.. my mother read my diary a week ago so i am grounded. river dumped me awhile ago. i sometimes want to kill myself. but then i think.. hm. maybe i should just go eat something. or smell something really yummy. i havent really gone anywhere in a long time. or 6 days. whatever. my mom is almost gonna let me smoke every day. she might also let me drink. how sad? i quit smoking ciggarettes today, because i feel really bad for my mom. i made a garden. i planted echinacia? and a lot of other stuff and i love my garden. its name is timbo. john came over today and hes funny. we have similar humor. no body really likes me, i realized. god. i miss zack a lot and aurora. i want to see them so bad. zacks mom found out we smoked pot and did tincture. i think she hates me a lot. zack wrote to aurora in an email about it and read it. i feel so bad for zack, his mom took his door, and took everything he owns because he got caught smoking pot. that is really sad. his mom is a republican but she was in like 3 punk bands and has red and black hair. how is that possible? her husband is such a bad influence on her. he was in the army. his mom would be so cool, if only. if only. she wont let zack even hang out with me i bet. so many parents wont let their kids hang out with me. that is fucked up. wait... not really. i would probably be a really bad influence on their kids anyway. i guess i am pretty fucked up. maybe i should join the navy, and die for my country. or not.
i would rather not. i mean id like to get in shape, but not that kind of shape. i dont want to be brainwashed. i get so angry sometimes, its hard to control. ive tried to make friends, but in the end i just push them away. i cant help it. people really fucking bother me. a lot. anyway im gonna go check my email.
later
hm.. my mother read my diary a week ago so i am grounded. river dumped me awhile ago. i sometimes want to kill myself. but then i think.. hm. maybe i should just go eat something. or smell something really yummy. i havent really gone anywhere in a long time. or 6 days. whatever. my mom is almost gonna let me smoke every day. she might also let me drink. how sad? i quit smoking ciggarettes today, because i feel really bad for my mom. i made a garden. i planted echinacia? and a lot of other stuff and i love my garden. its name is timbo. john came over today and hes funny. we have similar humor. no body really likes me, i realized. god. i miss zack a lot and aurora. i want to see them so bad. zacks mom found out we smoked pot and did tincture. i think she hates me a lot. zack wrote to aurora in an email about it and read it. i feel so bad for zack, his mom took his door, and took everything he owns because he got caught smoking pot. that is really sad. his mom is a republican but she was in like 3 punk bands and has red and black hair. how is that possible? her husband is such a bad influence on her. he was in the army. his mom would be so cool, if only. if only. she wont let zack even hang out with me i bet. so many parents wont let their kids hang out with me. that is fucked up. wait... not really. i would probably be a really bad influence on their kids anyway. i guess i am pretty fucked up. maybe i should join the navy, and die for my country. or not.
i would rather not. i mean id like to get in shape, but not that kind of shape. i dont want to be brainwashed. i get so angry sometimes, its hard to control. ive tried to make friends, but in the end i just push them away. i cant help it. people really fucking bother me. a lot. anyway im gonna go check my email.
later