All over again......
Well.... call me a sucker for putting up with my husband and not leaving his ass.... first off.... he took eighty dollars out of the bank that wasn't there and caused us to go into negative AGAIN... not only that he did it in two separate transactions...brb....
**UPDATE**
After he did that the bank let him take more out two separate times even though the account was in the negative... so for all four transaction plus the atm switch fee and each overdraft fee came out to be 475.00 !!!!!! What the fuck is wrong with him... Of course I'm not an idiot and plus I'm a scorpio so I think every scenario out possible... and I would be wasting my time trying to figure it out by asking for the truth... I ask one time , let him know how I feel about the situation and about his excuse and then shut my mouth. And let me tell you that is really hard for me to do. The only reason that I do it is because I'm not prepared to take action YET.. I have to transfer to another school this month... find out my schedule... get a job and put the kids in daycare ASAP.. Once I get all those things in place... trust me if he hasn't changed ... which I doubt he will... He will be hearing the full load... and if he can't handle the heat that I'll be blasting at him... I'm going to tell him that I don't want to see him until we are in court... I have wasted 4 years... 4 YEARS!!! of MY LIFE putting up with his shit... But I did it because I love him And I wanted to help him get a hold of things and make life better for him and us as a family.. I have given Him every opportunity possible to make it right... He has absolutely no excuse... I have made everything easy for him... but maybe that's why he acts a fool... either way it's not right and he's an adult , a father, a husband and supposed to be a proactive leader as a man.... I am the one that has to take that position. Don't get me wrong I like being the proactive leader of my family ... but things would be so set and in place for all of us if he was too... we have our children’s future here that we have to think about and of course ours as a whole family... I told him that I refuse to go into my thirties doing this with him... the way I look at it... Your teenage years is for experimenting... your early twenties is for trial and error and trying to stay laying the foundation to your future... you late twenties is for building on top of that foundation even though its a slow process... your thirties is for keeping everything stable and staying on the right track towards your investments ... and your forties and there on is for reaping what you have sewed all these years... am I the only one that thinks this way...
And the cherry on the f'in pie is.... get this shit........ he has been treating me like a roommate.... no affection... no holding... no kissing... no sex... when he hugs me he gives me a pat on the back... and sometimes a peck.... Once again I'm not stupid... I know what this usually means ... he tries to tell me it's because he stressed out.... yeah okay... what the fuck ever... please ... he's not fooling my ass.... first off... stressed out about what??? his stupidity?? he builds his own barriers... and plus we've been through worse things than having to replace almost 500 dollars in the bank ... Listen there is still food on the table... everybody got their Christmas presents... I cooked for all the holidays... And I mean big ass meals... Everybody came over to our house for them... and we had plenty of leftovers to last up till forever... everybody has everything they need... so what's the deal??... so once again ...please... save your f'in breath... there is nothing to be that stressed over to the point of ignoring your wife... I have done nothing to him... I want the affection... even when he pulled all this shit... I didn't even blow up... I just had a very meaningful wise conversation about it and where we are heading if this continues and what we need to do to make it better... and what is to come if we do make it better.... but even when I just talk to him... he gets defensive and I'm not even talking to him in an aggressive manner... and trust me I'm a very diplomatic person... so maybe it's guilt ... who knows... and plus... about the way he's acting towards me... I know it can't be me because I know I'm not ugly... I'm not a bitch... I definitely not bad in bed... I give great head... I'm a good mother... a good housewife ... a great cook... I'll bend over backwards for the people I love... So again... I know it couldn't be me... so whatever...
Here's to the new year and getting myself together for the first time in four years... this year is about me and my kids... period... end of story
**UPDATE**
After he did that the bank let him take more out two separate times even though the account was in the negative... so for all four transaction plus the atm switch fee and each overdraft fee came out to be 475.00 !!!!!! What the fuck is wrong with him... Of course I'm not an idiot and plus I'm a scorpio so I think every scenario out possible... and I would be wasting my time trying to figure it out by asking for the truth... I ask one time , let him know how I feel about the situation and about his excuse and then shut my mouth. And let me tell you that is really hard for me to do. The only reason that I do it is because I'm not prepared to take action YET.. I have to transfer to another school this month... find out my schedule... get a job and put the kids in daycare ASAP.. Once I get all those things in place... trust me if he hasn't changed ... which I doubt he will... He will be hearing the full load... and if he can't handle the heat that I'll be blasting at him... I'm going to tell him that I don't want to see him until we are in court... I have wasted 4 years... 4 YEARS!!! of MY LIFE putting up with his shit... But I did it because I love him And I wanted to help him get a hold of things and make life better for him and us as a family.. I have given Him every opportunity possible to make it right... He has absolutely no excuse... I have made everything easy for him... but maybe that's why he acts a fool... either way it's not right and he's an adult , a father, a husband and supposed to be a proactive leader as a man.... I am the one that has to take that position. Don't get me wrong I like being the proactive leader of my family ... but things would be so set and in place for all of us if he was too... we have our children’s future here that we have to think about and of course ours as a whole family... I told him that I refuse to go into my thirties doing this with him... the way I look at it... Your teenage years is for experimenting... your early twenties is for trial and error and trying to stay laying the foundation to your future... you late twenties is for building on top of that foundation even though its a slow process... your thirties is for keeping everything stable and staying on the right track towards your investments ... and your forties and there on is for reaping what you have sewed all these years... am I the only one that thinks this way...
And the cherry on the f'in pie is.... get this shit........ he has been treating me like a roommate.... no affection... no holding... no kissing... no sex... when he hugs me he gives me a pat on the back... and sometimes a peck.... Once again I'm not stupid... I know what this usually means ... he tries to tell me it's because he stressed out.... yeah okay... what the fuck ever... please ... he's not fooling my ass.... first off... stressed out about what??? his stupidity?? he builds his own barriers... and plus we've been through worse things than having to replace almost 500 dollars in the bank ... Listen there is still food on the table... everybody got their Christmas presents... I cooked for all the holidays... And I mean big ass meals... Everybody came over to our house for them... and we had plenty of leftovers to last up till forever... everybody has everything they need... so what's the deal??... so once again ...please... save your f'in breath... there is nothing to be that stressed over to the point of ignoring your wife... I have done nothing to him... I want the affection... even when he pulled all this shit... I didn't even blow up... I just had a very meaningful wise conversation about it and where we are heading if this continues and what we need to do to make it better... and what is to come if we do make it better.... but even when I just talk to him... he gets defensive and I'm not even talking to him in an aggressive manner... and trust me I'm a very diplomatic person... so maybe it's guilt ... who knows... and plus... about the way he's acting towards me... I know it can't be me because I know I'm not ugly... I'm not a bitch... I definitely not bad in bed... I give great head... I'm a good mother... a good housewife ... a great cook... I'll bend over backwards for the people I love... So again... I know it couldn't be me... so whatever...
Here's to the new year and getting myself together for the first time in four years... this year is about me and my kids... period... end of story