(no subject)
For the first time in a long time (if ever before?) I feel like everyone in my life is just SO GOOD for me to have around me. I'm enriched by all these people who "vibrate on the same frequency" as me, whether they are here with me physically, in Vermont, or off somewhere else and only with me in my mind and heart. I also recognize, now, that there are people who have different frequencies, and that that's OK, and we're just not meant to be, and I don't need to waste worry, regret, or self-doubt over it. Everyone in my life just treats me SO WELL. I feel almost selfish, like for now I'm letting myself just sit here while everyone (beknownst to them or not) is just waiting on me hand and foot (and soul). I hope I'm giving them something back, even if I'm not aware of it.
I can't claim to be rid of my self-doubt, my over-analytical-insecurities, my judgements, or my sensativities - but I am watching them now. They aren't possessing me [i.e. they aren't ME] but they are only a part of myself, which the rest of me is able to step away from, observe, and keep in proper check. For the most part.
I often crave security, but I'm starting to appriciate the comfort, contentment, and even safety that can come from ambiguity.
I can't claim to be rid of my self-doubt, my over-analytical-insecurities, my judgements, or my sensativities - but I am watching them now. They aren't possessing me [i.e. they aren't ME] but they are only a part of myself, which the rest of me is able to step away from, observe, and keep in proper check. For the most part.
I often crave security, but I'm starting to appriciate the comfort, contentment, and even safety that can come from ambiguity.