after I hung up I said FUCK
Fuckin shit yo.
Serious fuckin a.
BENJAMIN HOOPER called me last night. Finally called me. And proceeded to tell me that I've been on his mind, he's always been attracted to me and he wants me to come over. And that he only took my note down because some quality ho was being a bitch about it. And that he kept it in his desk.
I turned him down. Hardcore.
WHY?
Because at one point in the conversation he let me know that he "sometimes" has a girlfriend and that I couldn't go see him a different night instead because he's "kinda tied up". I mean usually, sex is sex to me and I don't really care if the other party is involved with someone or not. It ain't no thing. But when it's Ben Hooper, who I lusted after for MONTHS, who took my breath away, I CAN'T BE SECOND. I told him I don't do the bitch on the side thing and gave him my whole schpiel about cheating. He said he was sorry and that he shouldn't have called. That I got the wrong idea and he didn't want to explain himself.
Part of me says "girl you fucked that up good and you should call him back and beg" and the other part of me says "good job" because I think that I just stood up for myself or something, but I still feel horrible and I really wish the whole situation had gone differently.
I wanted him to call me so badly for so long and then he does and says everything I want to hear and I have to fucking blow it because I have reservations. Usually my morality is so abject that I would have just gone running, but I can't be Ben's "other woman". That would suck the skin off an apple.
Did he hear I was easy or something?
Anyway, I am now very sad about it and I wish I hadn't been so nervous when I was on the phone. I just start babbling about stupid shit and then I ruin everything.
Josh, go tell him to call me again. I want to hear his explaination.
Serious fuckin a.
BENJAMIN HOOPER called me last night. Finally called me. And proceeded to tell me that I've been on his mind, he's always been attracted to me and he wants me to come over. And that he only took my note down because some quality ho was being a bitch about it. And that he kept it in his desk.
I turned him down. Hardcore.
WHY?
Because at one point in the conversation he let me know that he "sometimes" has a girlfriend and that I couldn't go see him a different night instead because he's "kinda tied up". I mean usually, sex is sex to me and I don't really care if the other party is involved with someone or not. It ain't no thing. But when it's Ben Hooper, who I lusted after for MONTHS, who took my breath away, I CAN'T BE SECOND. I told him I don't do the bitch on the side thing and gave him my whole schpiel about cheating. He said he was sorry and that he shouldn't have called. That I got the wrong idea and he didn't want to explain himself.
Part of me says "girl you fucked that up good and you should call him back and beg" and the other part of me says "good job" because I think that I just stood up for myself or something, but I still feel horrible and I really wish the whole situation had gone differently.
I wanted him to call me so badly for so long and then he does and says everything I want to hear and I have to fucking blow it because I have reservations. Usually my morality is so abject that I would have just gone running, but I can't be Ben's "other woman". That would suck the skin off an apple.
Did he hear I was easy or something?
Anyway, I am now very sad about it and I wish I hadn't been so nervous when I was on the phone. I just start babbling about stupid shit and then I ruin everything.
Josh, go tell him to call me again. I want to hear his explaination.