Funny Recap - "Moving On"
Sara M, who writes House reviews and recaps for Television Without Pity, posts her last piece for House. Like many of us, she gave up on him...
We should all move on from the bitterness this episode has caused, but oh hell - this recap is funny to read.
"Well, the writers sure did a great job of ruining that enjoyable aspect of the show. You know, I liked it when House and Cuddy used to bicker and have sexual tension, pre-relationship. I think a lot of people did. And, unlike a lot of people, I liked a lot of things about their relationship. But now all of that has been totally destroyed with no hope of it ever coming back for reasons I truly do not understand. It seems like, starting with when they randomly fired Jennifer Morrison, the people behind the scenes decided that they hate their viewers and want to make sure there's nothing left to enjoy about their own show by systemically eliminating everything that was awesome about it.
[...] Read the whole recap here! [...]
In what is becoming a pattern of terrible decisions, Wilson decided they should take House's car to the bar and that House should drive. Even though, again, he is high on Vicodin and will probably get totally wasted at the bar on top of that. And, I would assume, Wilson had to drive his own car to House's apartment so why not just let Wilson drive his own car? It's like Wilson went out of his way to make this terrible idea happen. House pulls up in front of Cuddy's house and tells Wilson to stay in the car. He walks towards the house, then stops short. Cuddy has company. Julia and her husband are having coffee in Cuddy's dining room with Cuddy and Jerry. Yes, there's no better first date than coffee at someone's house with her sister and her sister's husband. That makes sense. They get up to leave the room, with no one apparently noticing the man standing in the front yard like fifteen feet away from the large window. Cuddy touches Jerry's shoulder. House decides not to return the hairbrush after all.
He turns around and walks back to the car. Wilson asks what's going on. "Get out," House says. Wilson again asks what's going on. "Get out," House repeats. Wilson obeys, leaving House with "what are you mad about? Just let it out. You'll feel better." House closes the car door and screeches away, leaving Wilson on the sidewalk figuring he should call for a cab. Well, that's what you get for letting House drive. House speeds away, then, suddenly, does a screechy U-turn in the middle of the road. The anger on his face changes into determination, and he speeds back towards Cuddy's house. Like, seriously towards Cuddy's house. As in, Wilson jumps out of the way (and manages to hurt his arm when he lands. Klutz!) as the car pulls up on the sidewalk, over the front lawn, and rams into Cuddy's dining room. Her walls are made out of paper, so the car easily passes through them and comes to a rest almost entirely in the dining room. Fortunately for pretty much everyone involved, no one was in the dining room at the time. They're all standing just outside it, staring at the uninvited guest in shock and horror.
So. The question now is, what the hell just happened? Did House actually drive a car through Cuddy's house and escape to some tropical paradise? If so, how can the show possibly recover from that? House can't return to the United States without going to jail for what should be a very long time, and they can't just have the Cottages and Wilson all move to Mexico or wherever he is and practice medicine there. Also, who wants to watch House do anything now that he just tried to kill four people (five, if you count Rachel, who he didn't know was in the room or not)? Yes, they weren't in the room when the car went through it and yes, he saw them leave the room before he decided to drive the car through it. But that doesn't really matter. He had no way of knowing that they didn't walk back into the room in between the time that he walked away and crashed through the wall. It's still attempted murder.
It doesn't mean anything, just like House said about Afsoun's art project. Three or four episodes into next season, House will be back at PPTH doing the same thing and acting like the same asshole. Or, if it's even possible at this point, even more of an asshole. But each season, that's just a little less fun to watch until it gets to this point where it's just not entertaining at all anymore. The writers clearly don't give a shit about the medical mystery aspect of the show anymore and devote little to no effort to it. There's nothing likeable about any of the characters. The most compelling one spent the last few episodes being a hateful lunatic and now he's just driven a car into his ex-girlfriend's house. So I think it's time for me to pull a Lisa Edelstein and move on. It's been great to recap seven seasons of this show, which was, for a long time, the best thing on TV, but I'm done. Thank you so much for reading, cue the Rolling Stones, and good-bye!