TO ALL MY FRIENDS THAT WISH TO BE FABULOUS
HOW TO SHOW UP AT A CLUB / PARTY
- NEVER JUST ARRIVE MAKE AN ENTRENCE
- MAKE SURE YOUR OUTFIT WORKS IN BLACK AND WHITE AND THAT ITS A CONVERSATION PEICE EVEN IF YOUR THE ONE DOING THE TALKING
HOW TO BE FABULOUS
- THE ROAD OF EXESS LEADS TO THE PALACE OF WISDOM
- AND DONT DREAM IT BE IT
- ROCKEY HORROR PICTURE SHOW MUST BE YOUR FAVORATE
- FLATERY WILL GET YOU EVERY WHERE
- PHOTO PLACEMENT IF YOUR IN A GROUP OF THREE ALWAYS BE THE ONE STANDING ON RIGHT BECAUSE THAT WAY WHEN THEY TAKE THE PICTURE YOU WILL BE THE ONE ON THE LEFT SO THE CAPTION WILL READ (YOU) AND BLAH BLAH BLAH WHERE SEEN
RULES OF PRESS
- NO POBLISITY IS BAD POBLISITY
- ONCE SOMETHING IS PRINTED IT AUTOMATICLY BECOMES TRUE
- NEVER DISH ANYONE IN PRINT
- NEVER BE SEEN DRINKING ANYTHING OTHER THAN CHAMPAGNE
- NEVER TAKE HEROIN
- NEVER WHERE WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY
- AVOID PREP'S LIKE THE PLAGE
THE ART OF WORKING A ROOM
- APPON MAKING YOUR GRAND ENTRANCE TAKE YOUR PARTENER BY THE HAND AND CIRCLE THE ROOM, SMILE AND SAY HELLO TO EVERYONE IN THE ROOM EVEN IF YOU DONT KNOW THEM ESPECIALLY IF YOU DONT KNOW THEM
- GO ONCE AROUND THE ROOM IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS TELL ALL THE PEOPLE HOW YOU'VE LOST YOUR FRIEND AND HOW DESPERATE YOU ARE TO FIND THEM NOW SUDDENLY WE BUMP INTO EACH OTHER AND SCREAM WITH UNCONTAINED JOY, GOOD NOW LINK ARMS AND GO CLOCKWISE AROUND THE ROOM TELLINF ALL YOUR NEW FOUND FRIENDS HOW YOU FOUND EACH OTHER.
- THEN LEAVE THE WHOLE THING SHOULD TAKE AN HOUR NINTY MINUTES TOPS
DO THIS ONCE A NIGHT EVERY NIGHT FOR THREE MONTHS YOU WILL BE THE TOAST OF THE TOWN.
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS DARLINGS
TOODLES,
REVEREND STEPHEN MARTINI