(no subject)
I saw Deerhoof yesterday. I really enjoyed it, thank you very much Juan for introducing me to them. It was at the Blind Pig and I was really excited to go because everytime a band played there I wanted to see, I could never get in because I wasn't 19. Now, I know it is a bar, but isn't that a weird age to be the minimum to get in? And it was really weird anyway because they had a very confusing way of getting in. We weren't sure if it was the side door or up the stairs or what but we eventually figured it out. We went to this smelly diner before hand so I could get a fountain drink and the cook there had a pink mohawk and was throwing frozen slabs on the grill and listening to crust punk music. He was also doing the new hardcore dance, i think it is called "the two step", while he was cooking the meat and eventually the grilled cheese that a party sitting next to us ordered. That is why I love Ann Arbor. I would love to live in that city. In weird ways it reminds me of California. I have no idea why. I think it would be really cool to live by Bubble Island because I could live off of boba. I wouldn't need food at all.
Rachel is in Lansing tonight. Who am I going to fall asleep with? She has been my savior because lately my parents have been crazy and just find it amusing to constantly put me down and put more stress on me. They are seriously pushing me to the edge...I don't know if I can take it. They are starting to make me feel hopeless. This is the only time I feel less than a person is when I am home. A lot of my self esteem issues do stem back to them. I wish this wasn't true because I would love to be able to hang out with them or even just talk to them, but I can't. I want a parent I can talk to about things. Especially since I have been feeling alone lately. What to do. I want to move. I don't have a savings account. I want to just leave in my car. It technically isn't mine. I need to clean my room. I can't find the motivation. I have been moping around and reading these comic books Rachel let me borrow, which by the way are very good. I feel like I need help...or maybe I am just confused with what I really need. What I really need is to get the fuck out of this house. It is the only key to sanity.
Rachel is in Lansing tonight. Who am I going to fall asleep with? She has been my savior because lately my parents have been crazy and just find it amusing to constantly put me down and put more stress on me. They are seriously pushing me to the edge...I don't know if I can take it. They are starting to make me feel hopeless. This is the only time I feel less than a person is when I am home. A lot of my self esteem issues do stem back to them. I wish this wasn't true because I would love to be able to hang out with them or even just talk to them, but I can't. I want a parent I can talk to about things. Especially since I have been feeling alone lately. What to do. I want to move. I don't have a savings account. I want to just leave in my car. It technically isn't mine. I need to clean my room. I can't find the motivation. I have been moping around and reading these comic books Rachel let me borrow, which by the way are very good. I feel like I need help...or maybe I am just confused with what I really need. What I really need is to get the fuck out of this house. It is the only key to sanity.