Finals
So it's finals week. Basically its the week from hell.
Out of my 5 classes... I've only got 3 finals that I have to actually complete.
One down... 2 more to go. One actual test. and One essay final that I should be working on right now.
Instead.. I'm writing to you all and watching a movie.
My hopes are that this weekend I can go up to Wisconsin and visit some of my friends. But I dont know if its going to happen. I just keep hoping and praying that things work out. I need NEED to get out of Illinois for a little bit. Otherwise I think that i might lose my mind.
There's just too much going on here that I cannot handle right now without going totally ballistic.
I dont want to say its not fair, because that would sound childish. Things just aren't good right now. I dont even know where to start with most of it. This past semester just hasn't been... what I thought it would be. at all. it was actually rather disappointing to be honest.
My love life.. non-fucking existant. I'm lonely, I know that. Because I'm having weird daydreams.
My school life.. could be better, but I have a few good friends on campus that I know I can rely on. They just aren't the people that I want to be able to rely on.
My money situation... sucks. nothing new there.
My life in general.. just feels sucky right now. Nothing's going the way I want it to and I think that the cold winter weather has brought out the worst in me. I've started gaining weight.. I sleep way too much.. i either over eat or i dont eat at all. I smoke too much. I've had thoughts of doing certain things just to get my mind off of things and not have to think about things.
I think the only thing that really brightens my semester/life up is a family member came back into my life and we talk all the time. text, phone. He's a good guy, getting his life straighten out and back in order. he gets me. it's great. we haven't spoken in like 9 years and it feels like a lifetime. Thank god for him, because otherwise the things that go on in my head, would continue to go around and around and go nowhere. it would only continue to fuck me up. worse than i already am.
Alas, I should work on my Gender & Literature essay final. Maybe more later.
Out of my 5 classes... I've only got 3 finals that I have to actually complete.
One down... 2 more to go. One actual test. and One essay final that I should be working on right now.
Instead.. I'm writing to you all and watching a movie.
My hopes are that this weekend I can go up to Wisconsin and visit some of my friends. But I dont know if its going to happen. I just keep hoping and praying that things work out. I need NEED to get out of Illinois for a little bit. Otherwise I think that i might lose my mind.
There's just too much going on here that I cannot handle right now without going totally ballistic.
I dont want to say its not fair, because that would sound childish. Things just aren't good right now. I dont even know where to start with most of it. This past semester just hasn't been... what I thought it would be. at all. it was actually rather disappointing to be honest.
My love life.. non-fucking existant. I'm lonely, I know that. Because I'm having weird daydreams.
My school life.. could be better, but I have a few good friends on campus that I know I can rely on. They just aren't the people that I want to be able to rely on.
My money situation... sucks. nothing new there.
My life in general.. just feels sucky right now. Nothing's going the way I want it to and I think that the cold winter weather has brought out the worst in me. I've started gaining weight.. I sleep way too much.. i either over eat or i dont eat at all. I smoke too much. I've had thoughts of doing certain things just to get my mind off of things and not have to think about things.
I think the only thing that really brightens my semester/life up is a family member came back into my life and we talk all the time. text, phone. He's a good guy, getting his life straighten out and back in order. he gets me. it's great. we haven't spoken in like 9 years and it feels like a lifetime. Thank god for him, because otherwise the things that go on in my head, would continue to go around and around and go nowhere. it would only continue to fuck me up. worse than i already am.
Alas, I should work on my Gender & Literature essay final. Maybe more later.