morning
today was just another morning that i woke up feeling like crap and pissed off. sometimes i wonder why i do things the way i do, because sometimes they just dont seem logical. even after thinking about them for a bit.
i woke up... and i couldn't get up. very few things lately make me happy. i can't help that. everything is just so crazy lately and i don't know how to stop it. there's this constant urge to just lock myself up in my room and cry.. until i fall asleep. the constant urge to eat everything in the apartment. the constant urge to just quit everything that i've got going right now: school...classes...homework...the newspaper...working...friends. i'm so stressed with everything that's going on and i dont know how to control it all at once. the stress of everything just makes me crazy. i'm tired even after i sleep a good 8 hours or so. i'm hungry even after i eat. i'm constantly tired but i can't get to sleep before 2AM every night.
i want this all to just be done. i want to be done with BU. i want to be done with school. i want to start my career. i want my life to make sense. i want my goals to be fulfilled. i don't want to feel like i feel anymore.
i talked to a friend about this. most of it at least. and yea, i do have a lot on my plate. it always seems that i work better that wy, but lately, it just hasn't been working out that way.
i'm behind in 2-3 classes right now.. that's half of my classes. i have to go talk to my advisor about classes for next semester. i have to start thinking, researching grad schools again. i have to take the GRE's, i have to apply to grad schools. i have to graduate from BU. i have to get myself out of debt. i have to fend for myself.
basically, i have to be an adult. yes, i know that there are people my age that are already in that phase of life, but honestly, this is all moving so quickly that i feel like i cant keep up with it.
like this month: october. where the fuck did it go!?!? i feel like yesterday was the 1st of the month and the month was just beginning. i mean seriously. i can't do anything to make it slow down but it feels like it is constantly speeding up.
i should be finishing the Press Release that was due last week and finishing a paper that was due like 2 weeks ago and working on another paper that was due about 2 weeks agao as well.
my motivation. gone. not there. even just typing this is making me tired.
i woke up... and i couldn't get up. very few things lately make me happy. i can't help that. everything is just so crazy lately and i don't know how to stop it. there's this constant urge to just lock myself up in my room and cry.. until i fall asleep. the constant urge to eat everything in the apartment. the constant urge to just quit everything that i've got going right now: school...classes...homework...the newspaper...working...friends. i'm so stressed with everything that's going on and i dont know how to control it all at once. the stress of everything just makes me crazy. i'm tired even after i sleep a good 8 hours or so. i'm hungry even after i eat. i'm constantly tired but i can't get to sleep before 2AM every night.
i want this all to just be done. i want to be done with BU. i want to be done with school. i want to start my career. i want my life to make sense. i want my goals to be fulfilled. i don't want to feel like i feel anymore.
i talked to a friend about this. most of it at least. and yea, i do have a lot on my plate. it always seems that i work better that wy, but lately, it just hasn't been working out that way.
i'm behind in 2-3 classes right now.. that's half of my classes. i have to go talk to my advisor about classes for next semester. i have to start thinking, researching grad schools again. i have to take the GRE's, i have to apply to grad schools. i have to graduate from BU. i have to get myself out of debt. i have to fend for myself.
basically, i have to be an adult. yes, i know that there are people my age that are already in that phase of life, but honestly, this is all moving so quickly that i feel like i cant keep up with it.
like this month: october. where the fuck did it go!?!? i feel like yesterday was the 1st of the month and the month was just beginning. i mean seriously. i can't do anything to make it slow down but it feels like it is constantly speeding up.
i should be finishing the Press Release that was due last week and finishing a paper that was due like 2 weeks ago and working on another paper that was due about 2 weeks agao as well.
my motivation. gone. not there. even just typing this is making me tired.