people are bastard-covered bastards with bastard filling.
i has a hat.
Originally uploaded by ivyravenwolf life has been manic lately.
i lose a folf disc.
i find a folf disc.
i get an awesome hat.
i'm in a lot of pain.
i'm excited to play in the ocean.
i really don't want to drive for four whole days.
i had a nice time tonight at the bbq with friends and throwing discs after.
i had to wash my dog because he rolled in a rotting skunk carcass and now my house/car/clothes/life stink(s).
i went to the farmer's market with friends this morning. it was nice and relaxing.
i am seriously bothered by someone i used to hang out with.
my neighbors that moved in at 11pm locked me out of my house until 3pm.
my shoes gave me a huge friction burn (?) and it hurts a lot.
i keep hating life and then good things happen, then it goes to shit again.
i'm worrying too much about things i shouldn't. things i can't control. i'm afraid of losing people i care about even though there's nothing i can do to stop it. i keep wanting to live in the past and go back to things (or people) i know aren't good for me. i'm tired and frustrated a lot of the time. my temper gets to me and i take it out on myself or the dog. i know it's not his fault he's fucking crazy but it's really wearing me down again and i don't know what to do other than crate him when he's bad or put him outside when he's annoying the hell out of me. i feel like i have too many responsibilities and everything's piling up and falling down on top of me.
i wish i could just relax and not worry about everything. i keep playing ffxi because it's distracting and i can have short-term goals that i can actually accomplish in a reasonable amount of time. it makes me feel like i can actually start AND finish something and i see results. i think that the fact that it's a fucking VIDEO GAME is probably not healthy. at least now i'm pretty much only talking to people i actually know instead of making friends with people i'll never even meet.
i'm out of things to smoke and it's making life a lot more difficult, as well. drinking doesn't do it for me. just makes me feel sick and greasy and tired. i hope i can get the rotten skunk stink out of my car before i have to drive 2 days straight with my dog.
i need to sleep now. wish me luck, i feel like i'm failing