(no subject)
Tom and I are still trying to figure out this whole wedding ordeal. We have three options right now.
Option A: Have the ceremony at CenterStage, (since we already gave them a hefty deposit), run and do pictures at Manito Park ($300) and then have the casual backyard party at Tom's parents (catered - ~$1000)
Option B: Have the wedding at Manito Park, have pictures there ($300), then move to Tom's parents (~$1000), (but say goodbye to the $500 deposit at CS)
Option C: Have the wedding/reception both at CS, but cut our guestlist down to 50 people max (1/3-1/4 of what it is now) so that we can afford to pay our mortgage. (~$3000)
Option L: Go to Vegas! Who's coming?!
We are talking to Tom's parents this week (Pam is out of town right now) and seeing what they think. Either they agree with us that we should live within our means and cut a huge chunk of the families out of the guest list, or they offer to help us fund their siblings meals. I am trying not to feel a huge amount of guilt, because Pam has already told everyone and their neighbors about the wedding and I HATE disappointing people ( I also hate taking people's money, so there is guilt there too) (plus, traditionally, if anyone should be giving money it's MY family, but it's not a possibility) but also, I realize what a crock it is that we buy into this pretty princess wedding bullshit. Logically, i KNOW it's not about the favors and flowers and place settings - but still, I would be lying if I said it doesn't preoccupy me. I know my desire for these things is built on advertising and class envy, and I know I should be above all that shit, but it's still hard to let go of it. So, i feel guilty about buying into this illusion of a wedding, and losing sight of what it is about.
Weddings shouldn't have so much guilt around them.
So: here is my plan. Tom, Ella and I will be there. Maybe there will be food, maybe there will be flowers, maybe there will be sunshine and birds and fluffy white clouds. But mainly, it will be the Tom and I, with Ella at our feet, a family celebrating our commitment to each other, and to our futures. And there will be cake, because we like cake.
Option A: Have the ceremony at CenterStage, (since we already gave them a hefty deposit), run and do pictures at Manito Park ($300) and then have the casual backyard party at Tom's parents (catered - ~$1000)
Option B: Have the wedding at Manito Park, have pictures there ($300), then move to Tom's parents (~$1000), (but say goodbye to the $500 deposit at CS)
Option C: Have the wedding/reception both at CS, but cut our guestlist down to 50 people max (1/3-1/4 of what it is now) so that we can afford to pay our mortgage. (~$3000)
Option L: Go to Vegas! Who's coming?!
We are talking to Tom's parents this week (Pam is out of town right now) and seeing what they think. Either they agree with us that we should live within our means and cut a huge chunk of the families out of the guest list, or they offer to help us fund their siblings meals. I am trying not to feel a huge amount of guilt, because Pam has already told everyone and their neighbors about the wedding and I HATE disappointing people ( I also hate taking people's money, so there is guilt there too) (plus, traditionally, if anyone should be giving money it's MY family, but it's not a possibility) but also, I realize what a crock it is that we buy into this pretty princess wedding bullshit. Logically, i KNOW it's not about the favors and flowers and place settings - but still, I would be lying if I said it doesn't preoccupy me. I know my desire for these things is built on advertising and class envy, and I know I should be above all that shit, but it's still hard to let go of it. So, i feel guilty about buying into this illusion of a wedding, and losing sight of what it is about.
Weddings shouldn't have so much guilt around them.
So: here is my plan. Tom, Ella and I will be there. Maybe there will be food, maybe there will be flowers, maybe there will be sunshine and birds and fluffy white clouds. But mainly, it will be the Tom and I, with Ella at our feet, a family celebrating our commitment to each other, and to our futures. And there will be cake, because we like cake.