(no subject)
Sometimes I feel like there's so much I want to say, but I just don't know how to put the random mess of thoughts and ideas in my head into words.
I realized how lately it's been hard for me to express myself. Having two journals can be a great thing. I have a public one that anyone can read, and then I have this one, which I can lock and only allow a selected few individuals to read. But I find it harder and harder to post anything worth reading in the public journal. It's mostly just knitting updates, which I admit don't interest the majority of my friends. Jesi, Sara, and my MIL are exceptions.
I found out this weekend a casual friend of mine (more of a friend of a friend, but I dig her) also has an LJ. I found hers. I considered friending her but then the fear of someone reading my journal who has regular interactions with me...it just freaked me out a little. Is that normal? I appreciate the privacy the little 'friends only' option affords me, even though there's nothing particularly juicy or interesting about my entries. I am such an incredibly private person and it's so therapeutic for me to have a 'safe' place to purge. Out of guilt I decided to not read hers. She has a public blog too, like me, so I figure if she wants me to read her LJ she'll give me the link.
I have felt so introverted lately, which is unlike me. Not in a moody, sad way. Just in a 'I want to be alone right now' sort of way. Maybe it has something to do with having a larger circle of friends than I've had in a long time. I feel like there are a lot of people who want chunks of my time and it leaves me feeling exhausted. My mom never understood why I spent so much of my time in high school shut in my room, alone, listening to music and doing nothing. I ache for that sort of solitude sometimes. I'm a thinker, and sometimes I just need to be alone. To think. About stuff.
I realized how lately it's been hard for me to express myself. Having two journals can be a great thing. I have a public one that anyone can read, and then I have this one, which I can lock and only allow a selected few individuals to read. But I find it harder and harder to post anything worth reading in the public journal. It's mostly just knitting updates, which I admit don't interest the majority of my friends. Jesi, Sara, and my MIL are exceptions.
I found out this weekend a casual friend of mine (more of a friend of a friend, but I dig her) also has an LJ. I found hers. I considered friending her but then the fear of someone reading my journal who has regular interactions with me...it just freaked me out a little. Is that normal? I appreciate the privacy the little 'friends only' option affords me, even though there's nothing particularly juicy or interesting about my entries. I am such an incredibly private person and it's so therapeutic for me to have a 'safe' place to purge. Out of guilt I decided to not read hers. She has a public blog too, like me, so I figure if she wants me to read her LJ she'll give me the link.
I have felt so introverted lately, which is unlike me. Not in a moody, sad way. Just in a 'I want to be alone right now' sort of way. Maybe it has something to do with having a larger circle of friends than I've had in a long time. I feel like there are a lot of people who want chunks of my time and it leaves me feeling exhausted. My mom never understood why I spent so much of my time in high school shut in my room, alone, listening to music and doing nothing. I ache for that sort of solitude sometimes. I'm a thinker, and sometimes I just need to be alone. To think. About stuff.