we're gonna burn this city, burn this city...

[ivy_waits]

i've got to get out of here. my anxiety is out of control lately. i'm feeling overwhelmed by the application process to all of these universities. i'm burned out on school and i'm feeling trapped by this tiny apartment. i'm drowning in debt and it keeps me up at night, among other things. my friends feel a thousand miles away and it occurs to me

Comments

[antenoranacht]

Getting ready for such a major change is always stressful...I remember staying up at night wondering what I was going to do, unsure of where I was going to go, what I was going to study...terrified because the future was so uncertain, and filled with almost an overwhelming sadness that so much is going to end, or at the very least change dramatically.

I wish I could give you some tips on what to do, but I don't have any. As time goes on, and your ideas marinate, you'll start to put things together. not intentionally...it just happens. As you go through your daily life, you'll find yourself thinking things like "I think I would enjoy living in Philadelphia" for asolutely no reason and its wierd thoughts like that which make you aware of the picture you are creating.

Right now I have to get ready to apply for a teaching job..somewhere. I have areas picked out from NJ to Oregon.While I don't have the faintest idea where I'll end up...I'm getting used to the idea that it won't be here.

I know I'm rambling alot...so I'll just say what I do when I get nervous about debt or the uncertainty of the future. I remind myself that someday, maybe 5 years from now, I'm going to recall me, lying on the bed afraid and overwhelmed and i'll (hopefully) smile, kowing that I was nervous for no good reason.