i cry sometimes when i'm lying in bed
I've been feeling pretty stressed out (should maybe be 'stretched out') from multiple problems in my life, and so have been neglecting my journal and a lot of my online life. I come home and sleep early, or I desperately try to distract myself with other things. Today, my sister finally allowed me to hold my nephew, and it felt like it was more of a 'birthday present' sort of thing. I was still really upset with her, though, since she hadn't spoken to me all day despite us living in the same house. Hadn't even wished me a happy birthday, even though for two weeks I've been the one making friendly attempts at conversation and at least being non-hostile. The people I've talked to all agree that she's holding the baby over me as emotional blackmail/control, which...both makes me relieved and unhappy. Unhappy because she's my baby sister and I want desperately to believe that there's a chance I can get back a stronger relationship with her. Relieved because I was honestly starting to believe that I was going crazy.
Meanwhile, the news continues to alternately upset me or cause me brief moments of hope.
This was horrible, and shocking for me especially. I work with children on a daily basis, and the idea of children that age (the article said the rapists were ages 9-14) sexually molesting each other is terrifying. We don't think of children as being capable of that sort of act, or capable of understanding it enough- reading about this is a genuinely frightening peek into a culture that allows and enables rape as a normal, even negligible attack towards women. The fact that her parents aren't supporting her, that they might not want anything to do with her due to an assault that she was not to blame for, is equally upsetting. In this case, child services is most likely the best place for her.
This, however, was pretty awesome. It's most likely the only moment in my life that I will say this, but: Jimmy Carter, you rock. More people should speak up against the treatment of women in organized religion, since it's a foundation for the abuse against us. I think it can be eventually separated from the religion, but it requires massive reform, especially in religions like Islam and strict Christianity.
My birthday, meanwhile, brightened up a little after I left work. (At work, everyone forgot my birthday and thought it was the week after this one.) My family took me out to dinner at Passionfish for their awesome Thai red curry and lobster, and my sisters made me a graham cracker cake and decorated the table for my birthday. I received a pair of fancy slacks that my mom referred to as 'interview pants', bronze-colored sandals from the Banana Republic, and a Nintendo DSi. I shall have to think of what games I will purchase for it. Any ideas?
Meanwhile, the news continues to alternately upset me or cause me brief moments of hope.
This was horrible, and shocking for me especially. I work with children on a daily basis, and the idea of children that age (the article said the rapists were ages 9-14) sexually molesting each other is terrifying. We don't think of children as being capable of that sort of act, or capable of understanding it enough- reading about this is a genuinely frightening peek into a culture that allows and enables rape as a normal, even negligible attack towards women. The fact that her parents aren't supporting her, that they might not want anything to do with her due to an assault that she was not to blame for, is equally upsetting. In this case, child services is most likely the best place for her.
This, however, was pretty awesome. It's most likely the only moment in my life that I will say this, but: Jimmy Carter, you rock. More people should speak up against the treatment of women in organized religion, since it's a foundation for the abuse against us. I think it can be eventually separated from the religion, but it requires massive reform, especially in religions like Islam and strict Christianity.
My birthday, meanwhile, brightened up a little after I left work. (At work, everyone forgot my birthday and thought it was the week after this one.) My family took me out to dinner at Passionfish for their awesome Thai red curry and lobster, and my sisters made me a graham cracker cake and decorated the table for my birthday. I received a pair of fancy slacks that my mom referred to as 'interview pants', bronze-colored sandals from the Banana Republic, and a Nintendo DSi. I shall have to think of what games I will purchase for it. Any ideas?