[Fic] ATWT Ficlet, "Click your heels together"; Luke/Reid, Rated PG
Title: Click your heels together
Author: Ivorysilk
Rating: PG
Summary: An angsty part three of what has turned into a tiny ficlety series thing. Part one is here and part two is here. For the "rejection" square on my h/c bingo card.
Spoilers/Warnings: Not really. As with all my fic, all the canon is vague, and the characterization is bendy for the purposes of schmoop!
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, or this universe. I am writing this for my own self-indulgent fun.
Comments, positive or negative, are treasured. Apologies for misappropriated canon (I'm still learning, so please feel free to correct) or inaccurate medical stuff (if you tell me, I will fix!).
As always, thanks for reading.
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“Do you want it?” Luke asked, poking at the piece of chicken on his tray. It looked bland and tasteless and Reid had no doubt that it was. However, food was food, and Reid was always up for food.
“No,” said Reid instead. “Luke, I know it tastes like crap and that you feel like crap, but you have to eat, you know you do.” Luke was losing weight, and had spent the last three meals telling Reid he’d eat at the next one. Big brown eyes or no, Reid wasn’t letting him get away with it this time. “Eat the chicken, Luke, or I’m going to have to tell Murray, and he’ll get you started on the rainbow of flavours that are Ensure.”
“Reid ...”
“No. I’m not doing it, and if I leave it, he’ll know you didn’t eat it even if I don’t tell him, and you’ll be busted either way. Just chew and swallow.”
“I’m nauseous,” said Luke piteously. His voice carried almost a hint of challenge as well, but Reid ignored it.
“Aren’t the meds helping with that? I thought Murray had you on zofran--” Reid snatched up Luke’s chart from the foot of the bed, flipping through it to find what he needed.
“Yeah, he added something, but it’s giving me a headache and not helping,” said Luke petulantly. “Everything tastes funny, and the taste of most things makes me gag. And all the things I want you won’t let me have.”
“Because they’d make you feel even more sick,” retorted Reid impatiently. He’d had this argument with Luke a thousand times already. “You know your system can’t handle much on dialysis, and if this chicken makes you gag, a burger would be far worse. Luke, I swear, I’m not doing this with you anymore. Eat it, or don’t eat it and face the consequences. It’s out of my hands.”
“Why are you being so mean?” asked Luke angrily.
“Newsflash, Luke, I am mean. I’ve always been mean. Just because you are a little sick doesn’t mean that I am going to change who I am.” Reid felt like he’d been stuck in this horrible airless little room with an irritable and impossible Luke for days. Mostly because he had been. He was going to kill either himself or Luke--it was just a toss up who was going to go first.
“You could be at least a little sympathetic when I’m dying,” in a tone much too sulky to have the melodramatic effect he was clearly going for. It was lost on Reid anyway.
“Luke, for the last time, you are not dying! The dialysis is working just fine, and yes, your kidney function is down some, but that could change. Look,” he began, trying for patience, “I know you hate the dialysis--”
“Hate does not being to capture the essence of my loathing,” said Luke in a dire voice.
“Whatever, you can’t stand it, but it is a necessary evil, Luke. All the drinking and shit you did after the transplant--it never healed right. You knew there was a risk, Luke. I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault, but life sucks, and this is the end result.”
Luke sighed, looking suddenly tired. “Whatever. Are my parents still here? I wanted--”
“No,” interrupted Reid, eager for a break, “Do you want them, I--”
“No, I just wanted to see if mom knew about Ethan’s play next week. I was going to go--”
“You can’t go,” cut in Reid, frowning, “you’ve got the--”
“I know that Reid, I know! I’m not going!” snapped Luke, glaring up at Reid. “Will you relax?”
Reid ran a frustrated hand through his curly hair, and sighed. “Fine. I’m relaxed. Will you just eat the damn chicken?”
“Go to hell,” muttered Luke, looking defiant.
“Fine,” said Reid, getting up. “I must venture out into your fine metropolis of Oakdale, so your wish, your majesty. I’ll be back later.” Reid thought of three errands he could manufacture that would get him urgently out of the room, because he was going to strangle Luke in another minute.
“Fine, that’s it,” said Luke bitterly, “just go, just--”
“Luke, what the hell do you want from me?” cried Reid in anger and frustration. “I have tried--God only knows, I have tried to be patient, I have tried to be understanding, but you’re being impossible!”
“So do it. Just leave,” replied Luke, flinging the words at Reid belligerantly.
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” retorted Reid. “I’ll be back by dinner time, and then we can have this argument all over again!” Reid knew Luke was upset, but honestly--
“Why bother? You don’t want to come, you’re sick of me being sick, I can tell. Go home, and have a nice life.”
“What I’m sick of,” said Reid, looking straight at Luke, “is your attitude. Luke,” Reid tried again, almost pleading, “this isn’t like you.”
“I’ve got more news for you Reid,” said Luke in a nasty tone, “this is exactly like me. This is exactly what drove Noah--”
“Oh,” said Reid, pausing, as Luke bit off his words mid-sentence, flushing and looking away. “That’s what this is about. The sainted Mr. Mayer.”
There was a moment of awkward silence before Luke turned back, face full of shame. “Leave Noah out of this.” His eyes skated over Reid’s face and slid away.
But Reid was suddenly calm and more hopeful than he’d been in days. “You brought him up, Luke. And why is that, exactly?”
“I didn’t mean--” But Luke was losing steam, and not just because he was fading. He was too weak for this kind of argument, Reid knew. But Luke was also not going to get any better if he didn’t change his attitude, and it had been days of Luke being resistant and bitter and vicious, and Reid’s patience--never his strong suit--was growing steadily thinner. It was probably because Luke was so weak that he couldn’t guard his tongue--but at least Reid now felt like he was getting somewhere.
“Luke,” said Reid, voice commanding. “Look at me.”
“Reid,” said Luke, still not meeting Reid’s eyes, “I’m tired, I don’t want--”
“Luke,” repeated Reid, his tone gentling, “Look at me, please.”
Defeated, Luke turned towards Reid, and he looked deeply ashamed. His eyes were swimming in tears. Reid reached up and used his thumb to brush them away.
“I’m not Noah. Do you understand? I’m not him. I’m not going anywhere, no matter how grumpy and difficult you are, and no matter how sick and annoying you get. I love you. Sickness and health, baby--I’m in this for the long haul.”
Luke didn’t say anything for a long minute, and then asked, “Did you just call me baby?” Luke’s voice was teasing, but weak. He really was fading. Reid was going to have to let the chicken go.
“No. It was an expression. You want to lie down?” Reid shifted the table out of the way, using the controls to ease Luke’s bed back down as he spoke.
“Are you going?” Luke was blinking hard. Reid fought to keep his expression blank, not certain if he wanted to laugh or cry, and knowing either would freak out Luke.
“I can wait until you’ve reached the land of Nod,” he said softly. “I really do have a couple of things to do, but I really will be back.”
“Okay,” said Luke, clearly struggling to keep his eyes open. “Just stay for a minute.”
“Luke,” said Reid, “I’m here as long as you need me. You have to know that. I don’t lie, and I don’t just say things to hear the sound of my own voice.”
“Actually, you do.” Luke’s eyes had closed, and his voice was soft, but he was smiling even as he was falling asleep.
But even if Luke couldn’t see him, Reid couldn’t help but smile back, knowing Luke would be able to hear it in his voice. He couldn’t ever resist Luke’s smiles. “Okay, sometimes I do. But not about this. Go to sleep, okay?”
“Okay. Just wait a minute.” Luke’s hand twitched at his side, groping, and Reid caught it in his own.
“Luke, I’m here, all right. I love you. I’m not leaving. I promise. All right?” Reid squeezed the hand in his own. It was cold, and he rubbed Luke’s fingers gently, trying to get the blood circulating. Luke’s hands were still swollen.
“All right,” whispered Luke, his voice thready. “Could you--I’m sorry, but could you stay for a bit? I know you have--”
“Luke,” said Reid gently, “if you need me, you know I’ll stay. Stop fighting, and go to sleep now. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
But Luke had lost his battle, and had already fallen asleep. Reid wasn’t sure if Luke had heard him, but either way, and as much as he itched for a moment of respite, he wasn’t about to leave. Mentally, resisting the urge to pick up the phone and dial randomly, he reviewed his contacts list and wondered if there was someone he could call, someone who could help. But Katie had had too much hospital drama in her life in the past few months and besides, she had Jacob, and Reid had few other real friends in this town. Sure, people might have shown up to his birthday party and to their holiday party and whatever, but that was because of Luke, not him. There was no one he really felt comfortable calling. No one but the man lying uncomfortably unconscious in the hospital bed in front of him.
Sighing, Reid got up and went over to the window, where behind the impermeable glass, he could see the hospital courtyard. People were sitting in the bright autumn sunlight, laughing and smiling and eating their sandwiches. It seemed insurmountably far. He didn’t know where to go. Even the house where they lived was empty right now.
Reid leaned his forehead against the cool glass, thought of ruby slippers, and wished for home.
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Author: Ivorysilk
Rating: PG
Summary: An angsty part three of what has turned into a tiny ficlety series thing. Part one is here and part two is here. For the "rejection" square on my h/c bingo card.
Spoilers/Warnings: Not really. As with all my fic, all the canon is vague, and the characterization is bendy for the purposes of schmoop!
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, or this universe. I am writing this for my own self-indulgent fun.
Comments, positive or negative, are treasured. Apologies for misappropriated canon (I'm still learning, so please feel free to correct) or inaccurate medical stuff (if you tell me, I will fix!).
As always, thanks for reading.
*************************************************
**********************************
“Do you want it?” Luke asked, poking at the piece of chicken on his tray. It looked bland and tasteless and Reid had no doubt that it was. However, food was food, and Reid was always up for food.
“No,” said Reid instead. “Luke, I know it tastes like crap and that you feel like crap, but you have to eat, you know you do.” Luke was losing weight, and had spent the last three meals telling Reid he’d eat at the next one. Big brown eyes or no, Reid wasn’t letting him get away with it this time. “Eat the chicken, Luke, or I’m going to have to tell Murray, and he’ll get you started on the rainbow of flavours that are Ensure.”
“Reid ...”
“No. I’m not doing it, and if I leave it, he’ll know you didn’t eat it even if I don’t tell him, and you’ll be busted either way. Just chew and swallow.”
“I’m nauseous,” said Luke piteously. His voice carried almost a hint of challenge as well, but Reid ignored it.
“Aren’t the meds helping with that? I thought Murray had you on zofran--” Reid snatched up Luke’s chart from the foot of the bed, flipping through it to find what he needed.
“Yeah, he added something, but it’s giving me a headache and not helping,” said Luke petulantly. “Everything tastes funny, and the taste of most things makes me gag. And all the things I want you won’t let me have.”
“Because they’d make you feel even more sick,” retorted Reid impatiently. He’d had this argument with Luke a thousand times already. “You know your system can’t handle much on dialysis, and if this chicken makes you gag, a burger would be far worse. Luke, I swear, I’m not doing this with you anymore. Eat it, or don’t eat it and face the consequences. It’s out of my hands.”
“Why are you being so mean?” asked Luke angrily.
“Newsflash, Luke, I am mean. I’ve always been mean. Just because you are a little sick doesn’t mean that I am going to change who I am.” Reid felt like he’d been stuck in this horrible airless little room with an irritable and impossible Luke for days. Mostly because he had been. He was going to kill either himself or Luke--it was just a toss up who was going to go first.
“You could be at least a little sympathetic when I’m dying,” in a tone much too sulky to have the melodramatic effect he was clearly going for. It was lost on Reid anyway.
“Luke, for the last time, you are not dying! The dialysis is working just fine, and yes, your kidney function is down some, but that could change. Look,” he began, trying for patience, “I know you hate the dialysis--”
“Hate does not being to capture the essence of my loathing,” said Luke in a dire voice.
“Whatever, you can’t stand it, but it is a necessary evil, Luke. All the drinking and shit you did after the transplant--it never healed right. You knew there was a risk, Luke. I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault, but life sucks, and this is the end result.”
Luke sighed, looking suddenly tired. “Whatever. Are my parents still here? I wanted--”
“No,” interrupted Reid, eager for a break, “Do you want them, I--”
“No, I just wanted to see if mom knew about Ethan’s play next week. I was going to go--”
“You can’t go,” cut in Reid, frowning, “you’ve got the--”
“I know that Reid, I know! I’m not going!” snapped Luke, glaring up at Reid. “Will you relax?”
Reid ran a frustrated hand through his curly hair, and sighed. “Fine. I’m relaxed. Will you just eat the damn chicken?”
“Go to hell,” muttered Luke, looking defiant.
“Fine,” said Reid, getting up. “I must venture out into your fine metropolis of Oakdale, so your wish, your majesty. I’ll be back later.” Reid thought of three errands he could manufacture that would get him urgently out of the room, because he was going to strangle Luke in another minute.
“Fine, that’s it,” said Luke bitterly, “just go, just--”
“Luke, what the hell do you want from me?” cried Reid in anger and frustration. “I have tried--God only knows, I have tried to be patient, I have tried to be understanding, but you’re being impossible!”
“So do it. Just leave,” replied Luke, flinging the words at Reid belligerantly.
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” retorted Reid. “I’ll be back by dinner time, and then we can have this argument all over again!” Reid knew Luke was upset, but honestly--
“Why bother? You don’t want to come, you’re sick of me being sick, I can tell. Go home, and have a nice life.”
“What I’m sick of,” said Reid, looking straight at Luke, “is your attitude. Luke,” Reid tried again, almost pleading, “this isn’t like you.”
“I’ve got more news for you Reid,” said Luke in a nasty tone, “this is exactly like me. This is exactly what drove Noah--”
“Oh,” said Reid, pausing, as Luke bit off his words mid-sentence, flushing and looking away. “That’s what this is about. The sainted Mr. Mayer.”
There was a moment of awkward silence before Luke turned back, face full of shame. “Leave Noah out of this.” His eyes skated over Reid’s face and slid away.
But Reid was suddenly calm and more hopeful than he’d been in days. “You brought him up, Luke. And why is that, exactly?”
“I didn’t mean--” But Luke was losing steam, and not just because he was fading. He was too weak for this kind of argument, Reid knew. But Luke was also not going to get any better if he didn’t change his attitude, and it had been days of Luke being resistant and bitter and vicious, and Reid’s patience--never his strong suit--was growing steadily thinner. It was probably because Luke was so weak that he couldn’t guard his tongue--but at least Reid now felt like he was getting somewhere.
“Luke,” said Reid, voice commanding. “Look at me.”
“Reid,” said Luke, still not meeting Reid’s eyes, “I’m tired, I don’t want--”
“Luke,” repeated Reid, his tone gentling, “Look at me, please.”
Defeated, Luke turned towards Reid, and he looked deeply ashamed. His eyes were swimming in tears. Reid reached up and used his thumb to brush them away.
“I’m not Noah. Do you understand? I’m not him. I’m not going anywhere, no matter how grumpy and difficult you are, and no matter how sick and annoying you get. I love you. Sickness and health, baby--I’m in this for the long haul.”
Luke didn’t say anything for a long minute, and then asked, “Did you just call me baby?” Luke’s voice was teasing, but weak. He really was fading. Reid was going to have to let the chicken go.
“No. It was an expression. You want to lie down?” Reid shifted the table out of the way, using the controls to ease Luke’s bed back down as he spoke.
“Are you going?” Luke was blinking hard. Reid fought to keep his expression blank, not certain if he wanted to laugh or cry, and knowing either would freak out Luke.
“I can wait until you’ve reached the land of Nod,” he said softly. “I really do have a couple of things to do, but I really will be back.”
“Okay,” said Luke, clearly struggling to keep his eyes open. “Just stay for a minute.”
“Luke,” said Reid, “I’m here as long as you need me. You have to know that. I don’t lie, and I don’t just say things to hear the sound of my own voice.”
“Actually, you do.” Luke’s eyes had closed, and his voice was soft, but he was smiling even as he was falling asleep.
But even if Luke couldn’t see him, Reid couldn’t help but smile back, knowing Luke would be able to hear it in his voice. He couldn’t ever resist Luke’s smiles. “Okay, sometimes I do. But not about this. Go to sleep, okay?”
“Okay. Just wait a minute.” Luke’s hand twitched at his side, groping, and Reid caught it in his own.
“Luke, I’m here, all right. I love you. I’m not leaving. I promise. All right?” Reid squeezed the hand in his own. It was cold, and he rubbed Luke’s fingers gently, trying to get the blood circulating. Luke’s hands were still swollen.
“All right,” whispered Luke, his voice thready. “Could you--I’m sorry, but could you stay for a bit? I know you have--”
“Luke,” said Reid gently, “if you need me, you know I’ll stay. Stop fighting, and go to sleep now. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
But Luke had lost his battle, and had already fallen asleep. Reid wasn’t sure if Luke had heard him, but either way, and as much as he itched for a moment of respite, he wasn’t about to leave. Mentally, resisting the urge to pick up the phone and dial randomly, he reviewed his contacts list and wondered if there was someone he could call, someone who could help. But Katie had had too much hospital drama in her life in the past few months and besides, she had Jacob, and Reid had few other real friends in this town. Sure, people might have shown up to his birthday party and to their holiday party and whatever, but that was because of Luke, not him. There was no one he really felt comfortable calling. No one but the man lying uncomfortably unconscious in the hospital bed in front of him.
Sighing, Reid got up and went over to the window, where behind the impermeable glass, he could see the hospital courtyard. People were sitting in the bright autumn sunlight, laughing and smiling and eating their sandwiches. It seemed insurmountably far. He didn’t know where to go. Even the house where they lived was empty right now.
Reid leaned his forehead against the cool glass, thought of ruby slippers, and wished for home.
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