Depressed and Stressed
I woke up today with an incredible feeling of depression and mega stress just looming over me. It was like a thick cloud that wouldn't, and still hasn't fully left. Yes, it's 8:51 am and I'm not in classes. Instead I'm here and moping. I just don't feel right. It's not really physical, my body for once feels fine and isn't really sick. It's all in my head. Yes, I think I'm missing a lab which will suck. Shae and James will likely be angry with me because I'm not there. Well I'm sorry that I feel low. Very low. It means I'll have to catch up on this lab next week, but I'll do it even if I have to stay after classes. I just hope it doesn't have to be with a partner. If it does, well I'm probably screwed. *sighs*
I had a dream. It was just so vivid. All of my past best friends were in it. I went through kindergarten to grade two, playing with my friend Corynn Waddick. Then I relived her leaving to Chatam and finally to Vancouver. Then Erin Renolds was in it. We were best friends from grade 2 until grade 5. But this time we were older, and I saw her somewhere. I was crying, asking her why couldn't she stay. She said she had to leave. She said she had to go and drove off in her car. I tried giving her my contact information so we could keep in touch. Then I remember waiting and she never did. Then I saw Arvin and Ben, and we were hanging out and having fun together, but they too finally left.
The whole dream left me depressed this morning. I'm so used to having so many close friends, and a best friend. I don't now, though. I miss my family a lot. More then I thought I would. All I felt like today was sleeping. Just sleeping.
I just feel depressed. Very much so. And my stress levels have hit the roof. I'm going to try doing something productive today and study or work on my project later.
Yeah. I know I disallowed comments. This journal isn't for pity or trying to get people to comment. It's for me really. I miss having friends that are physcially there. I don't really have any, anymore..
I had a dream. It was just so vivid. All of my past best friends were in it. I went through kindergarten to grade two, playing with my friend Corynn Waddick. Then I relived her leaving to Chatam and finally to Vancouver. Then Erin Renolds was in it. We were best friends from grade 2 until grade 5. But this time we were older, and I saw her somewhere. I was crying, asking her why couldn't she stay. She said she had to leave. She said she had to go and drove off in her car. I tried giving her my contact information so we could keep in touch. Then I remember waiting and she never did. Then I saw Arvin and Ben, and we were hanging out and having fun together, but they too finally left.
The whole dream left me depressed this morning. I'm so used to having so many close friends, and a best friend. I don't now, though. I miss my family a lot. More then I thought I would. All I felt like today was sleeping. Just sleeping.
I just feel depressed. Very much so. And my stress levels have hit the roof. I'm going to try doing something productive today and study or work on my project later.
Yeah. I know I disallowed comments. This journal isn't for pity or trying to get people to comment. It's for me really. I miss having friends that are physcially there. I don't really have any, anymore..