My Born This Way Review
SO. We all know what today is: the release of Lady GaGa's newest album Born This Way. After listening to the big release, I decided to write a track-by-track review on it. Some of you are probably like:
I DO NOT CARE.
Especially if you don't like GaGa. But you're GONNA care in a second cause there's a complementary Paul Sexley gif hidden somewhere in the review under the cut, along with another Jared Bangalecki gif, with a touch of Misha Cummins and Jensen Unfles. *pulls you in* (I take credit for the awful sex names, I came up with them off the bat; you get the idea tho: sexy, it's in here. Interested?) So I've got LOTS of words (tl;dr), pretty gifs, and a few vids if you're curious to hear some tracks. Also, comment to tell me what you think of the album, tell me your favorite tracks, OR tell me why you think it sucks.
I was one of those people who raised their eyebrows at GaGa saying this would be "the best album of the decade", but I just ignored the statement and wanted to listen to the album myself. To be honest, my expectations were lowered by the singles she decided to put out. They were not as great as, say, the singles from The Fame Monster. Not by a long shot. But I remained hopeful that the rest of the album would be much better, and I wasn't let down. The majority of the album is fantastic, in my opinion, and of course, completely danceable.
1. Marry The Night (8/10) - It's a good opener to the album. Sounds really sweet, and I love the piano. It loses me somewhere in the middle, though, so that knocks off a couple points. It starts getting interesting when it gets to the last minute where it changes the tone a little. Makes me wanna snap my fingers along and dance to it, and that's what I like.
2. Born This Way (6/10) - We've all heard this one, and many of us had mixed emotions about the song. Honestly, who currs if it sounds like Madonna. I sure don't. I just care about what this song by GAGA sounds like, and honestly... ehhh. My opinion hasn't changed since February, GaGa has had better singles. I get that this is the title track, but she shoulda chosen a better first single or DONE better, whichever one. It's cheesy and just doesn't grab me like past songs of hers have. I DO like when it gets to this part, though:
"No matter gay, straight, or bi, lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track
Baby, I was born to survive
No matter black, white, or beige, chola or orient made
I'm on the right track
Baby, I was born to be brave"
That had a great beat.
3. Government Hooker (20/10) - BEST. TRACK. ON THE ALBUM. PERIOD. It's hot, it's loud, it's proud, it's just the perfect dance track. Did I mention hot? This was one of the tracks I couldn't resist downloading early when the album was leaked last week. Been listening to it over and over again since, and I have not gotten sick of it. This will be one of the songs I'm posting the audio to, so if you haven't heard it, I strongly recommend you listen to it below:
4. Judas (9/10) - We've all heard this one as well. Honestly, when I first heard it, I was disappointed again. Mostly because the production just seemed hazy, not that clear. The production didn't seem as sharp as her last two albums were. But now that I've listened to it more (over a thousand times), I've grown to really love it. I think it's one of the stand-out tracks, despite the uh, interesting religious lyrics. But you hear a lot of religious references throughout the album anyway, so whatever.
5. Americano (3/10) - Umm... I don't get the point of this song. It's a standout, but not a particularly great one. This song is one of the worst, IMO, and one I will delete from my iTunes. I can't dance to it, and it does not fit the tone of the entire album. This is on my list of GaGa's worst songs ever, right beside Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) and Brown Eyes.
6. Hair (7/10) - I feel like I'm still on the fence about this song. I LOATHED it when I first previewed it on iTunes, mostly cause the chorus was just... ugh. But after hearing the whole thing, it sounds good but ridiculous at the same time. I can't decide. So I just went with a 7. I'm sure I'll love it for some inane reason overtime. I think the good thing I'm hearing is the second verse. The second verse rocks, ngl. It also makes me wanna dance against my will, unlike Americano.
7. Scheiße (10/10) - This was another one of the songs I listened to all throughout the past week. I remember when the 9-minute remix came out sometime last summer, and I remember hating it. But after hearing the ORIGINAL (this one), I think it's just as fucking hot as Gov't Hooker. It's the PERFECT runway song, that is a given. Also, I'm of German descent, so I can't help but be fond of it. :D Listen to it below:
8. Bloody Mary (10/10) - My God. This song is DIFFERENT than others GaGa has done, and in a GOOD way. I instantly heart-eyed when I heard this song. Bloody Mary is one of my favorite lore, and this is just such a fascinating and somewhat hypnotizing song. I always imagine a scenario for a video of this song; it involves GaGa & Bloody Mary having a dance-off during the bridge, GaGa having bloody hands and becoming Bloody Mary at the end. I always just have those images in my head while listening. lol I STRONGLY suggest you listen below:
"I won't cry for you... I won't crucify the things you dooo..."
9. Black Jesus † Amen Fashion [Special Edition Track] (10/10) - Unf, yet another hot song. I heard this one for the first time today and loved it instantly. Another one I can dance to, and it has a really unique beat. It keeps changing throughout the song and keeps getting more interesting. "JESUS IS THE NEW BLACK" <-- lol at that lyric.
Misha & Jensen love this song, too:
10. Bad Kids (8/10) - It started off all badass and rock, and then it turned to the chorus... two words: bubblegum pop. lol that chorus. Then it goes back to the hard-hitting verses. It reminds me of Boys Boys Boys, with the badass verses and the light-as-fuck chorus. Good thing I love Boys Boys Boys; I'll eventually love Bad Kids. But in the meantime, I call this song filler.
11. Fashion Of His Love [Special Edition Track] (7/10) - I think I'll grow to love this song eventually. It just lost me somewhere in there. I couldn't pay attention much. Give me some time alone with it, I can sense it'll be a grower. Again, I calls it filler.
12. Highway Unicorn (Road To Love) (9/10) - lol Yes, I know, the title. But who currs. I knew from the beginning, ever since I saw this track title, the song would kick ass. It's definitely different. It has underlying hard beats and flows quite smoothly. I can ignore the lyrics being about a pony (or a metaphor, whatever), cause the song sounds gorgeous.
"RIDE RIDE, PONY, RIDE RIDE. RIDE RIDE, PONY, TONIGHT"
13. Heavy Metal Lover (10/10) - Mmm, this song is like bliss to me. It's so very deliciously vibe-y, and I just love it so much. It's addicting. Another song I had to download right away. Here's your adorable Paul gif:
And seriously, watch that gif while listening to this song. His 'dancing' really fits with this song. I open this gif while the song plays all the time. I'm such a dork, I dance with Paul to this. lol
14. Electric Chapel (10/10) - Another vibe-y track that sounds so completely scrumptious. It's probably the most rock-ish song on this album, with that awesome guitar in here. I have a feeling I'll get addicted to this song in the very near future. It's just so GOOD.
15. The Queen [Special Edition Track] (6/10) - I don't know... it sounded good, I guess. I wouldn't know cause I was really, really bored. The song just dragged on. Shorten it down a little bit, GaGa. I lost interest after a few minutes.
16. Yoü And I (9/10) - The only real ballad on the album that doesn't really sound much like a ballad. I like. It had the sound of being slow but still upbeat. This might just compete with Speechless (which was flawless, btw). I'm mighty impressed, GaGa.
17. The Edge Of Glory (7/10) - Eh. I do like it. It's staying on my iPod. It's just another cheesy song; not as good as Highway Unicorn but better than Born This Way. By the end of the album, I'm sick of being preached at. lol And I think the sax shoulda been replaced with a guitar. I'm not changing my mind. The 80's feel rewards it some points.
There's also 5 remixes that come with the special edition, but I don't feel any of them are worth reviewing. Especially that 'country road' version of BTW... just. no. If you're gonna make it a country song, GaGa, re-record the vocals at least. The Judas & Marry The Night remixes are just bad, and (Sammy.gif) I DO NOT CARE about the rest.
I give Born This Way, overall & NOT counting the remixes, a rating of 8.7/10 (not a legitimate average, just a number & a decimal that felt right). Except for a few disappointing tracks, I think GaGa really won with this one. Another surefire success, we all know that. Again, if you'd like, tell me your opinions in the comments below.
Meanwhile, Jared and I will be gettin down to Government Hookah:
I DO NOT CARE.
Especially if you don't like GaGa. But you're GONNA care in a second cause there's a complementary Paul Sexley gif hidden somewhere in the review under the cut, along with another Jared Bangalecki gif, with a touch of Misha Cummins and Jensen Unfles. *pulls you in* (I take credit for the awful sex names, I came up with them off the bat; you get the idea tho: sexy, it's in here. Interested?) So I've got LOTS of words (tl;dr), pretty gifs, and a few vids if you're curious to hear some tracks. Also, comment to tell me what you think of the album, tell me your favorite tracks, OR tell me why you think it sucks.
I was one of those people who raised their eyebrows at GaGa saying this would be "the best album of the decade", but I just ignored the statement and wanted to listen to the album myself. To be honest, my expectations were lowered by the singles she decided to put out. They were not as great as, say, the singles from The Fame Monster. Not by a long shot. But I remained hopeful that the rest of the album would be much better, and I wasn't let down. The majority of the album is fantastic, in my opinion, and of course, completely danceable.
1. Marry The Night (8/10) - It's a good opener to the album. Sounds really sweet, and I love the piano. It loses me somewhere in the middle, though, so that knocks off a couple points. It starts getting interesting when it gets to the last minute where it changes the tone a little. Makes me wanna snap my fingers along and dance to it, and that's what I like.
2. Born This Way (6/10) - We've all heard this one, and many of us had mixed emotions about the song. Honestly, who currs if it sounds like Madonna. I sure don't. I just care about what this song by GAGA sounds like, and honestly... ehhh. My opinion hasn't changed since February, GaGa has had better singles. I get that this is the title track, but she shoulda chosen a better first single or DONE better, whichever one. It's cheesy and just doesn't grab me like past songs of hers have. I DO like when it gets to this part, though:
"No matter gay, straight, or bi, lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track
Baby, I was born to survive
No matter black, white, or beige, chola or orient made
I'm on the right track
Baby, I was born to be brave"
That had a great beat.
3. Government Hooker (20/10) - BEST. TRACK. ON THE ALBUM. PERIOD. It's hot, it's loud, it's proud, it's just the perfect dance track. Did I mention hot? This was one of the tracks I couldn't resist downloading early when the album was leaked last week. Been listening to it over and over again since, and I have not gotten sick of it. This will be one of the songs I'm posting the audio to, so if you haven't heard it, I strongly recommend you listen to it below:
Click to view4. Judas (9/10) - We've all heard this one as well. Honestly, when I first heard it, I was disappointed again. Mostly because the production just seemed hazy, not that clear. The production didn't seem as sharp as her last two albums were. But now that I've listened to it more (over a thousand times), I've grown to really love it. I think it's one of the stand-out tracks, despite the uh, interesting religious lyrics. But you hear a lot of religious references throughout the album anyway, so whatever.
5. Americano (3/10) - Umm... I don't get the point of this song. It's a standout, but not a particularly great one. This song is one of the worst, IMO, and one I will delete from my iTunes. I can't dance to it, and it does not fit the tone of the entire album. This is on my list of GaGa's worst songs ever, right beside Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) and Brown Eyes.
6. Hair (7/10) - I feel like I'm still on the fence about this song. I LOATHED it when I first previewed it on iTunes, mostly cause the chorus was just... ugh. But after hearing the whole thing, it sounds good but ridiculous at the same time. I can't decide. So I just went with a 7. I'm sure I'll love it for some inane reason overtime. I think the good thing I'm hearing is the second verse. The second verse rocks, ngl. It also makes me wanna dance against my will, unlike Americano.
7. Scheiße (10/10) - This was another one of the songs I listened to all throughout the past week. I remember when the 9-minute remix came out sometime last summer, and I remember hating it. But after hearing the ORIGINAL (this one), I think it's just as fucking hot as Gov't Hooker. It's the PERFECT runway song, that is a given. Also, I'm of German descent, so I can't help but be fond of it. :D Listen to it below:
8. Bloody Mary (10/10) - My God. This song is DIFFERENT than others GaGa has done, and in a GOOD way. I instantly heart-eyed when I heard this song. Bloody Mary is one of my favorite lore, and this is just such a fascinating and somewhat hypnotizing song. I always imagine a scenario for a video of this song; it involves GaGa & Bloody Mary having a dance-off during the bridge, GaGa having bloody hands and becoming Bloody Mary at the end. I always just have those images in my head while listening. lol I STRONGLY suggest you listen below:
"I won't cry for you... I won't crucify the things you dooo..."
9. Black Jesus † Amen Fashion [Special Edition Track] (10/10) - Unf, yet another hot song. I heard this one for the first time today and loved it instantly. Another one I can dance to, and it has a really unique beat. It keeps changing throughout the song and keeps getting more interesting. "JESUS IS THE NEW BLACK" <-- lol at that lyric.
Misha & Jensen love this song, too:
10. Bad Kids (8/10) - It started off all badass and rock, and then it turned to the chorus... two words: bubblegum pop. lol that chorus. Then it goes back to the hard-hitting verses. It reminds me of Boys Boys Boys, with the badass verses and the light-as-fuck chorus. Good thing I love Boys Boys Boys; I'll eventually love Bad Kids. But in the meantime, I call this song filler.
11. Fashion Of His Love [Special Edition Track] (7/10) - I think I'll grow to love this song eventually. It just lost me somewhere in there. I couldn't pay attention much. Give me some time alone with it, I can sense it'll be a grower. Again, I calls it filler.
12. Highway Unicorn (Road To Love) (9/10) - lol Yes, I know, the title. But who currs. I knew from the beginning, ever since I saw this track title, the song would kick ass. It's definitely different. It has underlying hard beats and flows quite smoothly. I can ignore the lyrics being about a pony (or a metaphor, whatever), cause the song sounds gorgeous.
"RIDE RIDE, PONY, RIDE RIDE. RIDE RIDE, PONY, TONIGHT"
13. Heavy Metal Lover (10/10) - Mmm, this song is like bliss to me. It's so very deliciously vibe-y, and I just love it so much. It's addicting. Another song I had to download right away. Here's your adorable Paul gif:
And seriously, watch that gif while listening to this song. His 'dancing' really fits with this song. I open this gif while the song plays all the time. I'm such a dork, I dance with Paul to this. lol
14. Electric Chapel (10/10) - Another vibe-y track that sounds so completely scrumptious. It's probably the most rock-ish song on this album, with that awesome guitar in here. I have a feeling I'll get addicted to this song in the very near future. It's just so GOOD.
15. The Queen [Special Edition Track] (6/10) - I don't know... it sounded good, I guess. I wouldn't know cause I was really, really bored. The song just dragged on. Shorten it down a little bit, GaGa. I lost interest after a few minutes.
16. Yoü And I (9/10) - The only real ballad on the album that doesn't really sound much like a ballad. I like. It had the sound of being slow but still upbeat. This might just compete with Speechless (which was flawless, btw). I'm mighty impressed, GaGa.
17. The Edge Of Glory (7/10) - Eh. I do like it. It's staying on my iPod. It's just another cheesy song; not as good as Highway Unicorn but better than Born This Way. By the end of the album, I'm sick of being preached at. lol And I think the sax shoulda been replaced with a guitar. I'm not changing my mind. The 80's feel rewards it some points.
There's also 5 remixes that come with the special edition, but I don't feel any of them are worth reviewing. Especially that 'country road' version of BTW... just. no. If you're gonna make it a country song, GaGa, re-record the vocals at least. The Judas & Marry The Night remixes are just bad, and (Sammy.gif) I DO NOT CARE about the rest.
I give Born This Way, overall & NOT counting the remixes, a rating of 8.7/10 (not a legitimate average, just a number & a decimal that felt right). Except for a few disappointing tracks, I think GaGa really won with this one. Another surefire success, we all know that. Again, if you'd like, tell me your opinions in the comments below.
Meanwhile, Jared and I will be gettin down to Government Hookah: