Adventures on Dino-island (my awesome dream revealed)
I went to see some silly movie at the theater, but when I left to go to the bathroom, the theater started collapsing onto itself and it fell into the ocean (this actually happened in another dream, so that is pretty cool by itself). Almost everyone was still in their theater and the individual theaters trapped people and imploded to kill everyone inside. Basically everyone died and the ocean was frothing red with blood.
I washed up on an island with some gruff man that didn't want to work with me to figure out how to survive on this deserted island. Of course, since he insisted on going it alone and wandering off into the jungle, he got torn apart and eaten, alerting me to the danger of the island: dinosaurs.
Soon two other people washed up on movie theater cushions. One was Johnny and the other was a fairly attractive woman named Sandy. As soon as they got oriented, a T-rex leapt out of the jungle and roared menacingly at us all. We did the stand stock-still thing for a few horrifying minutes until a triceratops blundered onto the scene and got eaten instead, allowing us to slink off and make a run for it.
We stumbled across as huge collection of human burial mounds and skeletons from all sorts of cultures and tried to figure out what it could possibly mean when the feral pteradactyls dive bombed us. I told everyone to grab the bones to defend ourselves, and totally impaled a pterodactyl on a sharpened human femur.
The other guys bludgeoned one or two, and it was enough for us to make our escape. Making our way through the jungle, we found a curious looking fort that had been erected between some trees. It kind of sucked as a fort because there were 3 or 4 doors that could be pushed opened by nosy dinos, but it served us well in the events to come.
We settled down inside, placing the few belonging we had with us around and talked about ourselves, blahblah. An attractive man burst in with driftwood, garbage bags, and battery-operated iPod speakers.
Naturally, we had a quiet dance party to David Bowie to calm our nerves.
Anyway, we slept. I woke up earlier than everyone else, so I snuck out of the fort and dragged the pterodactyl carcass to a place near the fort, hoping the smell of blood would disguise our bodysmells. I also pulled off the pterodactyl's legs and cooked them over a small fire for breakfast.
We affirmed the link between dinosaurs and modern birds because it tasted like a turkey leg.
Later that day, the girl, Sandy, left to gather leaves for thatching the roof. Johnny left to warn her that she shouldn't be going out alone (since she is cute and defenseless and he probably hoped to get some). As he called out her name, he saw her get smashed between two head-bashers. It was a bloody splurt of awesomeness and she turned into mush.
Johnny came back to camp, distraught and splattered with blood to where me and Attractive Man are fixing up some of the forts holes with drift wood and tree sap. He shared the news, we frowned, and moved on like it didn't really matter.
Some time later, I told the group that I need to get us more supplies, and walk off. Suddenly, I was on top of the vending machines at the movie theater, screaming at the top of my lungs about how many people died, criticizing everyone for forgetting about the travesty. A manager came out and told me I'm fired, which snapped me back into sanity. I began to wonder if I was ever on a dinosaur island.
I climbed down, stopped acting like a lunatic and decided I need to go shopping for supplies. I pick up a bunch of garbage bags, vitamins, nails, a hammer, an axe, and food with long shelf-lives. Since I didn't have any money, I stole the cashiers debit card right out of her pocket and used that.
When I left the store, Attractive Man emerged from the beach, soaking wet. He had apparently swam here from the dino-island to show me the way back. We swam back to the island and it took forever. On the trip, he explained to me that the pterodactyls wanted revenge on us so they kept shitting on our fort and snapping at Johnny whenever he tried to get food. He also mentioned that he is trying to clear space on a neighboring island for us to move to.
When we got back to dino-island, a gigantic ferocious horned monster was waiting for us. (A carnotaurus, I think.)
We distracted it by throwing a flaming stick into the bushes, but it came back snarling and biting at us. We darted between its legs and I sliced its tendons with the axe that I picked up (and somehow swam hundreds of miles with). It fell with a ear-splitting howl and two t-rexes emerged from the jungle to devour it.
We used the extra garbage bags to make latex outfits and to waterproof the fort.
I helped attractive man clear forests on the other island and casually remarked that the new island was probably filled with something just as bad as dinosaurs. As I said the words, sludge-creatures that faintly resembled the aliens of Alien/Aliens/Aliencubed emerged from the riverbank and chased us off the island.
The government showed up in a helicopter one day and gunned down a bunch of mostly harmless dinosaurs. They assured us that the situation was under control, and they were super shady about it.
Attractive Man and I made out.
The end.
I washed up on an island with some gruff man that didn't want to work with me to figure out how to survive on this deserted island. Of course, since he insisted on going it alone and wandering off into the jungle, he got torn apart and eaten, alerting me to the danger of the island: dinosaurs.
Soon two other people washed up on movie theater cushions. One was Johnny and the other was a fairly attractive woman named Sandy. As soon as they got oriented, a T-rex leapt out of the jungle and roared menacingly at us all. We did the stand stock-still thing for a few horrifying minutes until a triceratops blundered onto the scene and got eaten instead, allowing us to slink off and make a run for it.
We stumbled across as huge collection of human burial mounds and skeletons from all sorts of cultures and tried to figure out what it could possibly mean when the feral pteradactyls dive bombed us. I told everyone to grab the bones to defend ourselves, and totally impaled a pterodactyl on a sharpened human femur.
The other guys bludgeoned one or two, and it was enough for us to make our escape. Making our way through the jungle, we found a curious looking fort that had been erected between some trees. It kind of sucked as a fort because there were 3 or 4 doors that could be pushed opened by nosy dinos, but it served us well in the events to come.
We settled down inside, placing the few belonging we had with us around and talked about ourselves, blahblah. An attractive man burst in with driftwood, garbage bags, and battery-operated iPod speakers.
Naturally, we had a quiet dance party to David Bowie to calm our nerves.
Anyway, we slept. I woke up earlier than everyone else, so I snuck out of the fort and dragged the pterodactyl carcass to a place near the fort, hoping the smell of blood would disguise our bodysmells. I also pulled off the pterodactyl's legs and cooked them over a small fire for breakfast.
We affirmed the link between dinosaurs and modern birds because it tasted like a turkey leg.
Later that day, the girl, Sandy, left to gather leaves for thatching the roof. Johnny left to warn her that she shouldn't be going out alone (since she is cute and defenseless and he probably hoped to get some). As he called out her name, he saw her get smashed between two head-bashers. It was a bloody splurt of awesomeness and she turned into mush.
Johnny came back to camp, distraught and splattered with blood to where me and Attractive Man are fixing up some of the forts holes with drift wood and tree sap. He shared the news, we frowned, and moved on like it didn't really matter.
Some time later, I told the group that I need to get us more supplies, and walk off. Suddenly, I was on top of the vending machines at the movie theater, screaming at the top of my lungs about how many people died, criticizing everyone for forgetting about the travesty. A manager came out and told me I'm fired, which snapped me back into sanity. I began to wonder if I was ever on a dinosaur island.
I climbed down, stopped acting like a lunatic and decided I need to go shopping for supplies. I pick up a bunch of garbage bags, vitamins, nails, a hammer, an axe, and food with long shelf-lives. Since I didn't have any money, I stole the cashiers debit card right out of her pocket and used that.
When I left the store, Attractive Man emerged from the beach, soaking wet. He had apparently swam here from the dino-island to show me the way back. We swam back to the island and it took forever. On the trip, he explained to me that the pterodactyls wanted revenge on us so they kept shitting on our fort and snapping at Johnny whenever he tried to get food. He also mentioned that he is trying to clear space on a neighboring island for us to move to.
When we got back to dino-island, a gigantic ferocious horned monster was waiting for us. (A carnotaurus, I think.)
We distracted it by throwing a flaming stick into the bushes, but it came back snarling and biting at us. We darted between its legs and I sliced its tendons with the axe that I picked up (and somehow swam hundreds of miles with). It fell with a ear-splitting howl and two t-rexes emerged from the jungle to devour it.
We used the extra garbage bags to make latex outfits and to waterproof the fort.
I helped attractive man clear forests on the other island and casually remarked that the new island was probably filled with something just as bad as dinosaurs. As I said the words, sludge-creatures that faintly resembled the aliens of Alien/Aliens/Aliencubed emerged from the riverbank and chased us off the island.
The government showed up in a helicopter one day and gunned down a bunch of mostly harmless dinosaurs. They assured us that the situation was under control, and they were super shady about it.
Attractive Man and I made out.
The end.