But No One Else Will (Standalone)
Title: But No One Else Will
Author: ivesia19
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: vague Brendon/Audrey/Ryan, Brendon/Ryan, Ryan/Keltie and hinted Brendon/Ryan/Keltie
POV: 3rd limited
Summary: Audrey’s okay with getting older. The only part of her that rebels is her hair, which falls in messy multi-colored tendrils, changing hues every time Audrey feels like getting older means growing up.
Disclaimer: Fiction. Fabrication. False. Other “f” words.
Beta: habezweikatzen
Author Notes: For takkatakkatakka because she is my favorite and loves Audrey so much that sometimes I feel the need to indulge her.
C o m e o n , e v e r y o n e t r y !
but no one else will
W h a t e v e r, I say
Y o u r p e r s o n a l i t y w i l l s t a y t h e s a m e
W h i l e m y p e r s o n a l i t y e v o l v e s !
- “I wanna know which friend will die young, so I can spend more time with them now” by Rachel Glaser
Sometimes, Audrey thinks about how her life used to be like.
When you’re young, five years seems like forever. It seems like something you can’t look back on, but Audrey isn’t young anymore.
She isn’t old. She’s still young, according to everyone who answers when she sighs and complains, but life isn’t the same anymore.
And Audrey’s okay with that. She’s okay with only going out four nights a week and sometimes forgetting where she left her keys or that she really should use a grocery list.
Audrey’s okay with getting older. The only part of her that rebels is her hair, which falls in messy multi-colored tendrils, changing hues every time Audrey feels like getting older means growing up.
But sometimes, Audrey thinks about her life five years ago. She thinks about how she was young and stupid. About how she would drink watermelon vodka from a bottle and throw her heart and secrets around, constantly stuck in a whirl of want and need and hope.
Five years ago, Audrey was rash. Snarls and kisses came easily, and she trusted everyone and no one.
Five years ago, Audrey thought that everything was perfect in its chaos and destruction, even the messy tangles of a relationship that she had found herself in. (People say that three’s a crowd, and Audrey knows that whoever said that had probably been there, too. Felt themselves squeezed out, pushed by the force of the other two).
Five years ago, Audrey had her heart broken, and she’s never really forgotten how that felt.
---
When it happens, when the Panic splits, there is a small part of Audrey that feels victorious. A dark, angry part of her twists in happiness at the fraction: Brendon on one side; Ryan on the other.
All those years ago, Brendon and Ryan had pushed her out, making the months of shared kisses and shared beds that were too small for three people seem meaningless. They had made three into two, and Audrey was left on the outside. Watching as they sang for each other. Hearing the way that their voices blended in that perfect way that happens so rarely.
Now, though, the two have split apart.
She doesn’t really care. She has her own life: new friends and lovers and dreams. She doesn’t even think about Brendon or Ryan again until she runs into Keltie.
The other girl looks…sweet. It’s the only word to describe her. Her blonde hair is soft and honey-tinted. Her eyes are bright, and when she meets Audrey, she doesn’t mention anything about Brendon or Ryan, even though that’s the only thing they have in common.
The thing about boys is that they never learn. They always make the same mistakes.
Keltie is warm and nice and gives Audrey a free shirt to promote a pair of designers she works with.
“It really brings out the color in your hair,” she says kindly, moving a couple of curls from under the neckline where they were stuck.
Audrey simultaneously wants to hit and hug this girl, and if this were five years ago, she would have a bitter barb to throw back in her face, but she just smiles and thanks her.
She doesn’t think about the way that she must have looked with Ryan. Doesn’t wonder if somewhere along the line Brendon fell into place with them (she knows he probably did. It was the only way Brendon and Ryan can justify what they feel, having that third person - that interchangeable girl).
“Thanks,” is all she says, and she smiles when Keltie says she likes her bracelet that reads “Karma is a bitch”.
------
Audrey runs into Brendon long after the split. It’s at a Whole Foods, of all places. Whenever Audrey had imagined a run-in, one that is more than just passing by and pretending not to know each other at parties or shows or whatever, she doesn’t think of the bright lights of a grocery store or that she’ll be looking at expiration dates for almond milk.
“Hey,” the familiar voice says, and Audrey looks up from where she’s leaning against the rows of packaged food and sees Brendon.
His eyes are just as bright as they were five years ago, but Audrey knows that’s new. She had seen him a couple of times from afar this past year. He had looked tired. Done. Now, though, his eyes have that spark, that one that he only has around Ryan, and Audrey almost doesn’t stop herself from looking around for him, but she does.
“How have you been?” Brendon asks. He grins, showing his white teeth that stand out brighter against a shirt that Audrey knows isn’t his.
It’s strange that Audrey notices. She wonders if anyone else does, too, or if she just always knew Brendon too well. Always knew Brendon with Ryan too well not to notice all the clues.
Audrey puts the almond milk in her cart and has an urge to flick her hair back, but even that is in check, tied back in a plain black hairband.
“Good,” she says, and then echoes the question back to Brendon.
“The new record finally comes out next week,” he says. “It took forever, but it’s worth it. It’s completely different from anything else we’ve done.” His voice is still young, still excited, still looking for approval.
Audrey could say so much to Brendon, but she only nods and wishes him the best. She doesn’t linger or turn the conversation to her. She doesn’t use anything she once did to pull people back to her (even if sometimes she thinks of how safe she felt between two bodies that were wrapped around her and each other).
She leaves Whole Foods feeling neither happy nor sad, and a week later, when the cd comes out, she listens to the songs, and despite the split, she hears echoes of Ryan in every track.
She doesn’t turn the cd off, though. She lets Brendon’s voice filter through her speakers, and she closes her eyes against the tone.
Other Stories
Want to prompt? Go here!
Author: ivesia19
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: vague Brendon/Audrey/Ryan, Brendon/Ryan, Ryan/Keltie and hinted Brendon/Ryan/Keltie
POV: 3rd limited
Summary: Audrey’s okay with getting older. The only part of her that rebels is her hair, which falls in messy multi-colored tendrils, changing hues every time Audrey feels like getting older means growing up.
Disclaimer: Fiction. Fabrication. False. Other “f” words.
Beta: habezweikatzen
Author Notes: For takkatakkatakka because she is my favorite and loves Audrey so much that sometimes I feel the need to indulge her.
C o m e o n , e v e r y o n e t r y !
but no one else will
W h a t e v e r, I say
Y o u r p e r s o n a l i t y w i l l s t a y t h e s a m e
W h i l e m y p e r s o n a l i t y e v o l v e s !
- “I wanna know which friend will die young, so I can spend more time with them now” by Rachel Glaser
Sometimes, Audrey thinks about how her life used to be like.
When you’re young, five years seems like forever. It seems like something you can’t look back on, but Audrey isn’t young anymore.
She isn’t old. She’s still young, according to everyone who answers when she sighs and complains, but life isn’t the same anymore.
And Audrey’s okay with that. She’s okay with only going out four nights a week and sometimes forgetting where she left her keys or that she really should use a grocery list.
Audrey’s okay with getting older. The only part of her that rebels is her hair, which falls in messy multi-colored tendrils, changing hues every time Audrey feels like getting older means growing up.
But sometimes, Audrey thinks about her life five years ago. She thinks about how she was young and stupid. About how she would drink watermelon vodka from a bottle and throw her heart and secrets around, constantly stuck in a whirl of want and need and hope.
Five years ago, Audrey was rash. Snarls and kisses came easily, and she trusted everyone and no one.
Five years ago, Audrey thought that everything was perfect in its chaos and destruction, even the messy tangles of a relationship that she had found herself in. (People say that three’s a crowd, and Audrey knows that whoever said that had probably been there, too. Felt themselves squeezed out, pushed by the force of the other two).
Five years ago, Audrey had her heart broken, and she’s never really forgotten how that felt.
---
When it happens, when the Panic splits, there is a small part of Audrey that feels victorious. A dark, angry part of her twists in happiness at the fraction: Brendon on one side; Ryan on the other.
All those years ago, Brendon and Ryan had pushed her out, making the months of shared kisses and shared beds that were too small for three people seem meaningless. They had made three into two, and Audrey was left on the outside. Watching as they sang for each other. Hearing the way that their voices blended in that perfect way that happens so rarely.
Now, though, the two have split apart.
She doesn’t really care. She has her own life: new friends and lovers and dreams. She doesn’t even think about Brendon or Ryan again until she runs into Keltie.
The other girl looks…sweet. It’s the only word to describe her. Her blonde hair is soft and honey-tinted. Her eyes are bright, and when she meets Audrey, she doesn’t mention anything about Brendon or Ryan, even though that’s the only thing they have in common.
The thing about boys is that they never learn. They always make the same mistakes.
Keltie is warm and nice and gives Audrey a free shirt to promote a pair of designers she works with.
“It really brings out the color in your hair,” she says kindly, moving a couple of curls from under the neckline where they were stuck.
Audrey simultaneously wants to hit and hug this girl, and if this were five years ago, she would have a bitter barb to throw back in her face, but she just smiles and thanks her.
She doesn’t think about the way that she must have looked with Ryan. Doesn’t wonder if somewhere along the line Brendon fell into place with them (she knows he probably did. It was the only way Brendon and Ryan can justify what they feel, having that third person - that interchangeable girl).
“Thanks,” is all she says, and she smiles when Keltie says she likes her bracelet that reads “Karma is a bitch”.
------
Audrey runs into Brendon long after the split. It’s at a Whole Foods, of all places. Whenever Audrey had imagined a run-in, one that is more than just passing by and pretending not to know each other at parties or shows or whatever, she doesn’t think of the bright lights of a grocery store or that she’ll be looking at expiration dates for almond milk.
“Hey,” the familiar voice says, and Audrey looks up from where she’s leaning against the rows of packaged food and sees Brendon.
His eyes are just as bright as they were five years ago, but Audrey knows that’s new. She had seen him a couple of times from afar this past year. He had looked tired. Done. Now, though, his eyes have that spark, that one that he only has around Ryan, and Audrey almost doesn’t stop herself from looking around for him, but she does.
“How have you been?” Brendon asks. He grins, showing his white teeth that stand out brighter against a shirt that Audrey knows isn’t his.
It’s strange that Audrey notices. She wonders if anyone else does, too, or if she just always knew Brendon too well. Always knew Brendon with Ryan too well not to notice all the clues.
Audrey puts the almond milk in her cart and has an urge to flick her hair back, but even that is in check, tied back in a plain black hairband.
“Good,” she says, and then echoes the question back to Brendon.
“The new record finally comes out next week,” he says. “It took forever, but it’s worth it. It’s completely different from anything else we’ve done.” His voice is still young, still excited, still looking for approval.
Audrey could say so much to Brendon, but she only nods and wishes him the best. She doesn’t linger or turn the conversation to her. She doesn’t use anything she once did to pull people back to her (even if sometimes she thinks of how safe she felt between two bodies that were wrapped around her and each other).
She leaves Whole Foods feeling neither happy nor sad, and a week later, when the cd comes out, she listens to the songs, and despite the split, she hears echoes of Ryan in every track.
She doesn’t turn the cd off, though. She lets Brendon’s voice filter through her speakers, and she closes her eyes against the tone.
Other Stories
Want to prompt? Go here!