Answers
Here are the answers to the questions asked here here
whyyy did you skip Ryan chained to the tree in the hippie fic?
Haha. Honestly, for me, this fic was very much like a romantic comedy in my mind. So, when I saw it unfold, it did so with fade outs and everything. While, in retrospect, it would have been great to play around more with Ryan chained to a tree, when I wrote it, I just wanted it to be a quick “oh fuck” funny moment before I moved on. Also, I didn’t think about any great ideas until I already published it. So is life!
Why did you end your BBBhow you did - was there any particular reason, or did it just feel like the right way?
I know this question well. It probably is good that I have this in a general area. So here it is: I always planned for “Grace Note” to end that way. Even before I started writing the first sentence. To me, the story is about Ryan’s progression. In the beginning, he’s a guy who is pretty much happy with letting life pass him by. He likes the status quo. He doesn’t want to change, not really. He doesn’t want to take chances. Or make choices. So the end - after he’s already made so much progress - gives him the opportunity to make a choice. And he makes one, so really, his story isn’t mine to tell anymore.
And where did the initial idea [ for your BBB] come from?
I was taking a Journalism class at the time. And hated it. Really hated it. I also was caught up in the “Are Panic breaking up?!” thing. A lot of what came together in the end is a compilation of things in my life or in the lives of people I know. Ryan’s anxieties, Brendon’s bravado, Jon’s pathetic holding onto the past, Spencer’s strong face: a lot is mostly because I wanted to explore these ideas. My best friend said that this story is probably the most telling thing I’ve ever written. I don’t think it is, but then again, maybe it is and I just don’t know it.
What was supposed to have happened The Night Before in Etude in Blue?
I know it’s vague and I didn’t spell it out. I tend to do that a lot, lol. But what happened the night before? Brendon got caught up in the moment and kissed Ryan, who, of course, promptly freaked out and got the fuck out of there.
Also, why have you only ever written Pete/Mikey as a side pairing to Ryan/Brendon? I actually wrote a story that is just Mikey/Pete. But, I’ll still answer :D I just started getting into Mikey/Pete, but I don’t think I have a good enough of an understanding of Mikey’s true character to write a whole long story about that pairing. I’d love to figure that fucker out - he’s so elusive to me. Also, everytime I write something without Ryan/Brendon in it, a little part of me dies. No, I’m just kidding. Kinda.
What is your favourite fic out of all the ones you've done? Damn. I’m really proud of a lot of stories that I’ve written. There are, though, a couple that I occasionally think about deleting, too. My favorite would probably be Hail the Seasons as They Go just because I think that everything just fell into place. The tone, the pace - I put a lot into this story, and from the reaction I got from a lot of readers, it was well worth it.
What happens to Ryan and Brendon in the Playboy!verse? If I asked nicely would you ever do a sex coda for them? (Or did I miss them having teh sex?) This was a co-write with silver-etoile. It’s funny, we wrote a lot before the original story but not after. Okay, I’ll tell you what I think happened. Ryan moves out of the mansion into a shitty apartment (to live the life of a typical starving artist) until he finally gives into Brendon’s pleading and they move in together. And a sex coda? Sorry, I don’t think so. I have so many stories right now running through my head that are giving me problems.
What about Ryan and Brendon in the kindergarten!verse? I'd love to hear about them (tehsex!) They definitely have a storybook!ending. To me, that story was a lot more fluffy than most of what I write. Eventually, Ryan tells his father. And eventually, people know about Brendon’s orientation, though he never says anything about it. Ryan and Brendon though? Are stable. Adorable even. And Ryan helps out every time Brendon pouts.
If you could write any fic, what would it be about?
Timetravel! I’m even trying it right now and it’s kicking my ass. I also wish I could write something based off a completely ‘wow, I would have NEVER thought about that before’ idea. Unfortunately, I seem to only be able to write about very mundane things. I try to make it mean something, though. Hopefully, I succeed a little.
what do you think would be the shape of things had it just been ryan to leave the band? just jon? just brendon or just spencer? even more interesting to me is what things would be like if it had been ryan and brendon to stay/leave. Just Ryan leaving? I think it would be very similar to what’s going on right now. He’s getting a lot of crap. I’ll admit that I went through my period of blaming him. If it was just Jon? I don’t think it would be that big of a deal, honestly. I think fans would take that the best. Spencer would be a little more extreme, but I think that it could be understandable that he’d want to do something else. If Brendon left? People would be on his side. No question. I think a lot of people have thought about the possibility of a Brendon solo album before. And omg, if Ryan and Brendon left together? Honeymoon!!!! Lol, fangirls would die of happiness.
why'd you pick lipgloss to use in From a Pretty Mouth?
I got a prompt for something with hot kisses. Which, when I thought about it, immediately lead me to Brendon’s lips. This snowballed in me talking to my best friend about how Brendon definitely wears lip gloss in the music video for IWSNT. And But It’s Better If You Do, too. I also have this great lip gloss that is in a beautiful container that I put on a lot. Next time you put on lip gloss, just look around and see just how many guys actually watch you do this. It’s quite hilarious.
Why don't you put hippie!Ross tied to a tree in every single fic from now on? I should! I can’t even think of a reason why I shouldn’t. Actually, Pete Wentz told me that if I used hippie!Ross again he’d send Gabe Saporta after me and my future children. I’m thinking about the kids.
would you consider writing slash involving Jon's temp replacement, Dallon Brobeck? even if its only a cameo? because honestly, he's talented, hot, and sarcastic. great character. If I get to know his character a little better, sure. Is there a primer somewhere? I don’t like to focus a story on people unless I think that I have a good grasp of what they’re about. Or what I think they’re about. For instance, I didn’t start writing Panic! Fanfiction until like six months into fandom. But Dallon seems like a cool dude. And yes, hot :D
In You Probably Couldn’t See for the Lights But You Were Looking Straight At Meat the end did Brendon ever get anything from his parents after Mary got home. Any sort of letter or acknowledgment? No. His parents pretty much wrote both of their sons off. Lost generation indeed.
why did you give brendon amnesia and not ryan? how do you think the story would differ if it had been ryan instead? The amnesia story is one of my favorites, and I spent a lot of time thinking about the roles for each character. It’s based off of the Wesley/Fred/Illyria relationship in Angel. I really suggest watching season five - it’ll break your heart. Anyway, I chose Brendon to lose his memory because I wanted the one who remembered - Ryan - to have a sense of desperate control. To me, Brendon would be overflowing with emotion, which is interesting, yes, but Ryan just seemed that much more fascinating. If it were Ryan that lost his memory? Brendon would be torn, but I think that he would transfer his feelings easier than Ryan. I chose Ryan to remember because I think he does just that - remember. Brendon tends to accept change in the ones he loves with grace. Ryan is more stubborn, and in a way, I found that more wonderfully tragic.
Why haven’t you written more bloodplay Or a gangster panic group? Or A WEREWOLF FIC? OMG Lol. I’m actually not one for bloodplay. I wrote a vampire fic because 1. Vampires are badass, especially Dandy!Brendon and 2. I was asked by…somebody…to write bloodplay. It’s not my kink though, sorry! As for a gangster or werewolf fic? I don’t think I would do either justice. I’m not well-versed enough in either fantasies and would probably just fuck up royally.
Will you start writing Brendon/Spencer now that Ryan left and is a complete tool? No. I love Spencer, but he’s not Brendon’s One. I will always stand by the belief that Ryan and Brendon were made for each other, were brought together for a reason. And even though there are obstacles now, I think they’ll come back to each other one day. I really do.
can you do a fic where one is leaving the other. but they're not together, just bffs or something. and its like. angst. a lot of angst. but not completely canon. but just. angst. your angst is the best . i miss it. Actually, I like that idea a lot. But I may have to make there be a little bit of romance. Just because :D I’ll have to think of a way to make it different from “Hail the Seasons”. But I do like this idea!
Do you like pears? I hate pears. I’m really anti-pear. Yes, in fact, I do. I’m sorry that you’re missing out on such a great fruit.
EDIT: feel free to ask more questions in the comments, if you'd like - I'll update here
In The Strip, how did you decide to have Keltie go after Brendon, when it isn't really canonical at all I had Keltie go after Brendon because I saw Brendon as the character who would go to lower moral grounds to keep his job. Something that she could no doubt also see. And everyone pretty much knew that Ryan was gay on the set - I liked the idea of a wholly homosexual Ryan. Something you don't see enough of. Also, I liked the fact that I hadn't seen much Keltie/Brendon before. Plus, honestly, at the time, I wasn't the biggest fan of Ryan/Keltie, so I didn't want to put any more of it out into the universe, lol.
Which, out of all your fics, is your least favorite? (please please do not say the one with merlin/arthur because that is most definitely in my top 10 favorite fics of all time) There are a couple that I cringe when I think about the fact that I wrote them, but to answer your question, I'm gonna have to go with You Probably Couldn’t See for the Lights But You Were Looking Straight At Me. I think that I didn't wait long enough to write it. I should have held out for a couple more months. I really like the idea - the idea of Panic as the Lost Generation - but I don't think I did it justice. If I could rewrite something, that would be the first on my list.
whyyy did you skip Ryan chained to the tree in the hippie fic?
Haha. Honestly, for me, this fic was very much like a romantic comedy in my mind. So, when I saw it unfold, it did so with fade outs and everything. While, in retrospect, it would have been great to play around more with Ryan chained to a tree, when I wrote it, I just wanted it to be a quick “oh fuck” funny moment before I moved on. Also, I didn’t think about any great ideas until I already published it. So is life!
Why did you end your BBBhow you did - was there any particular reason, or did it just feel like the right way?
I know this question well. It probably is good that I have this in a general area. So here it is: I always planned for “Grace Note” to end that way. Even before I started writing the first sentence. To me, the story is about Ryan’s progression. In the beginning, he’s a guy who is pretty much happy with letting life pass him by. He likes the status quo. He doesn’t want to change, not really. He doesn’t want to take chances. Or make choices. So the end - after he’s already made so much progress - gives him the opportunity to make a choice. And he makes one, so really, his story isn’t mine to tell anymore.
And where did the initial idea [ for your BBB] come from?
I was taking a Journalism class at the time. And hated it. Really hated it. I also was caught up in the “Are Panic breaking up?!” thing. A lot of what came together in the end is a compilation of things in my life or in the lives of people I know. Ryan’s anxieties, Brendon’s bravado, Jon’s pathetic holding onto the past, Spencer’s strong face: a lot is mostly because I wanted to explore these ideas. My best friend said that this story is probably the most telling thing I’ve ever written. I don’t think it is, but then again, maybe it is and I just don’t know it.
What was supposed to have happened The Night Before in Etude in Blue?
I know it’s vague and I didn’t spell it out. I tend to do that a lot, lol. But what happened the night before? Brendon got caught up in the moment and kissed Ryan, who, of course, promptly freaked out and got the fuck out of there.
Also, why have you only ever written Pete/Mikey as a side pairing to Ryan/Brendon? I actually wrote a story that is just Mikey/Pete. But, I’ll still answer :D I just started getting into Mikey/Pete, but I don’t think I have a good enough of an understanding of Mikey’s true character to write a whole long story about that pairing. I’d love to figure that fucker out - he’s so elusive to me. Also, everytime I write something without Ryan/Brendon in it, a little part of me dies. No, I’m just kidding. Kinda.
What is your favourite fic out of all the ones you've done? Damn. I’m really proud of a lot of stories that I’ve written. There are, though, a couple that I occasionally think about deleting, too. My favorite would probably be Hail the Seasons as They Go just because I think that everything just fell into place. The tone, the pace - I put a lot into this story, and from the reaction I got from a lot of readers, it was well worth it.
What happens to Ryan and Brendon in the Playboy!verse? If I asked nicely would you ever do a sex coda for them? (Or did I miss them having teh sex?) This was a co-write with silver-etoile. It’s funny, we wrote a lot before the original story but not after. Okay, I’ll tell you what I think happened. Ryan moves out of the mansion into a shitty apartment (to live the life of a typical starving artist) until he finally gives into Brendon’s pleading and they move in together. And a sex coda? Sorry, I don’t think so. I have so many stories right now running through my head that are giving me problems.
What about Ryan and Brendon in the kindergarten!verse? I'd love to hear about them (tehsex!) They definitely have a storybook!ending. To me, that story was a lot more fluffy than most of what I write. Eventually, Ryan tells his father. And eventually, people know about Brendon’s orientation, though he never says anything about it. Ryan and Brendon though? Are stable. Adorable even. And Ryan helps out every time Brendon pouts.
If you could write any fic, what would it be about?
Timetravel! I’m even trying it right now and it’s kicking my ass. I also wish I could write something based off a completely ‘wow, I would have NEVER thought about that before’ idea. Unfortunately, I seem to only be able to write about very mundane things. I try to make it mean something, though. Hopefully, I succeed a little.
what do you think would be the shape of things had it just been ryan to leave the band? just jon? just brendon or just spencer? even more interesting to me is what things would be like if it had been ryan and brendon to stay/leave. Just Ryan leaving? I think it would be very similar to what’s going on right now. He’s getting a lot of crap. I’ll admit that I went through my period of blaming him. If it was just Jon? I don’t think it would be that big of a deal, honestly. I think fans would take that the best. Spencer would be a little more extreme, but I think that it could be understandable that he’d want to do something else. If Brendon left? People would be on his side. No question. I think a lot of people have thought about the possibility of a Brendon solo album before. And omg, if Ryan and Brendon left together? Honeymoon!!!! Lol, fangirls would die of happiness.
why'd you pick lipgloss to use in From a Pretty Mouth?
I got a prompt for something with hot kisses. Which, when I thought about it, immediately lead me to Brendon’s lips. This snowballed in me talking to my best friend about how Brendon definitely wears lip gloss in the music video for IWSNT. And But It’s Better If You Do, too. I also have this great lip gloss that is in a beautiful container that I put on a lot. Next time you put on lip gloss, just look around and see just how many guys actually watch you do this. It’s quite hilarious.
Why don't you put hippie!Ross tied to a tree in every single fic from now on? I should! I can’t even think of a reason why I shouldn’t. Actually, Pete Wentz told me that if I used hippie!Ross again he’d send Gabe Saporta after me and my future children. I’m thinking about the kids.
would you consider writing slash involving Jon's temp replacement, Dallon Brobeck? even if its only a cameo? because honestly, he's talented, hot, and sarcastic. great character. If I get to know his character a little better, sure. Is there a primer somewhere? I don’t like to focus a story on people unless I think that I have a good grasp of what they’re about. Or what I think they’re about. For instance, I didn’t start writing Panic! Fanfiction until like six months into fandom. But Dallon seems like a cool dude. And yes, hot :D
In You Probably Couldn’t See for the Lights But You Were Looking Straight At Meat the end did Brendon ever get anything from his parents after Mary got home. Any sort of letter or acknowledgment? No. His parents pretty much wrote both of their sons off. Lost generation indeed.
why did you give brendon amnesia and not ryan? how do you think the story would differ if it had been ryan instead? The amnesia story is one of my favorites, and I spent a lot of time thinking about the roles for each character. It’s based off of the Wesley/Fred/Illyria relationship in Angel. I really suggest watching season five - it’ll break your heart. Anyway, I chose Brendon to lose his memory because I wanted the one who remembered - Ryan - to have a sense of desperate control. To me, Brendon would be overflowing with emotion, which is interesting, yes, but Ryan just seemed that much more fascinating. If it were Ryan that lost his memory? Brendon would be torn, but I think that he would transfer his feelings easier than Ryan. I chose Ryan to remember because I think he does just that - remember. Brendon tends to accept change in the ones he loves with grace. Ryan is more stubborn, and in a way, I found that more wonderfully tragic.
Why haven’t you written more bloodplay Or a gangster panic group? Or A WEREWOLF FIC? OMG Lol. I’m actually not one for bloodplay. I wrote a vampire fic because 1. Vampires are badass, especially Dandy!Brendon and 2. I was asked by…somebody…to write bloodplay. It’s not my kink though, sorry! As for a gangster or werewolf fic? I don’t think I would do either justice. I’m not well-versed enough in either fantasies and would probably just fuck up royally.
Will you start writing Brendon/Spencer now that Ryan left and is a complete tool? No. I love Spencer, but he’s not Brendon’s One. I will always stand by the belief that Ryan and Brendon were made for each other, were brought together for a reason. And even though there are obstacles now, I think they’ll come back to each other one day. I really do.
can you do a fic where one is leaving the other. but they're not together, just bffs or something. and its like. angst. a lot of angst. but not completely canon. but just. angst. your angst is the best . i miss it. Actually, I like that idea a lot. But I may have to make there be a little bit of romance. Just because :D I’ll have to think of a way to make it different from “Hail the Seasons”. But I do like this idea!
Do you like pears? I hate pears. I’m really anti-pear. Yes, in fact, I do. I’m sorry that you’re missing out on such a great fruit.
EDIT: feel free to ask more questions in the comments, if you'd like - I'll update here
In The Strip, how did you decide to have Keltie go after Brendon, when it isn't really canonical at all I had Keltie go after Brendon because I saw Brendon as the character who would go to lower moral grounds to keep his job. Something that she could no doubt also see. And everyone pretty much knew that Ryan was gay on the set - I liked the idea of a wholly homosexual Ryan. Something you don't see enough of. Also, I liked the fact that I hadn't seen much Keltie/Brendon before. Plus, honestly, at the time, I wasn't the biggest fan of Ryan/Keltie, so I didn't want to put any more of it out into the universe, lol.
Which, out of all your fics, is your least favorite? (please please do not say the one with merlin/arthur because that is most definitely in my top 10 favorite fics of all time) There are a couple that I cringe when I think about the fact that I wrote them, but to answer your question, I'm gonna have to go with You Probably Couldn’t See for the Lights But You Were Looking Straight At Me. I think that I didn't wait long enough to write it. I should have held out for a couple more months. I really like the idea - the idea of Panic as the Lost Generation - but I don't think I did it justice. If I could rewrite something, that would be the first on my list.