There's nothing ever wrong but nothing's ever right
I'm starting to scare myself again, and I am starting to think that I do need help, but I'm not quite sure of anything right now. No matter what I do, or what happens to me I am not happy, and when I am happy, or atleast think I am, I want to be sad, I don't know what is wrong with me, but i know there is something, people arent supposed to feel this way. I keep things bottled up, I can't talk to anyone about what I'm feeling because i don't even know what it is that I am feeling. I distance myself from my family and knwo nothing about anyone that are supposed to be closest to me. They know nothing about me either. My mother knows there is something wrong with me, but the only time she confronts me about it or realizes it is when she is drunk and at that point I'm too pissed off to talk to her, but who wouldnt be, mothers are supposed to be home for they're child not at the bar, I would give anything to have a strict mother who was sober and home nagging on me. Or maybe just a father in the house, that would be nice, I just want to know the feeling of having two parents at home. I'm tired of going to sleep at night hoping that some way I won't wake up in the morning.