Interesting

[ivellious]

I found one interesting piece of information today:

"Suitors can become friends. But friends will never become suitors."

Do with it what you will.

Comments

[daghi]

ah the dating theory of old cornerstone.

however i have know multiple people who have said they wished that they would have been friends with the person they're dating before they started going out. so hah!

also...so if you're not "friends" before you ask someone out, can you only ask people out who you just meet? is there like a 2-3 meeting window? what abou aquaintences? besides everyone has a different definition of the word "friend" anyway.

/rant off

[ivellious]

Let's put it this way. You cannot be friends for a year and then ask them out. It won't happen 99.9975% of the time.

[daghi]

well if you've been friends w/ someone for a year then out of blue ask them out, yeah, likely not gunna happen, however if you sense that maybe things are changing between the two of you, for whatever reason, it is very possible

like kevin said though its a case by case kind of thing

[ivellious]

And that's my point. For that to happen to MUST, any way you can, BREAK the friendship. Sounds contradicting, but you have to be able to make it very clear to the person that friends is NOT where you want to be. After you've started dating or become serious, you can go back to being friends. Being a friend must come last when it comes to this as weird as it sounds.

[lirial_baenre]

i have met a number of people out here who start to date friends... most enjoy it and very few regret it... if they don't enjoy dating then you just go back to being friends...i see it a lot around here in both guys and gals so i would say that statement is somewhat untrue but dating is a case by case situation...

[ivellious]

"Oh, Reginald... I disagree!" *zoom*... sorry, Family Guy.

Er, so, first off, I can almost guaruntee that of the friends you know who are dating, the woman was attracted to the man from the beginning. Or that they are both guys, because guys have no problems going from Aquaintence->Friend->Good friends->Lovers. That's a man's way of doing it, very practical. Women, on the other hand, sort people from the beginning. That's why as much as women hate to admit it, there really is such thing as the FriendZone(tm). "Nice guys" and "Emotional support guys" go into the friend zone.

Not to mention, you said that "if they don't enjoy dating, they go back to being friends". How many did actually work out? I'd bet that, as I said previously, 99.9975% of went back to being friends. Why? Because the guy is already a friend, and thus cannot break out of it.

[daghi]

i agree w/ some of this, however there are instances where a girl's feelings change
girl1: "omgosh, i think i'm starting to have feelings for Pete"
girl2: "no wai, when did this start???"
and such.

ps. need some of teh females to ring in imo.

[ivellious]

Was Pete a FriendZone(tm) friend? I mean, did girl1 call up Pete to complain about other guy's she dated? Did she confess her deepest, darkest secrets to him, etc. Or was Pete just one of those guys everyone knew and came to play volleyball at the beach with them every once in a while type thing?

[t3ckn0_fr34k]

Ultimately, you want to marry your best friend. I've known and heard of plenty of people who were friends for a long time and after a while tried dating. Some worked, some didn't- but thats true of all relationships.

[ivellious]

Okay, I spent most of my energy responding to everyone else so this will be short.

First off, yes, you want to marry your best friend. But, you can't let her KNOW your a friend to start with! Otherwise your chances have just been shot! You gotta hook up with them, have some laughs, get to know them, and once you're in a 'steady relationship' you can now reveal certain parts of being friends.

It all depends on how rational they are. Also, how good of friends were they? What are the guys like? Are they "Nice guys" or are they "Jerk guys", or a mix of both?

[daghi]

ps. posting in an epic thread

[ivellious]

Oh, it will be.

[t3ckn0_fr34k]

I guess I just disagree that your ORIGINAL statement is "But friends will never become suitors." With -never-, you're dealing with an absolute, and frankly its false because I (and my parents, i talked about this with them) know plenty of people that have been friends and then dated- some of which have married

[_kimiko_]

uh, i agree.

[ivellious]

Okay, I'm basically going to cut and paste an AIM conversation I had with David with slight rewording and un-AIMing it

[ivellious]

LJ hates how much I type