new york, new york
Wow...I am moving to manhattan wednesday. What I've wanted for so long is here...and I've never been more ready. At 19...I think of the last few years, and realize how much I have grown. I think with my heart...and put myself out on the limb each and every day. And I think that's so important because everyone needs to be real, be them, and speak what is on their mind.
Last night, I had the most amazing conversation with both Courtneys (Court and Courtney Drach). It was basically a 45 minute convo discussing Corey, my potential boyfriend, but it turned out to be around 2 hours, and all about life. When it comes down to it...life is about YOU. Not selfishly, but you just need to be yourself and if other people like you, then they can be part of your life. But you should never, ever cover up or try to change who you are. This is all old news, I know, but sometimes we all forget to follow this. And I'm far from perfect, and I'll notice myself doubting my own beliefs and instincts. And there's nothing worse than that. Nothing. Because when you start doubting something, then it's absolutely, positively not right.
I can't wait for my future. I am looking forward to so much. To live. To love. To be free. To be happy. To let my heart guide me...even if it doesn't end up for the good. Because life is about making mistakes. Falling down...and getting back up. And never looking back...never being uncomfortable in your own decisions. With this...I realize, if I never walk on a runway ever again...that's okay. Because I have faith in myself, and my intelligence...more so than just my looks. And it's sad because one of my friends told me, out of nowhere, "even if you never model again, it's funny because you'll still be able to get anything you want because of your looks. And it's totally unfair." The comment kind of bothered me, to tell you the truth, but it's true: I have never had to ask more than once for anything. My parents happily oblige with all my requests, and strangers throw free things at me. But this is wrong...and it needs to stop because I am 19 and I need to do things for MYSELF. I need to take control of my life and not rely on being a blonde, blue-eyed model. Because the beauty within is equal to the outer beauty I possess. I know it is...and many of my friends do, too...but it's time for everyone to notice this.
"If you can just put your hand out and embrace something new, the good in your life will start to outweigh the bad. The best way to think about the future is to think of an expectation that's so far-fetched you can't even really imagine it happening to you. It's the opposite of sabotage: it's shooting for a future that's so bright you can't even imagine it. Why not believe in magic? Don't you still deserve something extraordinary? I know I do - because of my past, and in spite of it, too." - Janice Dickinson
Last night, I had the most amazing conversation with both Courtneys (Court and Courtney Drach). It was basically a 45 minute convo discussing Corey, my potential boyfriend, but it turned out to be around 2 hours, and all about life. When it comes down to it...life is about YOU. Not selfishly, but you just need to be yourself and if other people like you, then they can be part of your life. But you should never, ever cover up or try to change who you are. This is all old news, I know, but sometimes we all forget to follow this. And I'm far from perfect, and I'll notice myself doubting my own beliefs and instincts. And there's nothing worse than that. Nothing. Because when you start doubting something, then it's absolutely, positively not right.
I can't wait for my future. I am looking forward to so much. To live. To love. To be free. To be happy. To let my heart guide me...even if it doesn't end up for the good. Because life is about making mistakes. Falling down...and getting back up. And never looking back...never being uncomfortable in your own decisions. With this...I realize, if I never walk on a runway ever again...that's okay. Because I have faith in myself, and my intelligence...more so than just my looks. And it's sad because one of my friends told me, out of nowhere, "even if you never model again, it's funny because you'll still be able to get anything you want because of your looks. And it's totally unfair." The comment kind of bothered me, to tell you the truth, but it's true: I have never had to ask more than once for anything. My parents happily oblige with all my requests, and strangers throw free things at me. But this is wrong...and it needs to stop because I am 19 and I need to do things for MYSELF. I need to take control of my life and not rely on being a blonde, blue-eyed model. Because the beauty within is equal to the outer beauty I possess. I know it is...and many of my friends do, too...but it's time for everyone to notice this.
"If you can just put your hand out and embrace something new, the good in your life will start to outweigh the bad. The best way to think about the future is to think of an expectation that's so far-fetched you can't even really imagine it happening to you. It's the opposite of sabotage: it's shooting for a future that's so bright you can't even imagine it. Why not believe in magic? Don't you still deserve something extraordinary? I know I do - because of my past, and in spite of it, too." - Janice Dickinson