I Changed by Not Changing at All
The Fellowship is Broken.
I always prided myself on having a strong core of friends to fall back on. Hell, it's all that's every really kept me from having to deal with the real world.
Now everyone's gone, and I haven't replaced them. The tight circle of bond is looking more like Cambodian boy's asshole these days: Loose and spastic.
The tally, for those who care.
Manny: Best friend since 7th grade, totally flipped the fuck out and told me he wanted nothing to do with anyone from high school ever again. Status: No longer in circle.
Michelle: The most dubious member, regardless of her actions. Haven't spoken in 4 months, and it is probable that our friendship on a strong level has ended. Status: No longer in circle.
Eddie: One of the few who have stayed strong, even if we see each other less often than before. College was a blast with him, but the real world seems to have strained our contact slightly. Status: Still inside, but waned slightly over the years.
Glass: The first friend I met in college. Has dropped off the face of the Earth in recent times, and is rarely heard from. Status: I wish he were still here, but he's quickly fading.
Andre: My rock. His status has never been questioned, but I feel like our friendship reached its apex years ago. We have different lives, different friends, and different paths. Still, he's the one I can go to for anything, and our bond is more brotherly than anything else. Status: The man.
Robbie: My 2nd rock. The man has done more for me than anyone else I know (save for Andre), but his passion these days is his career (as it should be). Med school has taken him away to New York, so seeing him is getting harder and harder. Status: Physically distant, but still a strong presence in my life.
Chris: My other brother from an other other mother. The man took care of me when I had my car crash, so how can I not love him? Have been hanging with him more lately, but it seems like life has beaten any joy out of him. When we get together, we talk about how much we hate our circumstances. Not the most cheerful of topics. Status: Still strong, but so damn depressing.
The 2nd-tier circle
Ernest: The man who got me into pro wrestling. Haven't seen him since January, 2005, but still talk to him every few months on the phone. Of all the above, I miss hanging out with him the most.
Stacey: Making her way back up the list at an alarming pace. Good for her.
Mark: Hung out with him for the first time since 2002 just a few weekends ago. Hope to have more hanging outages with him in the future.
Lino: Another one who went MIA since April.
So yeah, that's pretty much it. I know friendships are cyclical, and that new ones should sprout to replace older ones, but I find it harder and harder to go out and make new friends. It just seems more inappropriate to go up to people and start talking to them nowadays. The world is not as kind as I hope it to be.
My LJ used to be full of life, and new people would constantly come and go, leaving comments and sprouting new friendships as they went. It used to be a communicative tool to keep dibs on my old friends while fleshing out my new ones. Now it seems like a place where I come to talk about all the things that used to be.
So excuse the angst, but I just feel kinda friendless right now. How do I go about meeting new people? So ronery.
I always prided myself on having a strong core of friends to fall back on. Hell, it's all that's every really kept me from having to deal with the real world.
Now everyone's gone, and I haven't replaced them. The tight circle of bond is looking more like Cambodian boy's asshole these days: Loose and spastic.
The tally, for those who care.
Manny: Best friend since 7th grade, totally flipped the fuck out and told me he wanted nothing to do with anyone from high school ever again. Status: No longer in circle.
Michelle: The most dubious member, regardless of her actions. Haven't spoken in 4 months, and it is probable that our friendship on a strong level has ended. Status: No longer in circle.
Eddie: One of the few who have stayed strong, even if we see each other less often than before. College was a blast with him, but the real world seems to have strained our contact slightly. Status: Still inside, but waned slightly over the years.
Glass: The first friend I met in college. Has dropped off the face of the Earth in recent times, and is rarely heard from. Status: I wish he were still here, but he's quickly fading.
Andre: My rock. His status has never been questioned, but I feel like our friendship reached its apex years ago. We have different lives, different friends, and different paths. Still, he's the one I can go to for anything, and our bond is more brotherly than anything else. Status: The man.
Robbie: My 2nd rock. The man has done more for me than anyone else I know (save for Andre), but his passion these days is his career (as it should be). Med school has taken him away to New York, so seeing him is getting harder and harder. Status: Physically distant, but still a strong presence in my life.
Chris: My other brother from an other other mother. The man took care of me when I had my car crash, so how can I not love him? Have been hanging with him more lately, but it seems like life has beaten any joy out of him. When we get together, we talk about how much we hate our circumstances. Not the most cheerful of topics. Status: Still strong, but so damn depressing.
The 2nd-tier circle
Ernest: The man who got me into pro wrestling. Haven't seen him since January, 2005, but still talk to him every few months on the phone. Of all the above, I miss hanging out with him the most.
Stacey: Making her way back up the list at an alarming pace. Good for her.
Mark: Hung out with him for the first time since 2002 just a few weekends ago. Hope to have more hanging outages with him in the future.
Lino: Another one who went MIA since April.
So yeah, that's pretty much it. I know friendships are cyclical, and that new ones should sprout to replace older ones, but I find it harder and harder to go out and make new friends. It just seems more inappropriate to go up to people and start talking to them nowadays. The world is not as kind as I hope it to be.
My LJ used to be full of life, and new people would constantly come and go, leaving comments and sprouting new friendships as they went. It used to be a communicative tool to keep dibs on my old friends while fleshing out my new ones. Now it seems like a place where I come to talk about all the things that used to be.
So excuse the angst, but I just feel kinda friendless right now. How do I go about meeting new people? So ronery.