(no subject)
It's happy Christmas Eve to all thee non-orthodox christians (since the russian orthodox church celebrates Christmas on the 7th of January) out there!
Anyhoos, I'm having fun with the small loophole in a certain law of our wondrous country. Of course, 'tis the law about military service.
Normally, when a guy reaches 16 out here, he's still in school and it is his teachers' job to take him down to the local voenkomat (some sort of those t00by military abbreviations, it means sort of a... well, draft board, according to my dictionary) and make sure he's registered as a possible recruit. When he reaches 18 years of age, is in a health state that allows military service and isn't on a job or in an educational institution that grants a protection from it, he gets drafted into the army.
That is how it should work.
My problem is that I turned 16 a few days after graduating from school, so the school never took part in my registration. The law's loophole is that if the kid ain't registered at his local voenkomat, he cannot be drafted in any case, since the respective institutions don't know that he exists as a possible recruit. That mistake I intended to use to avoid the risk of even being drafted (and therefore, the ultimate bane of all russian recruits of these days - service in Chechnya). Tricky part is, my Uni has this small department within it, called the "military registration desk", whose sole job is to make sure that all students HAVE registered as active recruits and that they have the necessary paperwork when the shit hits the fan and the army tries to draft the guy in question. So what is bad about me, you'll ask? Those idiots upstairs in the Uni's control room (whatever it's called) didn't think it was necessary to inform anyone that all male students who are over 17 (including 17 exactly) years of age and who haven't registered at said registration desk will not be allowed to take the winter mid-of-year exams. No exams taken = no exams passed = you get kicked out.
Well, they DID inform me. This Monday, to be precise. The fun part is, that that darned desk thing - they require me to show the paperwork from my local voenkomat (which I don't have since I never registered there). To get it, I need to register, but even THEN I will only get said paperwork in mid-February - that is, when the exams AND all the "save-thy-soul" reexams AND even "last-resort", "pass-or-bust" rereexams are over already, thus still effectively getting me kicked out. But this time around, I result with a registration in my voenkomat on my hands (for which I have signed up before realizing WHAT this means), thus having me being without the protection of my Uni from the army draft AND with an active registration as a recruit.
I went to those bureaucratic beeeotches at the voenkomat today, they first didn't want to reg me at all ("Fine," I thought, "I'll be off now...") but the thought of being kicked out didn't strike me as too pleasant, so I begged, and I threatened, and I begged again, until they did. Now comes the second tricky part.
All possible recruits have to pass a series of medical tests to see if they are fit (both physically and psychologically) for the service (if not, they get the most sought-after paper this side of the Iron Curtain - the so-called "white ticket", which is a small piece of paper that tells anyone who cares that you aren't a valid recruit due to your weak health state which cannot be improved at all). Which I haven't passed today (though I should've) since I spent too much time begging to actually be allowed to take it today - all the doctors have already been gone by then. It means that my reception of the papers I need for my Uni has just been moved from mid-February to end-of-February-start-of-March, which, in turn, means I'm dead.
Though, I pray on one thing - if the docs say that I'm in either of the lowest two groups of health (those are "totally unfit for service" and "temporarily unfit for service", which just differentiate by the possibility of healing the sickness which prohibits me from serving - btw, homosexualism falls into the first of these two :P ) or at least the third lowest ("partially fit for service" - it also means that they can't draft me any time they want) - because then I have less paperwork to plow through AFTER the med tests, effectively shortening my wait time to get the papers my Uni needs.
One way or the other, if you still haven't realized, I'm living in one fucked up country :P
P.S. On the brighter side of things - she seems to have grown less cold in my direction. I wonder if she will write me if I WILL get drafted after all...
Anyhoos, I'm having fun with the small loophole in a certain law of our wondrous country. Of course, 'tis the law about military service.
Normally, when a guy reaches 16 out here, he's still in school and it is his teachers' job to take him down to the local voenkomat (some sort of those t00by military abbreviations, it means sort of a... well, draft board, according to my dictionary) and make sure he's registered as a possible recruit. When he reaches 18 years of age, is in a health state that allows military service and isn't on a job or in an educational institution that grants a protection from it, he gets drafted into the army.
That is how it should work.
My problem is that I turned 16 a few days after graduating from school, so the school never took part in my registration. The law's loophole is that if the kid ain't registered at his local voenkomat, he cannot be drafted in any case, since the respective institutions don't know that he exists as a possible recruit. That mistake I intended to use to avoid the risk of even being drafted (and therefore, the ultimate bane of all russian recruits of these days - service in Chechnya). Tricky part is, my Uni has this small department within it, called the "military registration desk", whose sole job is to make sure that all students HAVE registered as active recruits and that they have the necessary paperwork when the shit hits the fan and the army tries to draft the guy in question. So what is bad about me, you'll ask? Those idiots upstairs in the Uni's control room (whatever it's called) didn't think it was necessary to inform anyone that all male students who are over 17 (including 17 exactly) years of age and who haven't registered at said registration desk will not be allowed to take the winter mid-of-year exams. No exams taken = no exams passed = you get kicked out.
Well, they DID inform me. This Monday, to be precise. The fun part is, that that darned desk thing - they require me to show the paperwork from my local voenkomat (which I don't have since I never registered there). To get it, I need to register, but even THEN I will only get said paperwork in mid-February - that is, when the exams AND all the "save-thy-soul" reexams AND even "last-resort", "pass-or-bust" rereexams are over already, thus still effectively getting me kicked out. But this time around, I result with a registration in my voenkomat on my hands (for which I have signed up before realizing WHAT this means), thus having me being without the protection of my Uni from the army draft AND with an active registration as a recruit.
I went to those bureaucratic beeeotches at the voenkomat today, they first didn't want to reg me at all ("Fine," I thought, "I'll be off now...") but the thought of being kicked out didn't strike me as too pleasant, so I begged, and I threatened, and I begged again, until they did. Now comes the second tricky part.
All possible recruits have to pass a series of medical tests to see if they are fit (both physically and psychologically) for the service (if not, they get the most sought-after paper this side of the Iron Curtain - the so-called "white ticket", which is a small piece of paper that tells anyone who cares that you aren't a valid recruit due to your weak health state which cannot be improved at all). Which I haven't passed today (though I should've) since I spent too much time begging to actually be allowed to take it today - all the doctors have already been gone by then. It means that my reception of the papers I need for my Uni has just been moved from mid-February to end-of-February-start-of-March, which, in turn, means I'm dead.
Though, I pray on one thing - if the docs say that I'm in either of the lowest two groups of health (those are "totally unfit for service" and "temporarily unfit for service", which just differentiate by the possibility of healing the sickness which prohibits me from serving - btw, homosexualism falls into the first of these two :P ) or at least the third lowest ("partially fit for service" - it also means that they can't draft me any time they want) - because then I have less paperwork to plow through AFTER the med tests, effectively shortening my wait time to get the papers my Uni needs.
One way or the other, if you still haven't realized, I'm living in one fucked up country :P
P.S. On the brighter side of things - she seems to have grown less cold in my direction. I wonder if she will write me if I WILL get drafted after all...