*CAUTION BITCHY POST*
I'm sitting here in my living room. I've been trying so hard to be a strong person, someone who is so confident in themselves much like many of my friends. I'm starting to get really bad at hiding it. I'm really bad at letting my wall down and telling people what's wrong. If I tell you "I'm tired" and I look kind pissed that's a tell tale excuse that I'm hiding something. I don't even know why I show it because no one really cares, which is pretty sad considering I'd like to think I'm always here, people come to talk to me, and I give them my advice. However, it seems like those same people aren't here for me in the same way. Sometimes, when I just can't contain everything I just say things as a desperate cry for help. Still I find that people aren't really there for me. There is probably only one person (that's in the area and see's me on a regular basis) here that notices and takes the effort to ask me what's wrong, and I still don't have the nerve to talk to her. I just feel really bad about myself. It's not just one thing. It's a lot!
I really hate caring about people/friends as much as I do. I don't know why but I feel responsible for making sure people are okay, and don't get hurt. When I don't have people show any concern for me in return it just makes me even more sad. I could really use a support group.
Here's the expected part of the journal. BOYS! Okay, so I don't understand what is wrong with me. There has to be something because no one, and I mean NO ONE shows any interest in me what-so-ever. I'd like to think I'm a good person, with a lot to offer. That can't be true though. I'm either ugly, not interesting, etc., or all of the above. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.
To sum up this emo lj post I leave you with the song that perfectly describes me
Radiohead-"Creep"
When you were here before
Couldnt look you in the eye
Youre just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
Youre so fuckin special
But Im a creep, Im a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here.
I dont care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When Im not around
Youre so fuckin special
I wish I was special
But Im a creep, Im a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here.
Shes running out again,
Shes running out
Shes run run run running out...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
Youre so fuckin special
I wish I was special...
But Im a creep, Im a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here.
I dont belong here.
I really hate caring about people/friends as much as I do. I don't know why but I feel responsible for making sure people are okay, and don't get hurt. When I don't have people show any concern for me in return it just makes me even more sad. I could really use a support group.
Here's the expected part of the journal. BOYS! Okay, so I don't understand what is wrong with me. There has to be something because no one, and I mean NO ONE shows any interest in me what-so-ever. I'd like to think I'm a good person, with a lot to offer. That can't be true though. I'm either ugly, not interesting, etc., or all of the above. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.
To sum up this emo lj post I leave you with the song that perfectly describes me
Radiohead-"Creep"
When you were here before
Couldnt look you in the eye
Youre just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
Youre so fuckin special
But Im a creep, Im a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here.
I dont care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When Im not around
Youre so fuckin special
I wish I was special
But Im a creep, Im a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here.
Shes running out again,
Shes running out
Shes run run run running out...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
Youre so fuckin special
I wish I was special...
But Im a creep, Im a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here.
I dont belong here.