Title: The Warmth Tells You That You're Alive
Author:
iulia_linneaPairing: Snarry, others implied
Rating: NC-17
Warning (highlight to view): For implied character death.
Word Count: 6095
Summary: Hogwarts under siege, Severus brewing illegal potions, Harry paying off his life debt-the war is about to end, and badly, so the Potions master takes a moment to indulge his Gryffindor side.
Disclaimer: This piece is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling; various publishers, including, but not limited to: Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books; and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
The bottle was composed of black, faceted crystal which caught
and absorbed all light, trapping it
within its matrix to warm the contents it contained. Fire Bright Elixir
had to be kept hot, or it would
degrade rapidly. The illegal potion was used by professional Quidditch
players to enhance their
performance; one drop caused a player's eyes to glow with a
reddish sheen, an indication that his
metabolism had sped up to feed the increased demands of his body. Fire
Bright made its user faster,
more dextrous, and better able to bear the pain of over-exertion.
And such an advantage has become indispensable to the
Aurors fighting on the front lines as
their numbers continue to decrease, Severus thought, glaring
at the bottle in his hands.
At Hogwarts, the soldiers who abused the elixir were easily
discerned; their eyes gleamed out of
twisted faces, their muscles spasmed without control, and they did not
sleep. The Potions master had
begun to feel like a drug dealer as the battle to take the castle wore
on, and the stream of addicted
Aurors visited him in his dungeons to importune him to make more of the
hateful draught.
"No, Glenwilliams.
You've been taking too much. Go see Madame Pomfrey for
relief."
"Damn it, man! I've got to get back out
there. I need it!"
"No," Severus said again.
The Auror growled at him and stormed out of the laboratory.
But the wizard knew that when the man returned, if
he returned, he would provide him another dose.
That night, the Astronomy Tower fell under a volley of flaming
boulders flung at it by cave trolls under
the control of the Death Eaters that had kept Hogwarts under siege for
weeks. Three Aurors
overdosed on Fire Bright Elixir in their attempt to prevent the
destruction; they had been on their
broomsticks guarding the tower for over ten hours before the attack,
and had absorbed too many
hexes, hexes they had not felt due to the effects of Fire Bright
running through their veins.
"The fools had no business staying out so
long!" raged Severus, as he stood in the rubble of the tower,
staring at the bodies.
They were too hot to touch.
"Professor," Zacharias Smith, one of the
Seventh Year students who had been given the responsibility
of burying the dead, said, "we need to . . . deal with them.
We can't just leave them lying there."
"No, we cannot," the Potions master
agreed, casting an incendiary charm at the bodies.
Zacharias and the other students in the Burial Corps gasped in
shock at the manner in which Snape had
elected to provide a measure of dignity to the Aurors in death.
"We could not have buried them in any case, Mr.
Smith," the wizard said before returning to his lab.
There were other potions in need of preparation, and the
wizard immersed himself in the task of
brewing them so that he would not have to think about the destruction
that surrounded him. Matters
were desperate, and soon, soon he knew that Potter would act. But
Severus could not contemplate that
and function; his feelings for the boy were too strong.
Remus Lupin came to see him later that night.
"No more burials?" he asked.
"No," Severus replied. "This is
the last of the Wolfsbane, Lupin," he told the other man,
handing him a
steaming goblet. "I am out of silver and hensbane."
"I see."
"Drink it."
"Perhaps I should leave it. Perhaps I should
just-"
"What?" asked Severus sharply.
"Walk out after your transformation and take down as many
trolls as
you can before you are slaughtered? Don't be a
fool!"
"I'd prefer that to waiting for the moment
our own people have to destroy me," Remus whispered.
"Such sacrifice is not noble, Lupin. You
don't know what might happen in a month. Drink the damn
potion."
Remus did so, and handed Severus the goblet. "It
doesn't taste half bad today."
"Splendid."
"Severus . . . ."
"What, Lupin?"
"The headmaster has asked to see you."
"Is it time?"
"Not quite. Harry has an idea."
No! No, Harry, the man
screamed in his head, but he did not allow his distress to reach his
features.
"More Gryffindor idiocy?
Excellent," the man said, walking to the door.
"Well?" he asked Lupin, who
had not moved.
"I think you should persuade Harry to take the Fire
Bright Elixir. He's exhausted, and any
advant-"
"No, Lupin. I will not dissuade Potter from behaving
responsibly. For once, the boy is showing more
sense than with which I would have ever credited him. The potion is
dangerous, and Potter needs his
wits about him."
The two men began walking toward Dumbledore's office.
"I know it's dangerous, but
Harry's been fighting shift after shift-he
doesn't rest-he needs-"
Saving, Severus thought, feeling his
inability to do that keenly. "An army."
"We don't have an army."
"Of this, I am well aware. What is the boy
planning?"
Thus far, Potter, working with the Aurors, had managed to
destroy several of Voldemort's battle
groups. But the trolls just kept coming. There were fewer of them,
thanks to Hagrid's efforts with his
giants, but their numbers were also decreasing. Since the groundskeeper
cum soldier's last report, more
of the Dark Lord's troops had arrived to reinforce the enemy
at their gates, and it seemed increasingly
likely that Hogwarts would fall. Of the Aurors who had been defending
the Ministry, there had been no
word, and Severus knew that this probably meant that they were all dead.
"Voldemort will be coming soon."
"That is likely."
"And Harry wants to face him."
"Of course he does," Severus replied
sourly, stopping in front of the Gryphon that guarded Albus'
office. "Cranberry Crunch," he said, trying to
quell the sensation of dread that was growing in his
breast. Get a hold of yourself, man!
Remus followed Severus onto the spiral staircase and said
nothing as it wound upwards. They heard
the shouting before they had reached the top.
"No! That's insane!" Kingsley
Shacklebolt was yelling.
"What is?" Severus asked.
"Snape! Tell Potter it's a suicide mission
to face Voldemort alone!"
Severus glanced at the Auror before gazing stoically at the
boy and saying, "Potter, it's a suicide
mission to face Voldemort alone." Don't
do it, Harry. Please, stay safe, stay here, stay with me.
Harry, his face flushed with anger, almost smiled at the
wizard's sarcastic repetition of the Auror's
words. Instead, he turned his attention to Dumbledore, who had cleared
his throat expectantly.
"Kingsley, calm yourself. Harry knows what he has to
do. It is our job to support his efforts now."
"What do you propose, Potter?" Severus
asked, pleased that his voice remained steady.
"I want to clear the trolls and force the Death
Eaters inside of the gates. We can concentrate our forces
on that fight while I seek Voldemort in the Forbidden Forest."
"How do you know the Dark Lord will position himself
there?"
Harry tapped his scar.
"Ah," Severus said,
"you're going to allow him to draw you into a trap.
That does seem wise."
"Look, I have to do this. If I can kill him, his
troops will scatter."
"And how will you destroy the Dark Lord,
Potter?"
"I . . . I'm not clear on that, yet,
but-"
"But you'll allow us to remove our
defenses while you try. Potter, you're more of an
idiot-"
"Severus!" Albus thundered, clearly
strained. "Enough. We won't last long in any case.
Harry must face
Voldemort now before he is too weak."
The Potions master noted that the headmaster appeared rather
weak, himself. "If the boy fails, we will
be slaughtered that much sooner. We should wait
for-"
"They aren't coming,"
Shacklebolt said heavily. "Tonks got through. She told us
that . . . that-" he
attempted to say, but could not complete his thought.
Remus did so for him. "Tonks reports that the
Dementors have caused our people to run mad at the
Ministry. They aren't coming, Severus. They're most
likely dead by now."
"I see." And now
you're prepared to sacrifice the Boy Who Lived in a last
effort to win a war we
have no hope of surviving.
"This is the trap," Harry said calmly.
"Voldemort wants me."
"Yes, he does. Why are you so eager to provide him
with yourself? You don't even have a plan to
destroy him," Severus replied, forcing himself not to think
of what the Dark Lord would do to Harry if
he captured him.
"Professor, I know you have your doubts about the
prophesy, but I've got to do this, and now."
"What do you want from me?"
"Permission," the young man said, paling
visibly.
"Leave us," Albus told the others, and
waited for Shacklebolt and Lupin to obey him before he spoke
again. "Severus, it's not true that Harry is
without a plan. It will, however, mean-"
"Your death. Maybe."
Severus looked at Harry in astonishment. The boy-no,
the man-appeared almost sick at the thought
he was about to express. "What are you talking
about?"
"I can kill Voldemort. Hermione
and Albus worked out a binding spell, something to allow me to . . .
join with the Dark Lord's consciousness and possess him. But
if I do that, if I can make him kill
himself-"
"You will be killed." No, no, no
. . . .
"Most likely, but so will you-so will
anyone bound to Voldemort."
"I'm surprised your lover would permit you
to attempt such an idiotic stunt." That is not like
Granger
at all.
Harry did not react to Severus' assumption. Instead,
he squared his shoulders and said, "Professor
Snape, you hold . . . there's a life debt between us. I
can't-"
"Willingly destroy me because of it. I see. You want
me to release you from the bond between us, so
that your spell will work," the wizard said bitterly.
For the life debt Harry owed him was all he had to connect
himself to the boy.
"Yes," Harry whispered.
"That isn't as simple
as-"
"Harry knows that, Severus. But there is a way for
him to pay the life debt he owes you, if you would
be willing to accept it," Albus said.
The Potions master reviewed what he knew of life debts
quickly, but he could not fathom what the
headmaster had in mind. The only way to break such a bond is
if the one who owes it saves the life
of the one to whom it is owed, he thought, that, or
if the two parties involved become-"No!"
he
exclaimed, as he realized what Harry had in mind. "That is ridiculous,
boy!" And far too much to
hope.
"I'll leave you two alone,"
Albus said, making a hasty exit from his office.
"Why?" Harry demanded.
"Why, Potter? Because you are not
a witch. You are not a poof.
You do not desire me. We cannot
knit our lives together by bond of marriage, that
is why." And I would not have you that way,
sacrificing yourself to bed me when you do not lo-
"It's not actually a question of
marriage," Harry said quietly. "Albus did
it-with Grindelwald-he says all
we have to do is have-"
"Sex, Potter. Yes, I know.
But again, you do not desire-"
"Please don't presume to tell me what I
desire, Severus."
What? "Granger surely did
not-"
"Hermione knows how I feel about you.
That's why she suggested it."
"Potter, what are you implying?" the man
asked, his every nerve suddenly aflame.
"I . . . I'm in love with you, Severus. I
have been for over a year," Harry replied, blushing and
looking
miserable. "I know that you won't believe me, but,
but I can prove it," the boy said, as if realizing
something. "Here," he said, picking up the Pensieve
on Albus' desk and drawing his wand.
"Here," he
said again after tapping his head with his wand and adding a thought to
the device. "Look."
Almost too eagerly, for he knew that Potter way lying to
him-Attempting to seduce me for the cause,
he thought-Severus looked. He peered into the Pensieve and
allowed himself to fall into Potter's
memory. The scene was the Gryffindor common room, and Potter was
sitting in a chair by the hearth
watching as Hermione Granger walked toward him.
"What is it, Harry?"
the girl asked, concern evident in her expression.
"Nothing. I don't want to talk about
it."
"Harry, you've been crying."
That was true, and the Potions master felt himself wanting to
comfort the boy. He had never seen Harry
cry before.
"Go away, Hermione."
The infuriating girl did not go, but sat down next to Harry
and took his hand. "It's Blaise, isn't
it? You
and Blaise . . . ."
"We broke up."
Potter and Zabini were a couple? Severus
thought, surprised. But . . . .
"But, why? I thought that you said it was time,
that-"
"Oh, we did, Hermione, but I . . . I ruined
everything."
Severus felt a stab of irrational jealousy at the thought of
anyone touching Harry.
"How?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Well, you are talking about it,
aren't you? What happened?"
The young man's featured crumpled up in pain, as he
whispered, "I called his name."
Whose name? "But why
would-oh! Oh, Harry, I . . . I don't know what to
say."
That would be a first, Severus thought
harshly. Let him tell you!
"I do like Blaise, but . . . but
when he was . . . when we . . . I, damn it,
Hermione! I couldn't help
myself! Why do I feel this way? He hates
me! Why did I have to hurt Blaise like that?"
"Because you're in love with Professor
Snape, aren't you, Harry?"
Are you? Are you truly?
"Yes."
Merlin!
"And you called his name when . . . while you and
Blaise were making love, is that right?"
"Ye-yes," Potter said, beginning
to cry harder.
Hermione enveloped the boy in her arms and allowed him to sob.
"Shh," she soothed him. "Shh. It
will be all right, Harry."
Stunned, Severus pulled himself out of the Pensieve and
Potter's proof. The younger wizard was staring
at him with wide, wet, green eyes. "Do you believe me,
now?" he asked hoarsely.
"When . . . when was that?" Severus ground
out between clenched teeth.
"Last year, just before Christmas. Blaise never
forgave me."
Blaise Zabini had been one of the first students to volunteer
to fight. He had died during the initial siege
of the castle. And Harry must blame himself for that, as he
blames himself for making a proposal
that could kill me. But it was still too new, the revelation
that the other wizard could love him, so he
said, "And that is why you wish to sacrifice yourself so heroically,
Potter?"
"No, damn you! I have to do
this! But, but I don't . . . ."
"You don't, what?"
the older wizard asked, his heart beating faster. It's
anger, he lied to himself,
watching Potter's perfect mouth work as he tried to form his
response.
"I don't want you to die,
Severus, but there . . . there's no other way.
I know that you don't feel
anything for me, but surely, surely you
could-"
"Shut up, boy," the man said, closing the
distance between them and roughly pulling Potter against his
body to claim his mouth.
The heat between them owed nothing to Fire Bright Elixir.
"OH," Harry groaned, breaking their kiss.
"You, you do want me."
"Alive, boy, I want you to live,"
Severus said fiercely, grinding his erection into the boy's
belly.
"Oh, GODS! Oh, Severus, please,"
Harry begged, thrusting back.
"You don't know what you're
asking," the wizard told him, squeezing Harry's
arse.
"Yes, I do. Please, Severus. This is all we have.
Please," Harry said, struggling to free himself from the
embrace so that he could undress the man.
"I will not bed you here,"
Severus said, releasing Harry. "Come with me."
They did not make it back to the dungeons. An explosion in the
corridor outside of Albus' office forced
them into an empty classroom, and Severus spelled the door locked
quickly before turning to find that
Harry had begun frantically undressing.
"Let me do that," he ordered, knocking the
boy's hands away from the buttons of his shirt.
When they were naked, they stilled long enough to allow their
eyes to hungrily take in each other's
charms before the sounds of cracking masonry reminded them that time
was short.
Harry transfigured several desks into a large bed, and they
fell upon it, Severus covering Harry's body
with his own. The wizard kissed his way down Potter's chest
to the trail of hair on his belly that led to
his straining, leaking prick, and breathed hotly on the engorged head
before sucking the organ to the
root.
"YES!"
With deliberate steadiness, Severus sucked hard up and down
the thick shaft, tonguing the vein that ran
up the underside of Harry's cock and holding the
boy's hips firmly down on the mattress.
"Nnn! OH, please, yes! MORE!" Harry cried,
his hands threading Severus' hair.
The wizard released one hipbone to snake his hand between
Harry's thighs and tease his spasming
hole, reveling in the way the simple action of thrusting a finger
inside of the boy caused his lover to
scream incoherently.
"Do you want me?"
"Yes, Severus! I want you. Fuck me,
please!" Harry begged, attempting to turn over.
"No! I want to see your face," Severus
told him before murmuring a lubrication spell and repositioning
himself above Harry's heaving frame.
Slowly, he nudged his impatient prick between the
boy's thighs and pressed his head against the pucker
of Harry's arse, pushing in just enough for it to be
enveloped by the teasing heat, and gasped as he felt
the boy's muscles undulate in attempt to grasp his shaft and
draw it inside of himself.
"Fuck! I want the rest of you!"
"And you'll have it," Severus
promised, burying himself in Harry's body with one slick
thrust.
The bed rocked with the reverberations of another explosion,
but the lovers ignored the attack,
focusing instead on the rhythm of their bodies. Severus pulled back and
twisted his hips before plunging
back inside of the boy, learning quickly that Harry loved to be fucked
hard. He felt his orgasm hovering
close.
Too soon! he thought, slowing his strokes
and concentrating on hitting a particular spot with every
thrust. I have to make this count.
"Wha-what's that?"
his lover gasped, bucking hard.
"Your prostate, Harry," he breathed
heavily against his neck before biting it.
He was inordinately pleased to discover that it was he
who was giving Harry this first pleasure,
something that he had dreamed of doing for years. Blaise's
apparent incompetence as a lover made up
for his having deflowered Harry.
"Se-Se-Severus, I'm . .
. oh! I'm com-coming!" Harry cried,
shuddering beneath him.
That was all the man needed to hear. Having pleasured the boy,
he began pounding into him as hard as
he could. His own orgasm shaking him even as Harry came again.
Spent, and shaking from both their efforts and the continuing
attack on the castle, the two wizards clung
to each other while the aftershocks of their passion subsided.
"Harry," the man whispered when he could
speak again. "Harry, I don't want you to
go."
The boy shifted so that he made Severus rolled off of him, and
settled himself on top of his lover.
"I don't want to go," he said,
his eyes shining wetly as he looked at the older man. "I want
to stay in this
room forever, but . . . ."
"But you have to go."
A look of pain crossed Harry's face. "I
don't know what will happen. I don't know if I can
. . . ."
"You can do it, Harry. I know that you
can."
"But you, I could, it will kill . . . ."
Severus reached up to cup Harry's face in his hands
and drew the boy down for a kiss. Opening his
mind to him, he thought, I love you, Harry.
"You . . . you do?"
the boy whispered as he broke the kiss. "You really
do?"
"And I'll be waiting for you,"
Severus lied quietly, gently releasing Harry and rising from the bed.
Harry rose, as well, and said nothing as the two of them
dressed. The explosions seemed to have
stopped.
"Don't die," Severus told Harry,
forcing himself to remain impassive. He needs me to be strong.
"No, I just need you," the younger wizard
told him, walking out the door.
The Potions master did not follow the Boy He Loved. Instead,
he returned to the dungeons to supervise
the administration of the Fire Bright Elixir to the Aurors he knew
would be waiting for him.
He burned with concern for Harry, but he had work to do.
And if I am going to die, I had best
prepare Granger to take over as best she can in my stead.
The witch was already there, handing out phials of Fire Bright
to agitated Aurors.
"Professor, I'm sorry. I
thought-"
"It's all right, Miss Granger.
I'm pleased that you are behaving so capably," the
man said, his post-coital lassitude and resignation making him
gracious. "Was that the last of them?" he asked,
indicating
the soldiers who had just left.
"Yes, Sir. They came when the attack began. Is
Harry?"
"Gone. Yes."
"Oh," she said, beginning to tidy up the
area.
"Miss Granger."
"Yes?"
"Thank you," Severus said simply, hoping
that she would understand all that he could not say.
"There's a chance
that-"
"No, there isn't, Miss
Granger," Severus replied, aware that the witch had been
about to offer him a
measure of comfort about his chance of surviving Harry's
plan. "I would like you to do something for
me."
"Anything, Sir."
"Do not allow Harry to mourn me to the point he
forgets he is alive."
"Oh, Professor Snape, I . . . I don't know
what to say. If Harry survives, he'll . . . ."
"He'll brood. But you must not allow it.
He deserves a measure of happiness, of peace."
"We all do, Sir."
"Perhaps. But I have had . . . ." I
have had Harry, and that is more than I could have wished for.
"There will be no peace for me, Miss Granger. My only
happiness will be the brief knowledge that you
have promised to look out for Harry."
"I promise, Professor
Snape," the witch said, gazing at him through dry and solemn
eyes.
"Good," the wizard replied.
He left the girl to her task and went to find Albus, who he
knew would be supervising the battle from
whatever tower was left standing.
"Severus," Albus said, leaning on a cane
that the Potions master had never before seen.
He stepped under the cracked lintel of the door to the Bell
Tower, and approached his friend, noting
that the bell had been damaged. He said nothing as he gazed out over
the ruined portion of Hogwarts to
the battle raging below.
"The trolls are inside of the wall."
"So I see."
"The Aurors seem to be doing well."
"Good."
"I cannot see the Forbidden Forest from here, but I
know that Harry . . . ."
"Do not speak to me of Harry, please."
"As you wish."
"It is your magic that is protecting the castle, is
it not?"
"It is."
"Perhaps you would do better to focus it on the
attack."
"And leave the inhabitants of Hogsmeade and our
students undefended?"
There had been barely enough time to evacuate the town to the
school, and nowhere for anyone to go
once the battle had begun.
"This is the end, Albus. If
Harry fails, then . . . ."
"All hope will be lost. Perhaps you are right, old
friend. I should be out there."
"No, I should be out there,
Albus. Give it to me," the man asked,
steeling himself for his friend's refusal.
"Are you certain, Severus?"
They had discussed Albus releasing his power as a way of
defending themselves, but that tactic had
been abandoned. Severus could not remember why. But he knew now that it
was for the best.
Albus will not last much longer, so much is clear.
"I do not wish to wait for death to come to me."
"Going out in a blaze of glory is more a Gryffindor
tactic, I should think," Albus replied, removing his
wand from his robes.
"True."
"Well, then, if you're certain,
we'll share."
"What do you mean?"
"When I remove my protection from Hogwarts, the
surge of magic will be too great for one wizard to
wield alone. Half I shall give to you, so that you may fight. Half, I
shall retain, so that I may defend."
"Agreed," Severus said, preparing himself.
Albus murmured an incantation that the Potions master did not
understand, but he felt its effect almost
at once. His sense of his own magic grew as he became filled with the
headmaster's power, and he felt
hot. "You're glowing," he told the other
wizard.
"So are you. Now, go. Use the magic I've
given you before it burns its way through you. You haven't
much time."
There was to be no other goodbye than this, and that suited
both men fine, for they had in common a
sense of pragmatism that others might have called fatalism.
Severus ran.
He ran down the stairs of the Bell Tower and then through the
corridors of the school to the front door.
He ran into the thick of the fighting, pointing his wand at trolls and
other enemy combatants and
destroying them, easily deflecting the hexes cast at him by the Death
Eaters who had begun to stream
into the battle as their troll soldiers fell under the onslaught of the
Aurors. He ran toward the groups of
evil wizards and witches who were casting combined spells and set them
aflame. He ran past charred
bodies and piles of boulders to the edge of the Forbidden Forest where
hags had congregated to
prevent the Aurors' access to where he knew Voldemort was
waiting for Potter.
These creatures he froze with a thought before casting a
disintegration charm on their bodies and
rushing into the woods toward the trap the Dark Lord had set for his
lover. He could hear the
screaming before him. Behind him, the Aurors who had survived the
fighting began to follow him
toward the real battle.
Breaking into the clearing in which Voldemort stood before
Harry surrounded by a circle of hooded
figures, Severus began casting Avada Kedavra at every Death Eater he
saw. The Aurors followed his
lead. Several of the witches and wizards fell then as a destructive
ward surged up between the Dark
Lord and his prey, and Harry's would-be defenders. Severus
was thrown to the ground. A tendril of
magic struck out at him from the barrier, striking him like a flaming
whip.
"NOO!" he heard Harry yell.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"
The magical barrier shimmered, turning from a bloodied orange
color into something closer to
viridescence, but whatever the hue, it was sufficient to obscure Harry
from Severus' sight. The pain he
had been feeling ceased abruptly. Severus struggled to his feet as he
heard his master taunt his lover.
"You cannot defeat me, boy," the Dark Lord
spat. "You are alone. Your power is my power, and I
have come to claim it."
"AHH!" Harry screamed, obviously in pain.
"Fight him, Harry! Fight him!" Severus
yelled, preparing himself to batter the wall of magic with the
power he yet held within him.
"Fight me, old
friend," ordered a voice behind the Potions master.
"Lucius!" Severus growled, turning in time
to deflect the death curse the other wizard had cast.
Malfoy laughed. "How like you to use
another's magic to do your work, potion-brewer,"
the man
spat, aiming his wand at Severus. "You're too
cowardly to fight alone."
"I am not alone, Lucius," the Potions
master replied, imagining the other wizard as a pile of ash
scattering at his feet.
Malfoy did not even have time to scream before
Severus' thought-spell destroyed him.
But Harry was still screaming, and the magical barrier in his
control was shifting toward red again.
"Harry! Harry!" he cried, focusing all his
energy at dissolving the impediment between himself and his
lover.
He did not notice that the Aurors had joined him in his
efforts. Remus Lupin stood with Kingsley
Shacklebolt and Nymphadora Tonks watching in horror as the sheen of
magic surrounding Harry and
Voldemort began to waver and diminish. Soon, the Boy Who
Lived's writhing body could be seen at
the Dark Lord's feet. The evil wizard was laughing.
"You see, boy? I told you. You are nothing. Nothing.
And so alone, aren't you? Come, end this. Give
me back my magic and I will release your useless life."
"Cold," Harry whispered. "So
cold."
"Stop!" Remus ordered the Aurors suddenly.
"Stop trying to weaken the ward-it's
hurting Harry!
Severus-stop!" Remus ordered the man, shaking the
Potions master back to awareness.
"No! What are you doing, Lupin? It's
leaving me-I have to-"
"No, Severus. You can't. That's
Harry's power, not Voldemort's. You have to
stop!"
Sweat pouring from his body, Severus relented, releasing the
remaining magical energy that Albus had
given him in a swirl of powerful sparks. Aurors jumped back from the
stream of unstable, unfocused
magic, and Severus fell to his knees. He would have fallen completely
had not Lupin grasped him and
pulled him back to his feet.
"Let Harry do it. He knows what to do,"
Remus urged.
And Severus did so because there was now nothing else he could
do.
"Harry," he said helplessly.
The young wizard rolled away from Voldemort then, and
staggered to his feet, dropping his wand.
"Co-come and take it," he said,
apparently helpless, as well.
"No!" Severus yelled.
Voldemort smiled, his blood-red eyes shimmering with malice as
he approached Harry. Aiming his
wand at the boy, he began to chant a draining spell.
It did not work.
"What are you doing, boy?"
Harry grimaced. "You want your magic back?"
Voldemort shook his uncooperative wand to no avail.
"I will have you, boy!"
"Then come and take me, Tom," Harry
replied, breathing heavily.
"What is he doing?" Severus whispered.
"Wait, just wait," Remus replied,
quivering with tension.
The Dark Lord screamed in frustration and threw himself at
Harry, placing his clawed hands around the
boy's neck and squeezing. But Harry did not move.
"What are you doing?" Severus yelled,
attempting to break free of Lupin's restrictive hold and go
to the
boy.
"No. No. No! NO!"
Voldemort shrieked then, his voice rising in terror as his arms went
rigid, and his
body began to crust. "What are you doing
to me?"
"Feeding you my power," Harry replied, his
voice vibrating with magic.
It sounded almost as though he were speaking with many voices.
"Not . . . not all of them . . . us . . . are
dead," Severus said, feeling his Dark Mark throb with a
sudden,
stabbing pain.
He felt as though he were drowning-in himself.
Strange, incoherent, terrified screams were heard then,
but Severus was deaf to the noise, for his own voice had been raised in
the din.
"Release us," Harry said in that awful
voice that his lover could no longer hear, but could still feel.
"Release us to me."
A blinding flash of light, of lightning or magic, Severus
could not say, rushed out of Voldemort's
discorporating flesh and into Harry with a sulfurous
"crack!" and the boy began to glow with a bright
green cast.
It was the last thing that Severus saw before he lost
consciousness.
Everything was dark, dark and cold, as the Potions master lay
locked in a cocoon of silence. He could
not feel his body. He could not hear a sound. He could not see. And
then he felt them, the eyes. They
were familiar. They were green.
Harry's eyes, he thought.
Severus? his lover thought back. Severus,
are you in there?
"Where, Harry? Where am I?" he suddenly
heard his hoarse voice grind out of the throat that he was
beginning to feel was raw. "It burns."
"Good. That's good,
Severus," Harry told him. "The warmth tells you
that you are alive."
When the Potions master opened his eyes, he saw a pair of
shining green eyes floating above him in the
blurred features of the face he knew better than his own. "I
. . . I watched you. I saw . . . ."
"Shh," Harry urged.
"Don't try to speak. Your throat hasn't
yet healed. I'll stay with you. Just rest,
love, rest."
Severus slept. When he woke again, he felt his flesh tingling
with a familiar warmth, a warmth that owed
nothing to the heat of the body that lay curled against his in the dim
light of the Infirmary.
"Fire Bright Elixir. Who in blazes gave me that?"
he rasped.
"Oh, good. You're awake, dear
boy," the spectral image of Albus Dumbledore said, floating
through
the bed to peer down at the man. "That was Poppy's
doing, I'm afraid. You were very weak, and her
stores diminished. She hoped to invigorate you with the
elixir."
"The woman is incompetent!"
"No, she's not, Severus. You're
awake, aren't you? Not cold any longer?"
"If it is your intention to haunt me, Headmaster,
kindly do so from the side of the bed. It's . . . disturbing
to find you in the area of my . . . midsection."
Albus chuckled, and moved through the prone bodies in which he
stood to the side of the bed. "Of
course, dear boy. Do forgive me. I'm new
at this, I'm afraid."
"Why couldn't you have just had a portrait
painted and gone behind the Veil the way any thinking man
would?"
"And when did I have time to sit for my portrait,
Severus?" the ghost admonished him. "It's
good to see
you feeling more like yourself. But let's not wake Harry.
He's had a . . . trying day," Albus said before
fading from the room.
Severus sighed and stretched before wrapping himself more
tightly against his lover. "Harry."
"Mmm?" the boy murmured.
"Harry, are you . . . ."
"I'm fine."
"Quite alone?"
The boy raised his head and stared up into Severus'
eyes from his position tucked under the man's
shoulder. "Yeah, it's just me again."
"Was I . . . inside of you?"
Harry snorted. "Only the once."
"Harry."
"No, Severus," Harry said, his face
becoming serious. "No, I wouldn't . . . I
didn't bring you in all the
way. That's how I saved you."
The two lovers suddenly seized each other in a desperate
embrace.
"I thought you were dying," Severus
whispered.
"I thought you were dying. I saw
you-glowing! I thought someone had hexed you!"
"No, it wasn't a hex."
"It was Albus, wasn't it?"
"Yes."
"I . . . I miss him already."
Severus did not mention that the headmaster had only moments
before been floating amidst their
privates. Instead, he said, "I think you'll be able
to speak with Albus soon enough. He never did have
his portrait made, you know, and the man always has to have the last
word."
"Really? Brilliant!" Harry said, snuggling
closer to Severus, and then falling fast asleep.
Warmed in more ways than one, the Potions master stroked the
sleeping hero's hair and luxuriated in
the peace of the moment, one he could never have foreseen for himself.
"What now?" he wondered.
"You might begin," Albus'
disembodied voice told him, "with setting Miss Granger to
work on an
antidote to ease the symptoms of Fire Bright withdrawal-that,
or you'll have to spend time brewing the
elixir rather than . . . keeping company with your Harry."
"My Harry," Severus murmured, unconcerned
by thoughts of the young Gryffindor witch loose in his
laboratory. "She can have right at it. I'm done
with potion-brewing."
"So you say."
"Albus, please. I'm attempting to sleep
here."
"You did say that I always have to have the last
word."
"So I did, but be good enough to have it someplace
else."
"Now, that's gratitude, isn't
it?" the headmaster groused, his ghostly form beginning to
flicker into
visibility.
"Thank you, Albus," Severus replied in
ill-disguised irritation.
Looking considerably cheered, Albus dissipated with a final,
"You're welcome, dear boy."
That was four words,
the Potions master thought, lest he compel Albus to speak again.
And here are three, Harry thought back. I
love you.
Oh, Harry, I love you as
well-more than you could possibly know.
Show me, then, the young man urged
silently, as, unseen, Albus closed the curtain around their cot and
whispered, "Good night, dear boys, and many pleasant
tomorrows" before gliding through the
intact stone of the Infirmary in search of Peeves, for he had a task
for the poltergeist which involved the
smashing of an unnecessary store of black crystal bottles in the
dungeons.
"For now we must all learn to make our own
warmth in order to feel alive."