Twenty Random Facts about the Scamanders' . . . Travels (PG; the Scamanders, others; 1368 words)

[iulia_linnea]

Title: Twenty Random Facts about the Scamanders' . . . Travels
Author:
iulia_linnea
Pairing: Luna/Rolf
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1368
Summary: Not everything that happens to Luna and Rolf as they seek to refine and expand Fantastic Beasts makes it into the guide book . . . .
Disclaimer: This work of fan fiction is based on characters and situations created by J. K. Rowling and owned by J. K. Rowling and various publishers, including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made from (and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended by) the posting of this fan work.
Author's Note: I was missing Luna. ;P

1. In her travels, Luna has learnt that often, Dark wizards simply need a mum . . . very badly. Unfortunately, maternal energy isn't always enough to Heal their empty hearts.
2. The Thaumaturgics Wing of the British Museum was thrilled to receive Luna and Rolf's gift of an intact Nargle hive; it led to the creation of the Living Magics Exhibit, which has become a source of primary research for Magizoologists from all over the world.
3. Rolf is a tent hog; he takes so much gear with them on their travels that even an extraordinary Extension Charm isn't sufficient to neatly contain his belongings. The worst fight Luna and Rolf ever had began with his telling her, "I didn't know you were so tidy.
4. Luna is not tidy; she is, however, a fantastic Vanisher.
5. The two Lesnici upon whom Luna happened in the wild taiga forest in northern Russia definitely needed mothering and got it-which led to a declaration of truce, one Lesnik going off in a southerly direction, and one Lesnik agreeing, in spite of his responsibilities to his forest and the animals which dwelt within it, to take on the care and control of Bogdan the Basher. It was the Lesnik's practice of tickling away evil, decided Luna, that settled Bogdan down from Dark Lording into farming, and he became a farmer who was ultimately grateful to the Scamanders for preventing two immensely powerful forest guardians from destroying "his" land.
   
   In his gratitude, Bogdan, now calling himself "Bogdan the Blessed," gifted Luna a "curative" tea brewed from a little-known magical moss.
6. Luna has never quite been able to forgive Rolf for the Rusalka incident, but that is because he almost served a Stratim egg to her-"A Stratim egg! An egg from the mother of all birds in the world!"-Rolf claims that Luna's incomplete forgiveness of him stems from the fact that he kissed the Rusalka, the malicious, murderous fairy, but he's entirely wrong about that, of course.
   
   For a renowned Magizoologist, her husband is really rather thick.
7. That's what she said, or er, shouted, and quite happily, too.
8. Whilst enjoying crab cakes by the Maryland shore, Luna and Rolf encountered a Snallygaster attempting to eviscerate a tourist for attempting to steal from her nest. The Scamanders assisted the Snallygaster Protection League in Obliviating the would-be egg nappers before Obliviating the members of the League, themselves, the better to safely relocate the Snallygaster's nest.
   
   Rolf will never know it, but Luna Obliviated him, too.
9. Luna's attempts to persuade Rolf to go vegan have, to date, failed miserably. He loves his eggs.
10. During their time researching Doxies in Canada, Luna angered the people of Moose Jaw when she addressed the fertility "problem" in the Danger of Doxies living in the Meteorites' training facility.
    Having gathered evidence to support her hypothesis that Biting Fairies were, in fact, related to Fairies and Pixies, and being well on her way to developing an actual theory of same, Luna was disappointed when the Canadian magical government requested that she leave the country.
    
    Rolf agreed to stay on to conclude their information gathering, but Luna understood that he planned to take in at least one Quidditch match before joining her at The Workshop.
11. Santa truly is a jolly old elf, and one whose territory is not governed by any world power other than himself. Lesnici have nothing on Santa when he's dealing with Children Who Trespass, which is not a list on which one wants to find oneself.
    
    Mrs. Claus, species undetermined and actual Keeper of The List, tells some mean stories . . . .
12. Figments, or Reified Figments, are hopefully going to be the topic of a new chapter in the next edition of Fantastic Beasts-if Luna can persuade Rolf that it wouldn't be disrespectful, or as he would put it, "incredibly foolish and contrary to the continued existence of wizardkind," to include them.
13. Rolf got weird about delving too deeply into the origin of house-elves, as well, but then, there is a letter from Merlin amongst the Scamander family papers that offered plentiful support of Rolf's opinion.
    
    Agreeing to leave the house-elves alone in exchange for Rolf agreeing to give back the Stratim egg had been worth it.
    
    Rolf had been planning to fry it up with chives!
14. Luna was delighted when, for their fifth anniversary, Rolf took her to Nepal to experience the wyrd wonder of their gravity-resistant trees. As a witch who loved Dirigible Plums as much as she did, it had long been on her Experiences to Enjoy List to see the floating trees, whose brances rose so high that one lost sight of them-until one shared a pot of their steeped bark and found oneself soaring into their tree canopy.
    
    No one warned them, so Luna and Rolf almost suffocated-but not before discovering a new species of Firebird!
    
    The "Spits-Fire" has a magical, cleansing blue fire that keeps the floating trees free of parasites, which allows the birds to eat the insects that dwell in the upper leaves.
    
    Given Rolf's fear of heights, he had no choice but to believe Luna when she told him that she'd found no Spits-Fire eggs to . . . study.
15. Amara the Kind, a would-be Dark Lady, didn't respond to Luna's brand of maternal correction when they found her attempting to train the orphaned Nundu she'd been raising to target her enemies. After consultation with her father-in-law, Newt, Luna made arrangements with a Yumbo to "care" for Amara and her charge.
    
    It pleased the Yumbo to "serve" a witch who wanted nothing to do with him; he found purpose in maliciously complying with Luna's desire that Amara never, ever be free to work with deadly creatures again. The Nundu, to whom all Yumbo are immune, became his favourite little master, "Oh, yes! Who's a good boy? Who has deadly breath? You do!"
    
    Even though the Yumbo never gave Luna his name-"You do not ask a Yumbo his name!"-her letters reached him, and because it infuriated Amara, the Yumbo took great pains to write detailed letters about her activities for posting to the Scamanders.
    
    Yumboes are not house-elves; they freely educate themselves and do what they want when they want to whom they want.
    
    Fortunately for Rolf, he is unaware that Yumboes lay eggs.
16. While guest lecturing at Castelobruxo, Luna and Rolf befriended several Caipora, the "mischievous" guardians of the magical school-who had in their keeping, they learnt, an immortal Dark Lord.
    
    Not long into their post-teaching holiday, they had cause to ask the Caipora if their evil wizard could use "some temporary company."
17. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement has commended the Scamanders on many occasions for their lesser-known activities towards eradicating Dark Beings. Rolf has them Shrunk somewhere or other in the tent, at least, he thinks he does.
18. It becomes easier to find things when Maya, the former house-elf of the South American would-be god that the Scamanders installed with the Caipora, recovers from her self-inflicted, disloyalty-related injuries and requests to join their household-or "tenthold," as the case certainly is.
    
    Rolf recovers relatively quickly after discovering Maya's nest in a private corner of their tent.
    
    Luna loves Rolf, but one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of her married life is her husband's fixation on eggs.
19. Maya is scandalised when Luna suggests that the father of the house-elf's child is welcome to join them.
    
    "House-elfs is not ever speaking the names of the Fertilizers! House-elfs is not ever tolerating the presence of the Fertilisers after their act is being completed!"
    
    This attitude surprises Luna, and over a nice cup of moss tea, which Bogdan taught her to brew safely as well as, if needed, lethally effectively, she takes copious notes about house-elf fertility and sexual mores.
    
    One day, studying those things could prove quite fruitful, indeed!
20. Unbeknownst to Luna and well before she met him, Rolf was once cursed by an unusually and strongly magical heeg-a heeg, no matter what you may have heard, is a male hag-who had survived his sisters, aunts, and mother to adulthood. As it happens, the Heeg in question was adept at Compulsion "Charms."
    
    Can you guess, "eggxactly," the nature of his curse?