Fate - Chapter 46 - We're having a...
Fate
Chapter 46 - We're having a...
POV: Cassandra / Zac
April 9, 2007
Zac had released at the end of March that he had gotten married and that he was expecting another baby in the Fall, the rumor mill abound was that I was not only the mother of the new baby but I was also Joshua’s mother. Neither of us felt it was important enough to correct them and in a legal sense he could not tell them who Joshua’s mother really was. The important people knew the truth and that was all that mattered.
Yet, I had been a nervous wreck the last few weeks. I had lost her around the 20 week mark and I was sitting at 21 weeks and 2 days right now. I could feel this baby move, feel the kicks and little flutters. Especially when I was laying down because I was showing some. Zac had actually felt the baby move last night while I was laying down.
I knew realistically that even if I didn’t feel movement 24/7, that it didn’t mean anything because babies sleep in the womb too and there could be movements I didn’t feel. I had gotten up earlier than either of them because I had a 7 am class. He was going to meet me at the doctor at 11. I met Emily at the door and we took our seats. She was dying for July because she wanted to take maternity pictures of me. I didn’t have the heart yet to think that far ahead, because she didn’t know about the prior loss.
“You find out the sex today, right?”
“Yes, we’re supposed too.”
“Anyone doing a baby shower?”
“Saphira is doing one at the end of June, after Joshua’s birthday. If this one is a boy, we won’t need much of anything and really, even a girl we don’t need much.”
“I can’t believe you got pregnant that quick, like does he have super sperm or something?”
I laughed. “No idea. But, let’s go with after this one if it’s like four times and we’re expecting again, I may have to declare him that way.”
She laughed and when the class was over she gave me her address for Saphira so she could invite her to the eventual baby shower. It worked out because I was headed to her house anyway. I was let in quickly and she met me at the door but when I didn’t pause to get Joshua she boo’ed me.
“Where is he?”
“Grandma has him. Zac took him over there this morning before going to the studio. I had to be at class by seven.”
“You could have gone and gotten him before coming over.”
I rolled my eyes and we went inside with her, once we were inside she couldn’t resist putting her hand over the baby.
“I can feel very small movements.”
“Yeah, well that small movement to you is like a kidney shot to me.”
“How are you feeling?”
“The headaches have gone away but I’m just scared Saphira. 21 weeks.”
“You’ll be okay.”
“So, Emily gave me her address for the invites.”
“I need all of them, do you have that list?”
“I am working on my cousins! I mean damn woman give me time to reconnect.”
She laughed. “Work harder. Less sex, more address getting.”
“I can’t help it! The hormones are just…I didn’t have that with the first one. In fact, sex was the utmost last thing I wanted with her. This one? Fuck, he can look at me the right way and I want to jump him.”
“Do you really think he minds?”
“Oh hell no, he doesn’t mind at all. Worst part, the studio.”
“You two had sex at the studio?”
“He sent Ike and Taylor for lunch…across town. Because I’d asked.”
“So bad. Don’t you have an appointment today?”
“Yes. It’s at 3:30 and we should find out the sex today too.”
“You better call me!”
“We’re doing this big family meeting tomorrow night to tell everyone after that I can tell everyone else, until then it’s top secret.”
“Do you have a preference?”
“I think part of me wants a boy just because I lost a girl. Like, gender was not a factor in what happen but somehow I think it was. But, on the other hand I want a girl because we have a son already.”
“You want to know what’s odd, when you told me about Calvin you said you couldn’t leave Joshua. I guess you were right. Joshua needed you and so did his daddy.”
“Yeah, but you also kept telling me to pursue the daddy!”
“Glad you did! Was he happy that this pregnancy wasn’t a result of one night?”
“Definitely, he’s really excited, even though we both know it won’t be easy to have a newborn and a fourteen month old.”
“Joshua is the best behaved baby I’ve ever seen.”
“He’s getting a little less behaved, he’s moving more and now that he’s also pulling up it’s less behaved.”
“You two got this.”
She had a fruit and veggie tray which between us both we polished them off. We also talked about the baby shower and what I wanted and didn’t want. We set up a registry but for the moment, nothing was really added but the new nipples, because I didn’t know if we needed anything or not.
“Do you have an idea for a take home suit?”
“Oh, Zac has informed me he would like to use the same suit Joshua wore home. He still has it and it’s perfect for either sex.”
“Good. So…what is he doing car wise?”
I sighed. “He keeps telling me my car isn’t really safe. He had Reed check it and he agreed, it’s just old and Calvin didn’t really upkeep it right. Reed wants to buy it and he wants to get me another one. Something safer for both me and the kids.”
“I think he’s right. But, do you want a car?”
“I don’t know honestly. But, right now we don’t have time to look really. Apparently, I am going to Ireland and England.”
“No way.”
“We leave Wednesday to go to Dublin, as long as the doctor doesn’t say no that is, we do plan to ask.”
“You’ll have a great time I know you will.”
“I’ll get to visit my cousin too, Annabelle. She’s going to come to a show.”
“You better take tons of pictures.”
“I am, my next class starts after but she gave me some of the assignments, I can accomplish them while we’re traveling. It’ll be a great experience for both me and Joshua.”
“Agreed.”
“I think you should get an SUV or something mid-range. But, definitely look into that when you have time.”
I giggled. “I will, I do like smaller cars though. However, I may look to the future because two is apparently less than he wanted.”
She laughed. “Of course.”
We talked, goofed off and I left her house in time to make it to the appointment a little bit early. Zac got there a few moments after I did.
“Where is Joshua?”
“Mom still has him. She said I should attend this one without needing to chase him around.”
“Makes sense to me.”
We headed inside and got checked in and even had the routine blood work, height, weight, and all that stuff. The exam part went fine and then we were moved into the sonogram room.
“You are shaking.” He said.
“I’m honestly scared, they did this last time and then I lost her. I just…I keep saying everything is fine and I see the doctor’s reports but I can’t eliminate the possibility.”
I felt his lips on my cheek. “You will be fine.”
-Zac-
She smiled at me. “You aren’t necessarily not shaking.”
It was true, I was trembling a bit myself. “Last time I was here I wasn’t in this room. I was in another room watching a black and grey image with no explanations. I didn’t get told anything.”
“I told you, every appointment right here. You are just as involved with this. I wish you could have gotten this with him.”
“Me too.”
The lady came in and greeted us, it wasn’t the transvaginal this time, just cold gel to the tummy. Much like with Joshua’s anatomy sonogram the technician identified arm bones, head, spine, legs, hands, and feet. Only this time she indicated it and I knew what it was before she labeled it. She got a really good image of the face.
“I think your nose and lips for sure.” Cassie said.
“No no, this one needs to be a mini you. I have a mini me already!”
“Would you like to know what you are having?”
“Please.” She said.
She moved the wand around, apparently he or she had moved.
“Stubborn little one.”
She kept moving it, sometime moving it side to side quickly. She finally got a somewhat decent picture and froze it. She labeled two thighs, then put an arrow at what to me looked like just three lines.
“It’s a girl. You can see the three little lines here, that would indicate girl.”
“Are you sure?” Cassie asked.
“Yes, Ma’am.”
A girl. We were going to have a daughter. But, I knew that it wasn’t quite what she wanted because of the loss. But she had heard the very strong heartbeat and everything looked fine. The girl did one last thing, she checked to make sure the placenta was still in the same spot as it was last time.
“Is that where it was last time?” I asked.
“It does seem to be in the same area, it’s hard to determine exactly, but I feel confident that it hasn’t moved and hasn’t detached.”
The last part of the appointment was talking to the doctor. Where Cassie asked about flying and traveling. She was told it was fine but she shouldn’t overdo it and she should see a doctor there if anything felt abnormal. I was glad she’d be able to go because I wanted her to experience traveling and new places. We finished up the appointment and she made the next one before we headed outside.
We were almost to the truck when I heard my name, we both turned because well, she knew Maddilyn’s voice as well.
“I didn’t think it was really you!”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
She looked at Cassie and her eyes dipped casually. “Cassie.”
“Maddi.” She said.
“I um…guess you weren’t lying when you made that post.”
“No, I wouldn’t lie about that. You should know that.”
“She’s what? A few weeks?”
“I’m at 21 weeks, found out right before Christmas.”
I wasn’t stupid and I could tell Maddi connected the dots quickly. Right before meant the day she came to the house, Cassie was already pregnant. She also wasn’t stupid, had I gone back and Cassie told me, I would have left her again. Not that I was that stupid, Cassie is where I belonged.
“I um…I’m happy for you Zac. As much as I wish it was me, I am glad that you were able to find someone that loves you like you deserve.”
“Thank you. I do wish you the same, you deserve that.”
“I’m trying! But I gotta get inside for my check-up. I graduate in May. I would like it if you could be there. You helped me a lot with classes and encouraged me to finish. I’d even like for Cassie to be there if she wants to be.”
“We’ll consider it but let me know when and where. I will have to make sure band stuff isn’t scheduled.”
“Not a problem.”
She headed inside and I looked at Cassie, who seemed fine.
“I think we should go, at least you should.”
“I won’t go without you. But, we’ll see.”
“You want to head home?” I asked.
“I need to relieve your mom if I do, are you going back to the studio?”
“I am.”
She handed me the keys to her car and we split up. I headed back to the studio where both Taylor and Isaac were waiting by the door.
“You know I can’t tell you until tomorrow night.”
“Can we guess?” Taylor asked.
“You can, but I’m not going to confirm or deny either. But, Cassie is cleared to go with us, the doctor told her to not overdo it and if anything odd happened to see a doctor.”
“She’ll be fine Zac. Girl? Boy?”
I just looked at him. “I’ll tell you tomorrow night.”
We did get what we needed to done and then I headed home, when I came in I was struck with how different my life was now, compared to this time last year. I had moved out in February and spent many weeks coming home to an empty house. At first it was just an air mattress and my thoughts, then it was empty bed and empty house.
Yet now when I came in Joshua would head right to me, often calling my name. Today was no different and I knew this time next year, two little ones would be! Often the house smelled wonderful because Cassie believed in cooking at home and god love her Mom for teaching her how to cook! It was rarely quiet now, unless Joshua was asleep. I’d felt alone last time and now, I wasn’t alone.
I picked Joshua up and smothered him in kisses and hugs before heading to the kitchen. I gave her kisses and hugs too.
“Dinner’s almost done, just a few more minutes.”
I smiled and played with Joshua a bit until she had his ready and then we sat down for dinner. It was nice..this was nice. Once we were done with dinner I cleaned up, sending her to sit down. We discussed over dinner some car options, I was not liking the way hers sounded. While I was on tour it wouldn’t be a big deal, so we had some time to really find one that would work for us.
When I sat down in the living room I put my arm around her.
“Are you okay with a girl?”
“I’ll be fine with either sex, as long as they are born healthy. I’m sure that I’ll be fine when I get a few more weeks behind me.”
“Well, we’ll have our son and our daughter.”
“We will. But, we do need to think about giving her the spare room and making it more girly.”
“Yep. He’s not old enough for his own bed, is he?”
“Not yet, if he tries to climb out of the crib then yes. Usually it was around fifteen or more months before we saw that at the daycare. So, you got time.”
“His bed converts anyway.”
“We don’t need much for her room, a crib and a new dresser. The closet is big enough. The bed there, I don’t know what to do with it.”
“There is overhead storage in the garage but the mattress won’t last long. I’ll ask Mom if she can use it.”
“Well, my parents may could use it. I’ll ask them too.”
“We can fix her room when we get back.”
“Agreed.”
She found a movie and since it was more cartoony, Joshua got up in her lap and watched some of it. We headed to bed at about the same time.
Chapter 46 - We're having a...
POV: Cassandra / Zac
April 9, 2007
Zac had released at the end of March that he had gotten married and that he was expecting another baby in the Fall, the rumor mill abound was that I was not only the mother of the new baby but I was also Joshua’s mother. Neither of us felt it was important enough to correct them and in a legal sense he could not tell them who Joshua’s mother really was. The important people knew the truth and that was all that mattered.
Yet, I had been a nervous wreck the last few weeks. I had lost her around the 20 week mark and I was sitting at 21 weeks and 2 days right now. I could feel this baby move, feel the kicks and little flutters. Especially when I was laying down because I was showing some. Zac had actually felt the baby move last night while I was laying down.
I knew realistically that even if I didn’t feel movement 24/7, that it didn’t mean anything because babies sleep in the womb too and there could be movements I didn’t feel. I had gotten up earlier than either of them because I had a 7 am class. He was going to meet me at the doctor at 11. I met Emily at the door and we took our seats. She was dying for July because she wanted to take maternity pictures of me. I didn’t have the heart yet to think that far ahead, because she didn’t know about the prior loss.
“You find out the sex today, right?”
“Yes, we’re supposed too.”
“Anyone doing a baby shower?”
“Saphira is doing one at the end of June, after Joshua’s birthday. If this one is a boy, we won’t need much of anything and really, even a girl we don’t need much.”
“I can’t believe you got pregnant that quick, like does he have super sperm or something?”
I laughed. “No idea. But, let’s go with after this one if it’s like four times and we’re expecting again, I may have to declare him that way.”
She laughed and when the class was over she gave me her address for Saphira so she could invite her to the eventual baby shower. It worked out because I was headed to her house anyway. I was let in quickly and she met me at the door but when I didn’t pause to get Joshua she boo’ed me.
“Where is he?”
“Grandma has him. Zac took him over there this morning before going to the studio. I had to be at class by seven.”
“You could have gone and gotten him before coming over.”
I rolled my eyes and we went inside with her, once we were inside she couldn’t resist putting her hand over the baby.
“I can feel very small movements.”
“Yeah, well that small movement to you is like a kidney shot to me.”
“How are you feeling?”
“The headaches have gone away but I’m just scared Saphira. 21 weeks.”
“You’ll be okay.”
“So, Emily gave me her address for the invites.”
“I need all of them, do you have that list?”
“I am working on my cousins! I mean damn woman give me time to reconnect.”
She laughed. “Work harder. Less sex, more address getting.”
“I can’t help it! The hormones are just…I didn’t have that with the first one. In fact, sex was the utmost last thing I wanted with her. This one? Fuck, he can look at me the right way and I want to jump him.”
“Do you really think he minds?”
“Oh hell no, he doesn’t mind at all. Worst part, the studio.”
“You two had sex at the studio?”
“He sent Ike and Taylor for lunch…across town. Because I’d asked.”
“So bad. Don’t you have an appointment today?”
“Yes. It’s at 3:30 and we should find out the sex today too.”
“You better call me!”
“We’re doing this big family meeting tomorrow night to tell everyone after that I can tell everyone else, until then it’s top secret.”
“Do you have a preference?”
“I think part of me wants a boy just because I lost a girl. Like, gender was not a factor in what happen but somehow I think it was. But, on the other hand I want a girl because we have a son already.”
“You want to know what’s odd, when you told me about Calvin you said you couldn’t leave Joshua. I guess you were right. Joshua needed you and so did his daddy.”
“Yeah, but you also kept telling me to pursue the daddy!”
“Glad you did! Was he happy that this pregnancy wasn’t a result of one night?”
“Definitely, he’s really excited, even though we both know it won’t be easy to have a newborn and a fourteen month old.”
“Joshua is the best behaved baby I’ve ever seen.”
“He’s getting a little less behaved, he’s moving more and now that he’s also pulling up it’s less behaved.”
“You two got this.”
She had a fruit and veggie tray which between us both we polished them off. We also talked about the baby shower and what I wanted and didn’t want. We set up a registry but for the moment, nothing was really added but the new nipples, because I didn’t know if we needed anything or not.
“Do you have an idea for a take home suit?”
“Oh, Zac has informed me he would like to use the same suit Joshua wore home. He still has it and it’s perfect for either sex.”
“Good. So…what is he doing car wise?”
I sighed. “He keeps telling me my car isn’t really safe. He had Reed check it and he agreed, it’s just old and Calvin didn’t really upkeep it right. Reed wants to buy it and he wants to get me another one. Something safer for both me and the kids.”
“I think he’s right. But, do you want a car?”
“I don’t know honestly. But, right now we don’t have time to look really. Apparently, I am going to Ireland and England.”
“No way.”
“We leave Wednesday to go to Dublin, as long as the doctor doesn’t say no that is, we do plan to ask.”
“You’ll have a great time I know you will.”
“I’ll get to visit my cousin too, Annabelle. She’s going to come to a show.”
“You better take tons of pictures.”
“I am, my next class starts after but she gave me some of the assignments, I can accomplish them while we’re traveling. It’ll be a great experience for both me and Joshua.”
“Agreed.”
“I think you should get an SUV or something mid-range. But, definitely look into that when you have time.”
I giggled. “I will, I do like smaller cars though. However, I may look to the future because two is apparently less than he wanted.”
She laughed. “Of course.”
We talked, goofed off and I left her house in time to make it to the appointment a little bit early. Zac got there a few moments after I did.
“Where is Joshua?”
“Mom still has him. She said I should attend this one without needing to chase him around.”
“Makes sense to me.”
We headed inside and got checked in and even had the routine blood work, height, weight, and all that stuff. The exam part went fine and then we were moved into the sonogram room.
“You are shaking.” He said.
“I’m honestly scared, they did this last time and then I lost her. I just…I keep saying everything is fine and I see the doctor’s reports but I can’t eliminate the possibility.”
I felt his lips on my cheek. “You will be fine.”
-Zac-
She smiled at me. “You aren’t necessarily not shaking.”
It was true, I was trembling a bit myself. “Last time I was here I wasn’t in this room. I was in another room watching a black and grey image with no explanations. I didn’t get told anything.”
“I told you, every appointment right here. You are just as involved with this. I wish you could have gotten this with him.”
“Me too.”
The lady came in and greeted us, it wasn’t the transvaginal this time, just cold gel to the tummy. Much like with Joshua’s anatomy sonogram the technician identified arm bones, head, spine, legs, hands, and feet. Only this time she indicated it and I knew what it was before she labeled it. She got a really good image of the face.
“I think your nose and lips for sure.” Cassie said.
“No no, this one needs to be a mini you. I have a mini me already!”
“Would you like to know what you are having?”
“Please.” She said.
She moved the wand around, apparently he or she had moved.
“Stubborn little one.”
She kept moving it, sometime moving it side to side quickly. She finally got a somewhat decent picture and froze it. She labeled two thighs, then put an arrow at what to me looked like just three lines.
“It’s a girl. You can see the three little lines here, that would indicate girl.”
“Are you sure?” Cassie asked.
“Yes, Ma’am.”
A girl. We were going to have a daughter. But, I knew that it wasn’t quite what she wanted because of the loss. But she had heard the very strong heartbeat and everything looked fine. The girl did one last thing, she checked to make sure the placenta was still in the same spot as it was last time.
“Is that where it was last time?” I asked.
“It does seem to be in the same area, it’s hard to determine exactly, but I feel confident that it hasn’t moved and hasn’t detached.”
The last part of the appointment was talking to the doctor. Where Cassie asked about flying and traveling. She was told it was fine but she shouldn’t overdo it and she should see a doctor there if anything felt abnormal. I was glad she’d be able to go because I wanted her to experience traveling and new places. We finished up the appointment and she made the next one before we headed outside.
We were almost to the truck when I heard my name, we both turned because well, she knew Maddilyn’s voice as well.
“I didn’t think it was really you!”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
She looked at Cassie and her eyes dipped casually. “Cassie.”
“Maddi.” She said.
“I um…guess you weren’t lying when you made that post.”
“No, I wouldn’t lie about that. You should know that.”
“She’s what? A few weeks?”
“I’m at 21 weeks, found out right before Christmas.”
I wasn’t stupid and I could tell Maddi connected the dots quickly. Right before meant the day she came to the house, Cassie was already pregnant. She also wasn’t stupid, had I gone back and Cassie told me, I would have left her again. Not that I was that stupid, Cassie is where I belonged.
“I um…I’m happy for you Zac. As much as I wish it was me, I am glad that you were able to find someone that loves you like you deserve.”
“Thank you. I do wish you the same, you deserve that.”
“I’m trying! But I gotta get inside for my check-up. I graduate in May. I would like it if you could be there. You helped me a lot with classes and encouraged me to finish. I’d even like for Cassie to be there if she wants to be.”
“We’ll consider it but let me know when and where. I will have to make sure band stuff isn’t scheduled.”
“Not a problem.”
She headed inside and I looked at Cassie, who seemed fine.
“I think we should go, at least you should.”
“I won’t go without you. But, we’ll see.”
“You want to head home?” I asked.
“I need to relieve your mom if I do, are you going back to the studio?”
“I am.”
She handed me the keys to her car and we split up. I headed back to the studio where both Taylor and Isaac were waiting by the door.
“You know I can’t tell you until tomorrow night.”
“Can we guess?” Taylor asked.
“You can, but I’m not going to confirm or deny either. But, Cassie is cleared to go with us, the doctor told her to not overdo it and if anything odd happened to see a doctor.”
“She’ll be fine Zac. Girl? Boy?”
I just looked at him. “I’ll tell you tomorrow night.”
We did get what we needed to done and then I headed home, when I came in I was struck with how different my life was now, compared to this time last year. I had moved out in February and spent many weeks coming home to an empty house. At first it was just an air mattress and my thoughts, then it was empty bed and empty house.
Yet now when I came in Joshua would head right to me, often calling my name. Today was no different and I knew this time next year, two little ones would be! Often the house smelled wonderful because Cassie believed in cooking at home and god love her Mom for teaching her how to cook! It was rarely quiet now, unless Joshua was asleep. I’d felt alone last time and now, I wasn’t alone.
I picked Joshua up and smothered him in kisses and hugs before heading to the kitchen. I gave her kisses and hugs too.
“Dinner’s almost done, just a few more minutes.”
I smiled and played with Joshua a bit until she had his ready and then we sat down for dinner. It was nice..this was nice. Once we were done with dinner I cleaned up, sending her to sit down. We discussed over dinner some car options, I was not liking the way hers sounded. While I was on tour it wouldn’t be a big deal, so we had some time to really find one that would work for us.
When I sat down in the living room I put my arm around her.
“Are you okay with a girl?”
“I’ll be fine with either sex, as long as they are born healthy. I’m sure that I’ll be fine when I get a few more weeks behind me.”
“Well, we’ll have our son and our daughter.”
“We will. But, we do need to think about giving her the spare room and making it more girly.”
“Yep. He’s not old enough for his own bed, is he?”
“Not yet, if he tries to climb out of the crib then yes. Usually it was around fifteen or more months before we saw that at the daycare. So, you got time.”
“His bed converts anyway.”
“We don’t need much for her room, a crib and a new dresser. The closet is big enough. The bed there, I don’t know what to do with it.”
“There is overhead storage in the garage but the mattress won’t last long. I’ll ask Mom if she can use it.”
“Well, my parents may could use it. I’ll ask them too.”
“We can fix her room when we get back.”
“Agreed.”
She found a movie and since it was more cartoony, Joshua got up in her lap and watched some of it. We headed to bed at about the same time.