Fate - Chapter 36 - Birthday For Ike
Fate
Chapter 36 - Birthday for Ike
POV: Cassandra
November 17, 2006
I could definitely tell that Zac was worried about Megan and what could happen. He had always spent a lot of time with Joshua but he was doing more than normal, checking on him more often and making sure things at the house were set up the way they should be.
I did move my things back to the guest room and even made an effort to make it feel like I truly did sleep in there, while I totally understood the reason it was doing nothing for my own feelings of doubt. The fact that he still wanted me in the bedroom with him was good though. They had been busy all week compiling the video footage to use and they were going to have someone come film them playing Monday for some extra shots.
Zac had come to the door about the time Joshua went to sleep, so instead of us going with him to get lunch I just told him to bring me something back and Taylor went instead. I was doing what I promised and looking at available photography classes and what options were available. It was part of the deal to him cutting the pay that I went back to school, and it was something I wanted to do.
I heard the very light knock and looked at the door, only two options Jessica or Isaac and it was Isaac there.
“I was wondering if I’d see you today. Happy Birthday.”
“Thank you. I um, came to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
Isaac and I had never really talked, I felt he hated me the most out of the entire family. Since I didn’t know the topic of our discussion and I didn’t want Joshua’s nap to be compromised, I got my stool and headed to the hallway. Where we both sat down, I pulled the door to but left it cracked just a bit so I could hear him.
“I don’t want to wake him up.”
“No problem, I understand he gets super cranky if he doesn’t nap.”
“Yeah, he can.”
“So, I was talking to Taylor the other day and he said that you felt like I didn’t like you or that I hated you. That you really felt that way about us all.”
“Well, he didn’t lie to you. It’s what I told him when he came to talk to me also. I don’t think it’s quite hatred though, but really, you don’t give me the feeling that you like me that much, if at all. You and I haven’t really talked and you usually go through Zac when you don’t want me to be somewhere or do something.”
“Yeah, about what Taylor said to me when he said I needed to stop being an ass and quit holding onto things. I don’t hate you. I’m sorry that I made you feel that way, I just didn’t know what your intention was and on the coattails of Megan I guess I just assumed you’d be somewhat like her, and that you wouldn’t be around long if you felt like there was no chance of being with any of us.”
“My intention when I came here in June was to just stay away from my ex husband and to make sure that Joshua was taken care of. It’s why I was here. To watch him so Zac could do what you guys needed to do. Zac did tell me about Megan and what happened, not like right off the bat but eventually.”
“I didn’t believe that though Cass, I couldn’t really believe it because I just got stuck in how much she hurt me and how she affected everything.”
“It’s understandable Isaac, but you can’t assume that everyone will be like Megan.”
“Do you really feel like we ignore Joshua?”
I took a deep breath and considered how badly I wanted to piss them off this close to a holiday. But he had asked!
“It’s not a feeling Isaac. I’m here all the time with him and no one ever came in. Don’t even try to use the we’re busy or you were watching him either, that’s not an excuse or a reason not to come in there. No one stops you from walking in there and talking to him, or offering to feed him or change a diaper. Even if you don’t want to do that you can always play with him, talk to him. Until Taylor and I talked he didn’t do that, now he does and the world hasn’t crashed and burned.”
“Taylor’s reasons are different than mine Cassandra.”
I looked at him. “Yeah, you wish that he was your son and that you and Megan were raising him like the perfect little family.”
Yep, the widened eyes and shocked face said he didn’t think I’d know that! Or that I hadn’t considered that option.
“How did you…”
“You sometimes stare at him with this longing expression, I didn’t at first understand why until Zac told me that Megan was your girlfriend and not his, it was apparent then. You wish Joshua was your son. You wish that you could have been there and that she’d be here. But, Isaac what makes you certain she would have done any differently with you?”
“She clearly loved me.”
I snorted and then laughed. “She loved you? That’s bullshit Isaac and you know it. If she loved you then she would have never had sex with Zac. Think about what he told you Isaac. She chose the movie, a porn movie. She chose to put ketamine in his drink, she chose to come on to him. I’m not saying that Zac is innocent there, yes he should have never let her stay. He should have gotten up and left when the first scene came on. But, everyone of you act like he raped her or something.”
“Well, Mrs. I know everything. What was the point in her doing that?”
I looked through the glass and pointed at Joshua. “She wanted a connection, a permanent reason to be associated with you. Zac told me everything Isaac, including that Megan told you he was yours. She lied to you, knowing Joshua wasn’t yours. She was fully prepared to trap you with a baby that wasn’t yours. Let me ask this, what would you have done if Zac kept his mouth shut? If he never told you or Maddi.”
He blinked. “Well, I probably would have asked her to marry me, it would have been the right thing to do for me. I just didn’t ever think he was mine.”
“That’s what Megan wanted Isaac. Think about it, you dumped her and she went straight to Zac. But because he wasn’t willing to leave Maddi on his own, she went and told her. I don’t know Maddi but I am inclined to believe she wouldn’t have been as pissed if Zac had been the one to tell her. When she saw Maddi leave, because she had to have been watching, she tried to swoop in. Megan thought Zac would just give up on Maddi and love her.”
“But he didn’t.”
“No, he didn’t. When she accepted the fact that Zac wasn’t going to come groveling to her and that he didn’t love her, she went after the one thing she could control. Him. She put his life in danger with drugs and alcohol. She didn’t care what happened to him Isaac, that alone should tell you what kind of person she is. He was and still is innocent in everything. He didn’t ask his mom to drug Zac, he didn’t make Zac have sex with her. He was created because Megan was selfish and wanted to say she married a Hanson. Yet, you all seem to act like he must be ignored because of some unknown reason.”
“We didn’t mean to.”
“I didn’t say you did but come on, he’s your nephew and your parent’s only grandchild right now. What should be a super happy time is just stressful. Zac’s worried that she will win because he can’t prove that what he said is true. He told her that he’d have his family as support and as soon as you guys were told, you shut him out. You put additional stress on him as a new parent with a newborn and custody and everything.”
The air between us grew thick and I knew that he was the most stubborn of them all. He looked into the room at Joshua asleep in the pack n play, another week or so and I would have to drop that down because he was getting really good at rolling over.
“I feel like it’s too late. He’s now like five months old and it’s been a year. I feel like I’ve done too much to hurt Zac and it was because of a girl. I should have never allowed her to come between us. I keep wanting to tell Zac but I just…can’t.”
“Tell him what?” I asked.
I failed to inform Isaac that Zac was standing behind him, he’d come in partly through his last sentence and instead of saying something he just kept quiet. Maybe, it’s what he needed to hear and what Isaac needed to say, but not necessarily when they were face to face.
“That despite the fact that I was mad, hurt, and felt Joshua should have been mine, I am very proud of him. Yes, I was pissed that he made all of those decisions without consulting us and nothing we did or said changed his mind. But ultimately his decisions were the right ones. They protected Joshua and he is a great father. He’s attentive, caring, he found the right babysitter for him and he stuck to those decisions. I can’t say I would have done the same things.”
“You’re proud of me?”
I could detect the emotion in Zac’s voice and Isaac turned confused and unsure. “I didn’t know you were here. But, yes I am. Not many men your age would take the steps you have taken to make sure he’s happy. You’ve done everything you could to make sure he’s safe. I know that I haven’t been the best supporter or even brother at this point.”
I stepped quietly into the office and left them there to talk, it’s what they needed to do. Taylor stepped in and sat my lunch down.
“Are you being a fixer again?”
“You started it, he came to me. But, I think they need to talk Taylor. It’s been a year and they need to begin to repair their relationship. Which will improve Isaac’s with Joshua and maybe if they are on the same page, your parents will be and Jess will be too.”
“Fixer.”
I shrugged, wasn’t my plan but I was glad it was happening. He went to his office so he could call Harper and when Isaac and Zac were done talking he came into the office.
“You saw me there, why didn’t you stop him?”
He sat down in his chair and I smiled. “Because what he said is what you needed to hear. Everything okay?”
“He’s going to come over Sunday and we can really talk about everything, but what is it with you and my brothers? Twice I’ve come back to find them in serious conversations.”
I smiled and kissed him. “But the only Hanson I want is you. They came to me to talk, Taylor because he was curious and Isaac I think he just wanted to talk and look how they both ended.”
“Now if I can just get Jess and my parents…”
“I’m no miracle worker, honey.”
“Sure about that?”
“Yes. Now eat your lunch so you can get busy.”
He pulled me down into his lap. “Pretty sure your version of busy and mine are different.”
“I’m sure they are. Not that I mind either scenario.”
He leaned against my neck, soft kisses. “Only place here is the kitchen or the bathroom.”
I glanced at Joshua and knew he had at least another hour on that nap but if they caught us here that wouldn’t be good.
“Or you could get busy and we can get home early…”
“I kind of like the way you think.”
He got his lunch eaten and they got busy, I went back to searching for colleges, making a list of the ones available with the right program along with how, when, where, and how much each was. Joshua and I actually stepped outside a bit but not for long, fresh air and it was kind of chilly. Once they were done for the day we headed home and got settled. We had to gear up for the upcoming holiday so I wouldn’t go in next week with them, I’d prepare whatever I could and clean.
Chapter 36 - Birthday for Ike
POV: Cassandra
November 17, 2006
I could definitely tell that Zac was worried about Megan and what could happen. He had always spent a lot of time with Joshua but he was doing more than normal, checking on him more often and making sure things at the house were set up the way they should be.
I did move my things back to the guest room and even made an effort to make it feel like I truly did sleep in there, while I totally understood the reason it was doing nothing for my own feelings of doubt. The fact that he still wanted me in the bedroom with him was good though. They had been busy all week compiling the video footage to use and they were going to have someone come film them playing Monday for some extra shots.
Zac had come to the door about the time Joshua went to sleep, so instead of us going with him to get lunch I just told him to bring me something back and Taylor went instead. I was doing what I promised and looking at available photography classes and what options were available. It was part of the deal to him cutting the pay that I went back to school, and it was something I wanted to do.
I heard the very light knock and looked at the door, only two options Jessica or Isaac and it was Isaac there.
“I was wondering if I’d see you today. Happy Birthday.”
“Thank you. I um, came to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
Isaac and I had never really talked, I felt he hated me the most out of the entire family. Since I didn’t know the topic of our discussion and I didn’t want Joshua’s nap to be compromised, I got my stool and headed to the hallway. Where we both sat down, I pulled the door to but left it cracked just a bit so I could hear him.
“I don’t want to wake him up.”
“No problem, I understand he gets super cranky if he doesn’t nap.”
“Yeah, he can.”
“So, I was talking to Taylor the other day and he said that you felt like I didn’t like you or that I hated you. That you really felt that way about us all.”
“Well, he didn’t lie to you. It’s what I told him when he came to talk to me also. I don’t think it’s quite hatred though, but really, you don’t give me the feeling that you like me that much, if at all. You and I haven’t really talked and you usually go through Zac when you don’t want me to be somewhere or do something.”
“Yeah, about what Taylor said to me when he said I needed to stop being an ass and quit holding onto things. I don’t hate you. I’m sorry that I made you feel that way, I just didn’t know what your intention was and on the coattails of Megan I guess I just assumed you’d be somewhat like her, and that you wouldn’t be around long if you felt like there was no chance of being with any of us.”
“My intention when I came here in June was to just stay away from my ex husband and to make sure that Joshua was taken care of. It’s why I was here. To watch him so Zac could do what you guys needed to do. Zac did tell me about Megan and what happened, not like right off the bat but eventually.”
“I didn’t believe that though Cass, I couldn’t really believe it because I just got stuck in how much she hurt me and how she affected everything.”
“It’s understandable Isaac, but you can’t assume that everyone will be like Megan.”
“Do you really feel like we ignore Joshua?”
I took a deep breath and considered how badly I wanted to piss them off this close to a holiday. But he had asked!
“It’s not a feeling Isaac. I’m here all the time with him and no one ever came in. Don’t even try to use the we’re busy or you were watching him either, that’s not an excuse or a reason not to come in there. No one stops you from walking in there and talking to him, or offering to feed him or change a diaper. Even if you don’t want to do that you can always play with him, talk to him. Until Taylor and I talked he didn’t do that, now he does and the world hasn’t crashed and burned.”
“Taylor’s reasons are different than mine Cassandra.”
I looked at him. “Yeah, you wish that he was your son and that you and Megan were raising him like the perfect little family.”
Yep, the widened eyes and shocked face said he didn’t think I’d know that! Or that I hadn’t considered that option.
“How did you…”
“You sometimes stare at him with this longing expression, I didn’t at first understand why until Zac told me that Megan was your girlfriend and not his, it was apparent then. You wish Joshua was your son. You wish that you could have been there and that she’d be here. But, Isaac what makes you certain she would have done any differently with you?”
“She clearly loved me.”
I snorted and then laughed. “She loved you? That’s bullshit Isaac and you know it. If she loved you then she would have never had sex with Zac. Think about what he told you Isaac. She chose the movie, a porn movie. She chose to put ketamine in his drink, she chose to come on to him. I’m not saying that Zac is innocent there, yes he should have never let her stay. He should have gotten up and left when the first scene came on. But, everyone of you act like he raped her or something.”
“Well, Mrs. I know everything. What was the point in her doing that?”
I looked through the glass and pointed at Joshua. “She wanted a connection, a permanent reason to be associated with you. Zac told me everything Isaac, including that Megan told you he was yours. She lied to you, knowing Joshua wasn’t yours. She was fully prepared to trap you with a baby that wasn’t yours. Let me ask this, what would you have done if Zac kept his mouth shut? If he never told you or Maddi.”
He blinked. “Well, I probably would have asked her to marry me, it would have been the right thing to do for me. I just didn’t ever think he was mine.”
“That’s what Megan wanted Isaac. Think about it, you dumped her and she went straight to Zac. But because he wasn’t willing to leave Maddi on his own, she went and told her. I don’t know Maddi but I am inclined to believe she wouldn’t have been as pissed if Zac had been the one to tell her. When she saw Maddi leave, because she had to have been watching, she tried to swoop in. Megan thought Zac would just give up on Maddi and love her.”
“But he didn’t.”
“No, he didn’t. When she accepted the fact that Zac wasn’t going to come groveling to her and that he didn’t love her, she went after the one thing she could control. Him. She put his life in danger with drugs and alcohol. She didn’t care what happened to him Isaac, that alone should tell you what kind of person she is. He was and still is innocent in everything. He didn’t ask his mom to drug Zac, he didn’t make Zac have sex with her. He was created because Megan was selfish and wanted to say she married a Hanson. Yet, you all seem to act like he must be ignored because of some unknown reason.”
“We didn’t mean to.”
“I didn’t say you did but come on, he’s your nephew and your parent’s only grandchild right now. What should be a super happy time is just stressful. Zac’s worried that she will win because he can’t prove that what he said is true. He told her that he’d have his family as support and as soon as you guys were told, you shut him out. You put additional stress on him as a new parent with a newborn and custody and everything.”
The air between us grew thick and I knew that he was the most stubborn of them all. He looked into the room at Joshua asleep in the pack n play, another week or so and I would have to drop that down because he was getting really good at rolling over.
“I feel like it’s too late. He’s now like five months old and it’s been a year. I feel like I’ve done too much to hurt Zac and it was because of a girl. I should have never allowed her to come between us. I keep wanting to tell Zac but I just…can’t.”
“Tell him what?” I asked.
I failed to inform Isaac that Zac was standing behind him, he’d come in partly through his last sentence and instead of saying something he just kept quiet. Maybe, it’s what he needed to hear and what Isaac needed to say, but not necessarily when they were face to face.
“That despite the fact that I was mad, hurt, and felt Joshua should have been mine, I am very proud of him. Yes, I was pissed that he made all of those decisions without consulting us and nothing we did or said changed his mind. But ultimately his decisions were the right ones. They protected Joshua and he is a great father. He’s attentive, caring, he found the right babysitter for him and he stuck to those decisions. I can’t say I would have done the same things.”
“You’re proud of me?”
I could detect the emotion in Zac’s voice and Isaac turned confused and unsure. “I didn’t know you were here. But, yes I am. Not many men your age would take the steps you have taken to make sure he’s happy. You’ve done everything you could to make sure he’s safe. I know that I haven’t been the best supporter or even brother at this point.”
I stepped quietly into the office and left them there to talk, it’s what they needed to do. Taylor stepped in and sat my lunch down.
“Are you being a fixer again?”
“You started it, he came to me. But, I think they need to talk Taylor. It’s been a year and they need to begin to repair their relationship. Which will improve Isaac’s with Joshua and maybe if they are on the same page, your parents will be and Jess will be too.”
“Fixer.”
I shrugged, wasn’t my plan but I was glad it was happening. He went to his office so he could call Harper and when Isaac and Zac were done talking he came into the office.
“You saw me there, why didn’t you stop him?”
He sat down in his chair and I smiled. “Because what he said is what you needed to hear. Everything okay?”
“He’s going to come over Sunday and we can really talk about everything, but what is it with you and my brothers? Twice I’ve come back to find them in serious conversations.”
I smiled and kissed him. “But the only Hanson I want is you. They came to me to talk, Taylor because he was curious and Isaac I think he just wanted to talk and look how they both ended.”
“Now if I can just get Jess and my parents…”
“I’m no miracle worker, honey.”
“Sure about that?”
“Yes. Now eat your lunch so you can get busy.”
He pulled me down into his lap. “Pretty sure your version of busy and mine are different.”
“I’m sure they are. Not that I mind either scenario.”
He leaned against my neck, soft kisses. “Only place here is the kitchen or the bathroom.”
I glanced at Joshua and knew he had at least another hour on that nap but if they caught us here that wouldn’t be good.
“Or you could get busy and we can get home early…”
“I kind of like the way you think.”
He got his lunch eaten and they got busy, I went back to searching for colleges, making a list of the ones available with the right program along with how, when, where, and how much each was. Joshua and I actually stepped outside a bit but not for long, fresh air and it was kind of chilly. Once they were done for the day we headed home and got settled. We had to gear up for the upcoming holiday so I wouldn’t go in next week with them, I’d prepare whatever I could and clean.